45 Responses

  1. JayStreete at |

    Well I have no dating experience so I can't really vouch for any of these. But I think I see the central problem, which is immaturity in the parties involved. Those who hype up dating to be more than what it is or expect more of it.

    Now I've never been asked on a date but I can guarantee that I will never do lots of these things because I've been able to mature as a person and learn who I am. I'm not going to try and be someone I'm not on a date. I talk a lot so the conversation one is….not necessary. I'll be leading the conversations. Hands down. Plus, I don't drink so…the buying drinks one is also impossible.

    Some of them I don't know if I'll do just because I don't have the experience to tell me. But I'll certainly keep them in mind. I am wary through because this list comes from one individual and you can never generalize one individual's opinions for the entire gender they try to represent.

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  2. Charlotte at |

    This is a pretty terrible set of rules. The best advice is honest and tested advice: just be yourself.

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    1. ChaoticDiva at |

      Ok, so I’m not the only one who found these rules to be sexist in the “women should be seen and not heard” kind of way.

      Playing by those rules means you’re playing some sort of game. I stay true to who I am, Miss Chatterbox who swears often and likes to eat, and guys are attracted to me plenty, just because I don’t put up a stupid facade.

      If they don’t like you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.

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      1. fragge at |

        Hahahahahaha, really? I don’t know how you missed the memo, but dating IS a game. If you want to hype it up to yourself as anything more, you’re going to irritate a lot of future dates (I personally can’t stand girls with expectations of how a date should be – grow the up). Not that I particularly care – its merely advice for avoiding future derision in the dating world.

        As for “I stay true to who I am, Miss Chatterbox who swears often and likes to eat, and guys are attracted to me plenty” – as a young (early 20s), highly social man, I can tell you right now that 8 times out of 10, those guys aren’t attracted to you because you “don’t put up a stupid facade” but because you aren’t playing The Game, and are thus targetted as “easy”. You’ve never heard the conversations that go on between us men about girls like you, and if you have, you’ve dismissed the subject of said conversation as deserving said title. It seems that you just notice attention from guys and link it to how “real” you are.

        If you were between (roughly, this isn’t a science) 15 and 28, in Australia, you would be called a “ganga” by a vast majority of guys. The word itself implies that you’d be down for a gangbang, but in reality gangas are just bogan b****** that try so hard not to be fake that they come across as easy (not discerning about manners/etiquette), damaged goods that need repairing. Above that age bracket, you cross the line into desperate, lost-old-b****territory (we don’t have a shorthand for that).

        Also, this whole “don’t play to the stereotype of a woman” thing is itself a type of game (from your perspective) as you try to convince a man that you aren’t some other “fake” chick. The only guys that care are equally as unoriginal as you. So in that sense, your system works? Don’t know how many girls would list “boring, plain, likes that I eat a lot” as positive attributes in a potential mate.. keep giving that great dating advice though, you’re clearly more knowledgeable than another random girl on the net – you’ve made that VERY clear ;<

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        1. niarin at |

          the tongue is a deadly thing spreading fires were ever it is directed and controls the owner of the tongue’s destiny. so keep in mind that fires can easily get out of control and burn the person playing with it.

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      2. drumchick at |

        Personally i do think some of these rules are right…..ive seen many of my friends get hurt because they were jumping to conclusions too quickly. A guy can sense when a girl is being too excited about the “relationship. He can also realise when she is way too into him. Yes he may be considerring her after the first date, but once she gets way to into him, its a turn off. A man wants a woman who is independant and doesnt watch her phone so that when she picks up it only rang once. It scares them off right away.

        Im not saying all women are like that, im not, just some girls dont think before they act, or dont realise they are moving too quickly in their hearts, and get really hurt.

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        1. Jtenor at |

          Jumping to conclusions can lead to disappointment for both sexes. I know this all to well, so I do my best to not make assumptions about anything. Of course no 1′s perfect, so I do slip up sometimes. As for being to excited, there’s always 1 person out of the 2, that values the potential relationship more than the other. Most people enjoy the challenge of winning someone over, so when a person to easy, the other person might lose interest. It scares people off, because we’ve all been hurt, so we all approach new relationships cautiously. Of course if you’re both on the same page, it could work out, but that’s rare. There’s a balance to it all, & it can be tricky. That’s why I also agree with dating 1 person @ a time. It’s not that you’re committed to that person, but it’s just no fun to be in a bizarre love triangle. Btw, your screen name suggests that you might play the drums. If by chance you do, & you live in San Diego, I’m actually looking for 1.

