Why Superman’s Disguise is way Smarter Than you Think

Superman is one of the worlds most famous and enduring Superheroes, and why wouldn’t he be? He’s got a body that looks like it’s been carved from titanium covered granite, a chin you could park a jet on and eyes so beautiful, staring into them is considered an effective cure for cancer. However, it’s for exactly this reason that has made Superman the butt of decades of jokes from people who don’t understand comics. How could this man, a man who is literally perfection personified, hide his identity with nothing more than a pair of glasses. Well, we’re sick of that joke so we wanted to explain how he does it. By slouching. Well that and a whole bunch of other stuff, but just for starters take a gander at this image.

We’d still hit that.

As you can see from the image, just by assuming a constant slouch, Clark Kent is already like 3 inches shorter than Superman, the slouch also disguises the fact that Superman is easily capable of murdering three people with his chest by making him seem much less muscular than he actually is. Then you have the hairstyle which is not only parted differently, but is also styled specifically to obscure Superman’s ruggedly handsome, man face. Then there’s the glasses he wears, which despite being the piece of the disguise people most love to pick on the most, are actually one of the most ingenious additions, since they’re actually tinted to change the colour of Superman’s eyes. Then on top of all this, Superman is also known to alter both his voice and mannerisms when disguised, becoming notable more clumsy and confident. As a final push to disguise the sculpted piece of Viagra coated marble he calls a body, he then drapes himself in clothes that are far too big.

The only reason we think Superman’s disguise is stupid is because we know that Clark Kent is Superman. To everyone else, Clark Kent is a bumbling dumb-ass with a stupid hair-cut, glasses and clothes, the latter of which don’t even fit his sagging, defeated frame. If you knew a guy that matched that description and someone said, hey, maybe he’s actually the 6ft 2 alien with god-like powers that goes around punching bald guys half to death, you’d laugh your ass off. So hey, maybe we should lay off the glasses huh? They are in style now after all.