Top 10 Lamest Batman Villains
Batman: The Dark Knight movie opens on Friday so we dedicate this list to The Dark Knight. Batman has some of the best villains of any superhero and some of the worst villains. The Joker made it to #2 on our list of best comic book villains, showing the popularity and ruthlessness of Batman’s arch nemesis. But hold the Batphone just one minute. Batman’s rogue gallery has its share of villains that he might not be to proud to mention when bragging to Superman. Here are the top 10 lamest and worst Batman villains of all time. So prepare yourself for the likes of Killer Moth and the “dangerous” Crazy Quilt.
10. Batzarro
1st Appearance: Superman #181 (April 2002)
Real Name: None
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Similar to Batman
Why He’s Lame: Like Bizarro (Superman’s evil doppleganger), Batzarro is a failed clone of Batman, with his symbol & utility belt upside-down. While a clone of a super-powered alien like Superman can work, a clone of Batman becomes groan-inducing lameness. At least he calls himself, “Batzarro, the world’s worst detective”.
9. Penguin
1st Appearance: Detective Comics #58 (December 1941)
Real Name: Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Genius criminal intellect, deadly ‘trick’ umbrellas, underworld connections, martial arts: Judo
Why He’s Lame: He fancies himself the “gentleman of crime”, and always looks ridiculous in his tuxedos and umbrellas. While he’s had moments of brilliance in his long-standing criminal career, ultimately there are far better similar characters in comics, namely Lex Luthor (DC, Criminal genius) and Kingpin (Marvel, Crime Lord).
8. Cluemaster
1st Appearance: Detective Comics #351 (May 1966)
Real Name: Arthur Brown
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Glass capsules attached to his costume that can hold a blinding flare, smoke bombs, paralyzing gas or explosives
Why He’s Lame: He failed as a game show host, he failed as a villain by his compulsory nature to always leave clues about his crimes. Unlike the Riddler, his clues were never riddles. To his credit, his crimes paved the way for his daughter Stephanie to become the Spoiler, to foil his crimes.
7. Humpty Dumpty
1st Appearance: Detective Comics #140 (October 1948)
Real Name: Humphry Dumpler
Superpowers: None
Abilities: None
Why He’s Lame: As his namesake suggests, he’s obsessed with putting things back together again… even if he has to take them apart to begin with. He even “dismantled” his abusive grandmother in an effort to fix her when he sewed her together again.
6. Firefly
1st Appearance: Detective Comics #184 (June 1952)
Real Name: Garfield Lynns
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Flight suit, flamethrower, grenade launchers, expert in pyrotechnics
Why He’s Lame: Firefly is a professional arsonist and pyromaniac. Once the protégé of the Killer Moth, their alliance fell apart when Killer Moth realized Firefly’s madness and feared for his life. If someone as lame as the Killer Moth (see below) dumps you, what does that make you?
5. Killer Moth
1st Appearance: Batman #63 (February 1951)
Real Name: Cameron van Cleer / Drury Walker
Superpowers: Originally none, later given the proportionate abilities of a moth: flight, sharp claws, sticky cocoon mucus
Abilities: Flight suit, incapacitating cocoon gun, razor-sonar waves
Why He’s Lame: Beyond the obvious costume, he was created as the anti-Batman, to aid super villains the same way Batman aids police & civilians, except for profit. He even had his own moth mobile, a moth signal, and a steel-line to swing around the city on.
4. Calendar Man
1st Appearance: Detective Comics #259 (September 1958)
Real Name: Julian Day
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Inventor
Why He’s Lame: After looking at his costume, do you really need to know more? He’s obsessed with dates and his crimes always have some correlation with the date on which they are committed. He was even recruited by another on our list, Killer Moth, to join a rag-tag group called The Misfits.
3. Ten-Eyed Man
1st Appearance: Batman #226 (November 1970)
Real Name: Philip Reardon
Superpowers: None
Abilities: 360 degree view, superb fighter and marksman
Why He’s Lame: A blind Vietnam War Veteran who had his optic nerves reattached to his fingertips. Batman repeatedly defeated him by making him catch or touch something with his super-sensitive fingertips.