          Reply
  3. Jen at |

    Was this written by a 12 year old? Don't wear clothes that don't look good on you? Don't become obsessed with a guy after one date? Don't talk about boring things on a date? Wow! What helpful advice! What about picking your nose and farting? Is that attractive to a man? Please add that as # 11. What about asking how much money he makes? Or comparing him to your ex?

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  4. Alanna at |

    …has the author of this article ever BEEN on a date? Or spoken to an actual woman? Sounds to me like a compendium of all the stereotypical "female" behavior that has been popping up in truly horrendous chick flicks of late.

    D-. Try harder.

    PS: Acting like women who spend their Saturday nights with girlfriends are sad, lonely harpies who MUST be single? Ridiculous. The idea that single girlfriends might not have ALWAYS been single, and thus have valuable advice to offer? Completely valid.

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  5. dacournean at |

    Interesting!

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  6. Casieopea at |

    um, this sucked. The biggest mistake a person can make while on a date is to try to be someone else – try to be too funny, too interesting or simply someone you are not.

    If it doesnt work out…it doesnt work out.

    this stuff was a crock!

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  7. Tera at |

    This is a ridiculous list. I feel like the author is still in college if not high school.

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  8. Josh at |

    Wow, I don't get all the animosity from these comments. I'm male and a father of a 19 year-old daughter and I thing this is solid advice. Thanks for writing this, Ash.

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    1. ChaoticDiva at |

      Uh, because you’re a male. If you can’t live it, you can’t relate.

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  9. Jasmine at |

    Terrible list with useless "advice". Also, it would have been better if each piece of advice was written in the title of each bullet.

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    1. TopTenz Master at |

      Jasmine, sorry this list wasn't too your liking. I did correct the list so it displays like the other top 10 lists.

      I'm very surprised about the negative reactions. I did debate adding this list and had it for months and finally decided to let it out. All the lists can't be winners, but hopefully a few people found it interesting. I'll be sure to learn from this and keep the lists away from advice in the future.

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      1. Pepperman at |

        I took the list to be purely humorous rather than advice. In that regard, it's a perfect list. As "real" advice, not so much.

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      2. Jacq at |

        Hey- this was a great article. All anyone can do is try in the dating world. Don’t listen to all the negative advice. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to read it. You did a great job – and maybe the advice isn’t for everyone but not everyone is the same. Keep up the good work and ignore all the nasty comments from readers who just enjoy making other people feel bad for even having the guts to put their writing out there.

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  10. SEO Melbourne at |

    I agree with what someone said said up above, the best thing to do is be yourself.

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  11. Renee at |

    Could be me but I think the venom in the above responses could be coming from gals who have dated for far too long….very telling.

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  12. Jen at |

    What does that mean, "Gals who have dated for far too long"? How long is too long to date?

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    1. Julia at |

      Long enough to be bitter, think you know it all, that this list was made for you, and not people who perhaps have not crashed and burned as much as I’m guessing you, and the other negative posters have. Ya’ll ought to think about some posting some positive, helpful feedback, some constructive criticism, because all these negative nancy useless attacking posts toward the authour are hateful, hurtful, and a waste of time.

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      1. Christer at |

        @Julia:
        Word !! : )

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  13. AD2 at |

    Interesting list…however, number 2 on this list should not be here. This list is titled 10 thihngs girls do wrong WHEN dating.

    The number 2 is on this list is BEFORE the actual date…

    LMAO IT AMUSES ME :)

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  14. Pepperman at |

    ROFL! Haha, I thought the list was hilarious. I think some people are taking this one too seriously.

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  15. Keith at |

    My gf recently accepted a gift from another boy…how do i handle this?

    Reply
    1. drumchick at |

      Well, was he a long time friend or recent? And what did the gift mean?

      Reply
  16. sarah at |

    who wrote this garbage?

    "Really, do you think that you’ll find your dream man at the mall, the grocery store, or the local town festival? I’d say no, but I guess it’s all personal opinion"

    haha so you can't meet your dream guy in public right? where do you suppose women should meet them then?

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  17. Jennifer at |

    Good job! Sometimes, the best advise is the most seemingly most obvious advise.

    And trust me, when you’re trying to impress someone or you really like someone, these common sense, DUHH statements, totally go out the window. Why do you think there are so many relationship advise books? In those books, there are no secret formula that no one knows about.

