At one point or another, unless you’re lucky, we’ve all gotten a haircut that we weren’t happy with. After all, getting a haircut is all about trust. You give instructions to a hairdresser or barber and then hope for the best as they take scissors and clippers and do irreversible things to your hair.
So while some of us have had a bad haircut or two, or possibly even had an awful haircut for years of our lives and people are either too nice to say anything or just enjoy laughing at us, they were probably never nearly as bad as the 10 haircuts listed here.
10. The Halo
We tried to find out the story behind this picture because we wanted to know if it was his intention to make his hair look like a halo. Sure, halos hang above people’s heads, and aren’t made of hair, but why else would someone shave a ring around their head like that? Is he trying to look like Friar Tuck, or something? Ironically enough, all we could find out about the picture was that it was actually a mug shot. Hopefully the halo helped him at his trial.
9. The Shocker
We wonder, is this guy always hot? No, we aren’t suggesting that he is metaphorically hot, we mean hot as in temperature because there must be a hole in the ozone layer from all the hairspray he used to keep his hair vertical.
Another question we have is, does he work? Besides being a hair model for a hairspray company, the hairdo doesn’t exactly seem employment-friendly. At the very least, wouldn’t that hair be a health and safety problem? Who knows how flammable his hair is. On the flip side, if he doesn’t work, then how would he afford the necessary hair products to keep his hair up like that? And how the hell can he actually fit in a car to get to work to begin with?
Also, this should be a lesson to clean the mirror if you’re going to take a selfie first, you never know who will see the picture.
8. Handlebar Mustache Hair
Floppy handlebar mustaches are found on bikers, truckers, hipsters, and for some reason, this guy’s forehead. Yes, this man, who otherwise seems to have a full head of hair, decided to cut his hair so that his bangs look like one of the most ridiculous kind of mustaches someone can grow. And since he’s already clearly got the ability to grow a regular mustache, he’s really doubling down on the Sam Elliott look.
What we also found truly strange about this guy, is why didn’t he just grow a floppy handlebar mustache under his nose? Our guess is that he probably didn’t want to look too ridiculous, like a hipster.
7. Hat
It is hard to even understand how this man came up with this idea. What was his inspiration? He didn’t like the ease of throwing on a baseball cap and decided to grow and style his hair to make it look like a hat instead? Imagine how awkward it would get if he went to a sports event and people tried to make him take off his hat during the singing of the national anthem.
Also, an important question is: what does he wear in the rain? Wouldn’t the “beak” wilt and cover his eyes? So now that someone has grown their hair to look like a hat, could we check that off the list of human achievements and move on to different styles, please?
6. Rat Tail
Like the mullet, the rat tail is a remnant of the ’80s and it got its unique name because it looks like an actual rat’s tail. Why anyone would want to grow something ratlike on their body is beyond us, but this shirtless fellow managed to step up the classy factor by shaving the hair on the back of his head to make it look like it’s an actual rat.
As a side note and as a bit of a public service announcement, supposedly rat tails are making a comeback? (Yes, Shia LaBeouf, we’re looking in your direction.) Well, we would like to address that problem right now. If someone you know has a rat tail and says that it’s cool, we hereby give you the right to give their rat tail a yank. Not too hard though, just hard enough to remind them that they have poor taste in hairstyles.
5. Gecko Tail
In the evolution of life on Earth, lizards came before rats, but in terms of ponytails, the gecko tail evolved from the rat tail. The amazing thing about this haircut is how much planning must have gone into it. The style uses up the whole head and even utilizes the corners of the hairline. Not to mention, the tail makes it look like he had been growing his hair for quite a while.
4. The Comb Over
Male pattern hair loss is something that affects 70 percent of men and 40 percent of women in their lifetime. So it is a perfectly natural thing to happen, it’s how someone handles the hair loss that is important. Embracing the loss of hair doesn’t detract from someone’s attractiveness and If you disagree with us, feel free to mention this to Jason Statham or Bruce Willis or Dwayne Johnson.
Nevertheless, by far, the worst way to handle hair loss is a comb over. It does the complete opposite of what the person is intending. It doesn’t fool anyone into thinking that the person isn’t bald and it only draws more attention to it. It’s like people who get cosmetic plastic surgery and instead of looking better, they just look like they had plastic surgery.
One of the worst examples of a comb over we could find is the picture above. This gentleman, who would have looked pretty respectable had he just had a trimmed bald head, will instead go down in the annals of the internet as a man with one of the worst comb overs ever. The biggest problem is that it doesn’t even cover his head. It looks horrible, and it still doesn’t even serve its intended purpose! But who knows, maybe the left side of the top of his head gets cold while the other side gets hot. If that’s the case, we hope it works because that is one hideous haircut.
3. The Grandfather of “Skillrex” Haircut
This young man was actually way ahead of his time. Haircuts where one side is buzzed has been popular for a few years now. That being said, whether you like that hairstyle or not, this is easily one of the worst versions of that style for a whole host of reasons. The big problem is that his left eye is completely covered in billowy hair. Secondly, while the buzzed side is popular, this guy has an ultra-close shave and this makes it look like that part of the scalp has been burned or scared or the hair pulled out because his hair is too wild for a large patch of shaven scalp.
However, if this young man actually only has one eye and for some reason can’t grow hair on that side of his head, then we admit, he’s rocking the haircut.
2. Louis Vuitton
This guy clearly had a lot of time to think about this hairstyle while it was being clipped. He would have had to sit there for at least an hour while the barber buzzed the pattern of a Louis Vuitton bag onto his head. Then, he would have had to sit while pieces of $100 bills were glued in place and then he would have had to wait for the glue to dry. Amazingly, this would have given him a long time to think about what a horrible decision he was making – and he still didn’t back out. Sure, we’ll admit it’s kind of clever. But what about when he’s walking around, won’t people at least attempt to yank the money off of his head? Flashing money, even if it is glued to your head, just sounds like an invitation to trouble.
Secondly, this haircut was probably the most expensive on the list. Not only would he have had to pay the barber’s fees, but it looks like a few $100 bills were used to glue on to his head. Of course, they may be fake hundreds, but that would have come across as tacky and if you’re gluing money onto your scalp that is shaved to look like a Louis Vuitton bag, the last thing you want is for it to come across as tacky.
In conclusion, this guy paid hundreds of dollars for his haircut, which probably invites people to yank at money that is glued to his scalp. Then again, he’s apparently got money instead of a brain.
1. The 3-in-1 Bad Haircut
This haircut is impressively bad simply because it is essentially three horrible haircuts on one head. First, there are the bangs, which one reddit user described as looking “like a lice comb”. Or was he simply inspired by the barber’s clippers? Then above those bangin’ bangs is the spiky bedhead. Finally, there are those impressive side bangs. That’s right, not sideburns, side bangs. The side bangs are actually the most troubling because they are long. It raises the question, did he cut his long hair down to that mess? Or did he just grow out the side bangs?
As a whole, the haircut makes it look like the young man is wearing a helmet from ancient Rome made from heavily gelled hair. What’s interesting is that those ancient Roman helmets were shiny with red feathers on top, and out of the two, this guy’s hair is unquestionably more ridiculous looking.
Robert Grimminck is a Canadian freelance writer. You can friend him on Facebook, follow him on Twitter, follow him on Pinterest or visit his website.
1 Comment
Smh.