10. Residual value of any footwear lobbed at president

9. Legal fees spent defending yourself in IRS audit of stuff you tried to deduct the year before

8. Loss of half the value of your 401K, one third the value of your home, your job, and hair pulled out along the way

7. Donations to help Sawyer put two smart kids through another year of college this year but dear God please give it a go anyway

6. Dead squirrel found in garage

5. Value of discarded “John Edwards ‘08” lawn signs

4. Charitable contributions made by purchasing Adam Sandler movie tickets

3. “Employment search expense checks” made out to Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich

2. Medical expenses incurred when you tried to use ShamWow! Miracle Sham to remove wax from cochlea after drunken ear candling party

1. Small Business Loan used to launch failed Shiite and Sunni Brothers Pork Breakfast Anytime Diner franchise

Written by Jeff Sawyer, Sawyer Speaks

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