    Have YOU haters ever been on a date? If you have with a girl or guy you really like, you’ll know that you rely much more on emotions than logic at that point.

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  18. billy at |

    Some of the above are true, and judging by the comments, some ladies just don't like taking advice, hence their interest in the story. I have some advice; Try being an asset to the relationship, not a dependent. Guys take on a world of responsibility as the "modern cultural" head of a family, be a partner and not a liability to the relationship. The sooner the guy senses this, the better off you will be. Looks and perfect manners aren't everything.

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  19. em at |

    This may not be magical – but it def is the most grounded, reasonable advice I have come across in a long time

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  20. Zanreo at |

    "To girls, dating might be one of the most important things. Some women seem to date more than they sleep."
    BS!

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  21. Dario Western at |

    OK, here’s my $20 on this article. Some of it I agree with the author and others I don’t, but I wouldn’t write it off as total BS like some other posters have.

    10. Honesty is the Best Policy

    I don’t think so, it is the ONLY policy. Speak your mind, tell him outright if you think you are the one for him and vice versa. And be communicative above all. Nothing is a worst date killer than women who arrive “fashionably” late, or not at all and don’t call. Subtlety is useless in romance. If you have no intention of dating a guy or going on further dates, then don’t tag him along.

    9. Date One Guy At A Time

    Yes and no. In this day and age women have far more freedom than they did in the stuffy old 1940s and 1950s. It’s like doing testing for food – try a whole array of them before deciding which one you think is best. And competition has always been an inherent part of our human nature.

    8. Only Trust Reliable Sources For Advice.

    Gossip is a sinful and disgusting activity regardless of whether between girls or guys. What it does is give you a skewed paradigm of the guy before you’ve even gone out with him to suss out what he’s really like. Never rely on second hand information – go with your own personal experience. If your friends say he’s a jerk and he turns out to be really nice to you during dates, then you’re better off forsaking them for your dream guy. The only ‘reliable’ sources you can go for is your gut, and maybe the local police if he seems to be a bit suspect. Having been the victim of slander and gossip myself, I know how much this can really hurt a guy’s reputation regardless on what level it’s on.

    7. Stay Sober

    Definitely! Drunken guys are bad enough, but a drunken woman is even worse. NEVER let yourself be caught off guard regardless of whether having alcohol on a date or at a party. See my YouTube channel at ‘fatpizzaman’ about the dangers of date rape which is what happens when a guy gets a girl drunk during dates. Keep your dignity and your pants on if you want him to respect you.

    6. Dress Appropriately

    If the guy you are dating is a nudist and wants to take you to a nudist beach or a resort, then he wouldn’t really care about what you wear for those dates. I am one myself, but in textile environments I’d still want my date to look good and present herself nicely. Nothing’s worse than girls and women who dress like slobs or wear clothes that are not becoming to their body shape and size. For instance if you have a pear-shaped body then don’t wear midriff baring t-shirts, or shoulder pads in your shirt (they are sooooo 80′s yuppie!).

    5. Be Conversational, But Keep It Interesting

    Yes. Nothing bores me more than a woman who goes on about how hot Brad Pitt is or what last night’s episode of “Greys Anatomy” or “Sex & The City” was about. If you want to impress a guy you have to have interests that make you stand out from the rest of the girls. I’d rather date a girl who finds science-fiction and what’s on the ABC and SBS to be more interesting than what the sheeple follow. be unique! On other other hand, don’t spill out all your knowledge or become convalascent because that is a turnoff for guys. Not that they don’t like educated women, but they are on a date – not in a uni lecture.

    4. Don’t Jump Ahead

    Remember, don’t ever assume anything as you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. Once again, get the points into the open and enjoy the impetus as it comes. Living too much in the future is just as bad as living in the past.

    3. Don’t Become Infatuated

    Unless the guy you dates really reciprocates the love you feel for him. And don’t bore your girlfriends with everything about him. In short, he’s your business – not theirs. See above about gossiping as well. My last girlfriend was totally infatuated with me and I found it rather uncomfortable and smothering, especially when I came to realise that I was never really in love with her in the first place even though I met her in the ideal environment for dating.

