Top 10 Most Hilarious Tweets from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

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Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a bona fide Twitter superstar, he’s bankrolled his stardom from both his wrestling and acting career into something quite magical. Being one of the few celebs out there to actively manage his own account. However, lost among the words of wisdom and Tweets to fans are some real gems. Here are the Top 10 tweets from The Rock.

10. “I sin.. but I’m not the devil. I’m good.. but I’m no angel.” #MyWeekendWithMarylin

marilyn-the-rock

The Rock loves to upload pictures of himself, being the size that he his it’s entirely possible that a camera simply got caught in his gravity a few years ago and has been taking pictures of him ever since. Although this is just a quote from Marilyn Monroe, which the Rock spelled wrong (but really, who’d tell him that) it’s the fact that it’s juxtaposed next to picture of him standing dapper as all hell in a suit in front of a picture of her. The weird thing is, Marilyn Monroe is considered one of the most beautiful women to have ever lived. Why does she look stoned in that portrait? The only explanation I or anyone should have to accept is that the Rock is actually so handsome paintings gets worse out of instinct so they don’t steal focus away from him.

9. In “Hollywood speak” this is “lining up the shot”. In “Rock speak” it’s “distract me & I’ll throw you into the sun”

lining-up-the-rock

Recently The Rock has been working on the set of The Fast and The furious 6, as such a lot of his Tweets have revolved around his on set antics, however there’s just something odd about seeing him stood completely seriously while threatening to throw someone into the sun. Now The Rock is a big guy, so the threat of him throwing you into the sun isn’t hyperbole; it’s a statement of fact. In that picture The Rock is wearing a black t-shirt and could throw you into the sun. So who the hell took that photo? When a guy with arms bigger than your head tells you not to distract him, the last thought to cross anyone’s mind would be, I better whip out my iPhone! Unless, my theory about floating cameras has actually got some truth to it.

8. As a kid: Sat AM was big bowl of cereal & cartoons. As a man: Bigger ass bowl of cereal & ESPN. #StillAKid

saturday-morning-the-rock

If you’ve ever used Twitter you’ll know that people absolutely love taking pictures of their food, and the Rock is no different. The only real difference is that when The Rock decides to eat something, he does so like a boss. Now as mentioned, The Rock sends all his own tweets, so it’s obvious the picture was taken by him, but it’s blurry. Which is where you think, wait, this guy must be a millionaire, he probably has a nuclear powered phone that shoot scorpions at people he doesn’t like, which is why the picture quality so low. Which is when you realize that every camera gets nervous in the grip of The Rock’s giant-man sized hands.

7. I’m your huckleberry.. #Movember #RockYourStache #GodBlessOutlawsLikeUs

huckleberry-the-rock

There’s nothing more to say here other than, here is a picture of The Rock, with a moustache/beard combo. Not just any moustache mind you, one that would make Colonel Sanders, Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds explode out of existence through sheer inadequacy.

6. Why I don’t get invited to weddings. My gift to all grooms. Wait til you see how I gift the Brides..;)

weddings-the-rock

The Rock is famous for his Rock Bottom manoeuvre, in which he’d pick you up and slam you down on the mat so hard your dad would clutch his groin in agony the moment flesh touched canvas. With that in mind, just imagine how the female version of this move would go down. There isn’t a page in the Kama Sutra for that because people back then didn’t think it was possible to suspend a woman in the air with sheer force of will.

5. SPOTTED! The White Lion & the 800lb Silverback Gorilla. We come in all sizes & colors ~ #TeamBringIt

bring-it-the-rock

The Rock always has time for his fans, mainly because he’s so large there’s an 80% chance he’s standing next to one at all times anyway. However of all the pictures The Rock has taken with his fans, this one wins on so many levels. First, just look at it, it’s amazing. If you set that as your desktop wallpaper and a girl you like walked past and saw it a tattoo of your future grand-kids would phase onto your arm. Secondly, it’s harder to tell whose more excited in that photo, The Rock, his fan or the Tesco executive who saw his sign in the background and realized that his brand was now synonymous with kicking ass. Speaking of which…

4. I actually created “Smackdown” in college. She left very happy. RT: @uberfacts: The Rock actually created the word “smackdown” in 1997.”

The Rock often responds to fans on Twitter. Once every now and again he sets aside time in his day to arrange Rock Talk, in which he’ll answer questions from fans. Why he’s yet to be sued by a radio station for use of that term is obvious: the second any phone they attempted to use realized that is was being used to threaten The Rock, it exploded. But here’s the thing, this Tweet doesn’t even mention The Rock. Sure it says his name, but for someone on Twitter to see that you’d have to put an @ in front of their name. This can only mean one of two things: either The Rock searched his own name, because like any real man, he follows no one on Twitter. Or, more likely, his ears, like the rest of his body, are so muscular then can tell whenever anyone, anywhere types about him.

3. London. Just landed. Insisted my two dates be waiting in my hotel.. Ms Rare & Ms Straight Up. #SatisfiedMan

dates-the-rock

Although this seems like a joke, you can just imagine the conversation immediately preceding it when The Rock’s PA called the hotel.

“Yes, Mr Johnson will need a steak waiting for him in his room”
“We can certainly do that, how does he take his steak?”
“Rare, no really, just cut that thing straight off the cow”
“Ok, anything else?”
“Tequila, straight, no glass.”
“Erm, are you sure, we mean, we can send up a glass in case he changes his mind.”
“No. Glass.”
“What about if we leave one outside the door?”
“Do you want me to put Mr Johnson on the phone?”
“No glass, got it. Bye”

2.  This is my reward for 150 consecutive days of eating clean.. #WorkHardAndEnjoyYourRewards

eating-clean-the-rock

This picture chronicles a single day in the life of the stomach of The Rock. As noted, this was how Dwayne rewarded himself for 150 days of eating nothing but healthy food. In case you’re wondering that’s 12 pancakes, 4 double dough pizzas and 21 brownies. Or as most of America would call it, “a goal to aim for”. And of course, The Rock won. Of course he did, this is a man who chases down cows on foot and takes a bite out of them when he needs protein, a man who shaves by punching himself in the face. Of course he can eat all that food.

1.  Just tryin’ to get Minnie’s attention. Again.. 😉 RT: @ajglad: The Rock’s most EPIC Disney photo ever!

disney-the-rock

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You probably saw this picture making rounds online a few months ago, The Rock on Splash Mountain. To most people it looks like The Rock is showing off or posing for the camera, however, after reading these other entries it’s probably more likely that The Rock simply never stops flexing. Ever. Presumably because somewhere in Heaven a Greek god is using his body as a template for a statue he’s carving.


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7 Comments

  1. The Rock isn’t my favourite wrestler (he can talk, but his “people’s elbow” as a finishing move is ridiculous), in fact I hate him almost as much as John Cena. Having said that, I’m a wrestling fan, so I found this list funny, because… wrestling. Yea. 😀

    “Who is your favourite wrestler, Sir Parus, if you don’t like The Rock or John Cena?”, you may ask. Well, thank you for asking, I will tell you: Antonio Cesaro. Close runner-ups: Dolph Ziggler, Leo Kruger, El Generico and Damien Sandow. You’re welcome. 🙂

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