2. Kite Man
1st Appearance: Batman #133 (August 1960)
Real Name: Charles “Chuck” Brown
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Flying kite suit, kite-based weapons
Why He’s Lame: As I’m sure you guessed, he flies by way of a kite strapped to his back, and uses kite-based weapons for his crimes. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Deathstroke threw him off the top of Wayne Tower without his kite. He somehow managed to survive that, only to be eaten by Bruno “Ugly” Mannheim.
1. Crazy Quilt
1st Appearance: Boy Commandos #15 (May-June 1946)
Real Name: Unknown
Superpowers: None
Abilities: Mind-controlling helmet
Why He’s Lame: A painter and master thief loses his sight and an experimental procedure gives him the ability to see blinding colors, driving him insane. He actually hates Robin more than Batman because Robin unintentionally made him blind again.
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14 Responses to “Top 10 Lamest Batman Villains”
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How about the Eraser? An old boyhood chum of Bruce Wayne, Jim Fiasco (nice name!), gets envious of Wayne, goes nuts and starts wearing a helmet shaped like the eraser end of a pencil. How lame is that?
Where is Clock King? He is certainly more useless than the Penguin. Granted, he was originally a Green Arrow villain, but he has made appearances in Batman’s non-comic book media.
This was a pretty funny list, thought I would vote to replace Penguin with someone like the Allergist or Clock King myself. Maybe you should make a list of “Batman villains who were lame enough to die on their first mission.”
Apparently adding the Penguin has ruffled some feathers (sorry, I couldn’t resist), but I hold to the fact he is a lame character. He is only #9, so he isn’t the most lame Batman villain.
C’mon, his weapon is an umbrella. An umbrella, people! And he smokes a filtered cigarette. And he wears a tuxedo all the time. He borders on choosing an alternative lifestyle, if you know what I mean.
“Not that there is anything wrong with that.”
I’m just wondering about your mention of Ten-Eyed Man. Wouldn’t the ability to see 360 degrees be considered a superpower?
No, this is an alternative lifestyle. Lols.
Sweet list. I like that you have the balls to include Penguin. Eff Tim Burton.
Thanks, Anthony. I already had visited that site earlier and made a comment. Great top 10 list.
I have to say that it’s an insult to Penguin fans around the globe to see him included in a list with the likes of Batzarro. Not every Batman villain has to be some lunatic who was disfigured by chemicals at some point in his life. Not every villain has to go around committing crimes due to some random psychotic obsession. It was refreshing to see a character who finally broke away from this pattern. The Penguin had the ability to make Batman act like this: http://video.aol.com/video-detail/batman-on-drugs/716178573
I’m not saying that the Penguin ISN’T useless. I’m just saying that maybe a few more villains are moreso.
And in defense of his umbrella, it’s a pretty great concealed weapon… unless you’re well-known for, y’know, VILLAINY or something like that.
Oh, wait.
Very funny! And I totally agree that Penguin is lame.
I dunno, read Joker’s Asylum: The Penguin by Jason Aaron, and you’ll see he’s a pretty great character.
Joker’s Asylum: The Penguin by Jason Aaron is a testament to Aaron, not the character. I agree that’s a superb story, but a great writer can make a great story about any character. Most of the time the Penguin is written pretty poorly.
And BTW, save your money, don’t buy the other Joker’s Asylum comics, the others are junk!
Some of the ones mentioned above, plus some others (ORCA!) were involved in a multi-part arc story in the full cast audio drama BATMAN: THE ACE OF DETECTIVES from Pendant Audio. http://www.pendantaudio.com/batman.php. Episodes 16 through 27. The Villain War!
You forgot to add The Riddler, Catwoman, and Man-Bat to this list…
Oh what the hell… go ahead and take Batzarro off because your opinion of him is wrong.