Characters in video games can do amazing, often superhuman, things. And, just like in real life, some of them can’t help but remind you of how good they are. Here’s our top ten list of the cockiest video game characters, who love to mock the skills of others.
10. Duke Nukem
Duke has been kicking ass and searching for bubblegum for decades. He’s a living, breathing embodiment of man’s contempt for anything not made in his own image, be it woman or alien.
His quotes are among the most hilarious and offensive in video game history, so it should be of no surprise that the attached video is absolutely NSFW. Perhaps Duke’s coolest quality is that he’s not above quoting other people from pop culture. He’s so confident the person he’s going to fight will die, he doesn’t even need to be original.
Cockiest Quote: “I go where I please and I please where I go.”
Nova is a Marvel superhero with nearly limitless, God-like power. So he kind of has a reason to be confident in his abilities; his list of quotes reads like something Superman would say when he’s drunk.
A typical exchange between Nova and his enemies usually goes like so: “Okay, let’s review. Your ride is toast. I’m Nova. You’re dead. Allow me to DEMONSTRATE.”
In one of his first video game appearances, Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3, Nova insults virtually every member of the games cast in a similar fashion, presumably because he’s Nova and because he can.
Cockiest Quote (to any member of the Avengers:) “Earth’s mightiest heroes, huh? How limited.”
The half-demon/half-human protagonist of the Devil May Cry series was specifically designed to be as cocksure of himself as possible. This guy smiles at the thought of fighting a 1000-foot-tall statue containing all the power of the Devil himself. The only reason you can’t use the word swag to describe him, is because there’s a real chance he’d appear right here in the real word and rip your tongue out for doing so.
One feature of the series is the style meter, which basically rewards you for avoiding enemy attacks, taunting, and doing things like riding your fallen opponents body like a skateboard. The thing is, Dante will do all of these things during cut scenes too, a time when no one except his enemies can see him. Meaning that Dante views life as being so void of challenge, he purposely needs to back-flip while doing anything just to stop being bored. Seriously Dante, that’s just showing off.
Cockiest Quote (to Cerberus, the gate keeper of Hell:) “Easy, Fido! How about I take you out for a walks? Come on puppy, lets go!”
The first time you meet Final Fantasy 8′s Zell, he introduces himself by back-flipping across the room, and giving you the Fonzie thumbs up. He then proceeds to spend the entire game punching things, seriously. It doesn’t matter what kind of horror your party is facing: a guy with a gun, a giant snake, a time-travelling witch, whatever. Zell doesn’t care; he’ll walk up and punch them all square in the dome. Bear in mind, he’s a soldier and has access to weapons any time he wants. It’s like he just knows that there’s nothing more deadly than his right hook.
It’s probably also a good thing that he’s kind of right. It’s hard to say someone shouldn’t be sure of their ability to win, when they can literally run around the world and donkey punch you clear through time itself.
Cockiest Quote (before fighting a being of unspeakable terror:) “Let’s rock!”
This is Dante’s identical twin brother, and the main antagonist of Devil May Cry 3. Vergil has the same skills as his brother, with the difference being that he knows it. He relished taking every opportunity he has to insult his opponents’ skills, mid-combat. Unlike Dante, Vergil doesn’t care to toy with his opponents, and thinks nothing of punching the corpse of his fallen foe for daring to challenge him.
But the reason he places higher than his brother is this: even after being routinely pimp-slapped by Dante, he’s still so confident of his skills (which were just proven to be not as good as his brother’s,) he charges directly at the king of Hell.
Cockiest Quote (upon defeating you, while turning his back:) “You are not worthy as my opponent.”
5. Albert Wesker
Wesker is every guy you’ve ever hated, all rolled into one. He’s tall, athletic, and wears sunglasses indoors, at night. He’s also evil and bent on taking over the world, so there’s that reason to hate him too. And, as the above video showcases, he’s basically Neo.
Wesker views humanity the same way most of us would view a dog turd we stepped in along the way to collect a lottery win: an inconvenient step on the path to greatness. His plan is basically to kill everyone and become God which, as far as plans go, is placing the bar pretty high. So…good on him for being proactive, I guess.
Cockiest Quote: “How does it feel to be inferior? To know that you are destined for a life of mediocrity? Hmph. You probably can’t even conceive how much better I am than you.”
Bowser is a weird case. Despite always trying to kidnap Mario’s girlfriend, he still thinks nothing of inviting him and his brother on a go-kart excursion. However, it doesn’t change the fact that, despite losing in virtually every game he’s featured in, Bowser still walks around with a sense of self-satisfaction so undeserved, he could pass for a hipster.
It makes it worse that he takes every chance he has to taunt Mario, the overweight human plumber half his size, who’s physically bested him every time they’ve met. Bowser, that’s just embarrassing.
Cockiest Quote (during Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story:) ”Did somebody page the king of awesome?”
3. Frank West
The hero of Dead Rising almost didn’t make it onto this list, since most of his cockiness is down to the will of the player. Want him to beat the undead into paste with a king salmon, while wearing a dress? You can totally make him do that but, at the same time, you can also make him hide for the entire game.
But since there’s a second game in the series, that means there is an accepted canon, which is basically Frank West walking into a mall full of zombies, casually beating several thousand of them to re-death with his bare hands, then casually strolling back out again. Just consider that Frank admits to having never used a gun, meaning he saw thousands of undead standing between him and a story and, upon realizing he had no real way to defend himself, walked straight in anyway. Balls, Frank: you have them.
Cockiest Quote (after seeing zombies eat dozens of people and walking into the mall:) “Zombies, huh? I had a feeling you’d show up…”
2. Bryan Fury
Hailing from Tekken, Bryan Fury is half-man, half-cyborg, all cocky badass. This is probably due to the fact that his story has him at war with a magical ageless samurai and, in his first extended sequence, he attacks a tank with his bare hands. This man shrugs off tank fire! It’s no wonder he spends all of his time laughing at his opponents; he ripped a tank apart, with his bare hands! I’m sorry for the repetition, but that part seriously cannot be stressed enough.
The reason that Bryan is cocky though, is that he’s one the few characters in the Tekken series with a dedicated taunt, and one of his victory poses simply has him beating the lifeless body of his fallen foe for several seconds. He’ll only do this to male opponents though so, not only is he cocky, he doesn’t believe in equal rights. Douche. Also, TANK.
Cockiest Quote (upon defeating Kuma, who is a bear ”Just when I thought you’d be something more than a wild beast, you just had to go and disappoint me.”
Akuma, or Gouki to our Japanese readers, is only at number one because I couldn’t think of a way of placing him higher without breaking the universe, and I’m not doing that again. Akuma’s list of skills reads like somebody tried to put every dangerous-sounding word they could think of together, and then threw it into the Wu-Tang Clan name generator. Examples include:
Instant Hell Murder
True Instant Hell Murder
Air-Cutting Surge Fist
Strong Rising Dragon Fist
Note those first two; Akuma had a way to murder people instantly and decided that it just wasn’t terrifying enough. So he decided to make it stronger, because screw you. That’s Akuma in a nutshell; his confidence in his own skills is so great that I had to look up a synonym for cocky to see if there was a word that better described him. There wasn’t, but I assume this is because only Akuma knows how to pronounce it, and also knows a way to kill you with it. But his place on this list is ultimately decided by the quote below. Yes, the only person he admits to being worthy of his skills is…himself. It sounds cool but, out of context, it kind of sounds like the most depressing reason for masturbating ever. Take that, Akuma!
Cockiest Quote (when fighting against himself:) “Finally! A worthy opponent.”