    2. Know Where To Find A Date

    Forget about nightclubs, pubs, taverns, lonely hearts ads, dating agencies, and most important of all: the workplace. You’ll never find the right guy for you in those places. Nightclubs are mostly for the desparate more than dateless who have their loneliness upholstered to you with edges of desparation.
    With lonely hearts ads in the paper, and on dating sites and agencies: if you think that any guy who has to lower himself to advertise his availability cannot possibly reject you, you’re wrong. Lonely hearts ads are most often guys who have never learned to say ‘hello’ to a woman with conviction. If you go with a guy whom you meet through a lonely hearts ad or a dating agency, you will most often enter a world populated by the congenitally untouchable, the ugly, the chronically cruel and the scabious. Don’t think that love will change an undesirable guy – I tried that with a woman who was mentally ill whom I fancied and it brought me more losses than gains. If no other dating technique works for you, then give these guys a go as a last resort. Just don’t tell anyone about it later on if the relationship goes to pot.
    At work: work is work, not a playground. We are constantly told over and over again not to mess with co-workers or people you meet in business environments and for good reason: once the dating game is over than so often is your job. Even if both of you succeed in ignoring it then your peers at work won’t. Office gossip and bullying and the road to sexual harassment hell is paved with ill intentions.

    1. Be Patient

    For sure! Love is not a game of footy and does not move at the same speeds for everyone. For some it can take up to three dates for the parties to be at each with each other. For others it can take months. But ultimately you are aiming for a relationship and communication is the key to knowing where you stand with a guy. Set deadlines for the relationship progress, but don’t tell him. ;-)

    Reply
  22. Guy25 at |

    You forgot to mention too much texting. I know right away if I could keep a woman or not for a long time, if one of the first couple moments she just starts texting, especially when you are out eating. I don’t mind
    once in a while, if she is using it like a computer, especially if its been a while. It is sad how 15 years ago there was almost
    no texting, and they expect us to buy into a lot of this, now sites are saying how to keep a girl with texting. In what I fantasize about having a good woman, is a
    woman with some culture, thats my fantasy at least, my fantasy is not having some chick yacking away on
    her cellphone. What about some claims about cellphone radiation? I realize some guys don’t mind, and are also the ones texting, I think some of it is due to nervousness. This is just my opinion. I think there should be a respect for some moments.

    Also this is just for a good laugh, is anyone else getting
    tired of sitting down to a nice meal, and having some random person stick a camera in your face which just happens to be attached to a cellphone, wondering if you are being recorded or not. I’ve
    notice some people don’t have a care in the world, like the people posing at the coffee shops, and
    that I have seen some that do.

    I’ve even noticed other peoples reactions when this happens, it is kind of funny. Just to let you in on something, that most people go totally unaware of. The NSA gets to spy on people, which can activate their cellphone mic and web camera, thinking how my date is just a walking bug for the NSA and doesn’t even realize it.

    Here is the proof that your date may be a walking bug for the NSA, or even some Chinese security agency.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjEA9gEEfpU

    But I bet some of you are too “normal” to even think about wild stuff like that.

    Reply
  23. Guy25 at |

    1 more thing. I am for freedom of public photography, I think its alright when family goes out and takes photos at a restaurant, or even other people doing it. It just becomes something else when you have someone pointing a camera at you while eating, mainly 15 years ago if you wanted to do something like that, you almost would just have to carry around a big camera. It makes me wonder, if they intentionally put cameras on cellphones, just so that big brother can watch what is happening.
    Such as they can get the cellphones GPS, and other cellphones around the area, then activate the
    mic and camera on it, just like a laptop. Let us say there was a hostage situation, they could do that.
    Now I see more and more, some corporate piece of machinery, where ” Big Brother could be watching”. Yet then again this is probably too far out for some to even imagine. So freedom for
    public photography, yet its kind of creepy thinking that your mic and camera could be being activated by someone else on your laptop or phone. To where even if that person is not recording, someone else could be…. mwahahaha

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  24. Nancy at |

    If the guy i’ve been dating for 2 years ina half , is going out of town with a friend that’s a girl, am i wrong for feeling uncomfortable with the situation.

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  25. Mo at |

    I think single women need to stop over thinking on the first date. A lot of women want this flawless first date, wants the first date to be absolutely perfect, wants the guy to have this absolutely perfect conversation and wants her man to not be nervous. Ugh so doesn’t work that way… Both men and women get nervous it’s just natural and dating takes TIME yes for the most part more than ONE DATE!! So many women these days want this magical first date and want to instantly tell if he’s the one or if he’s immediately dating material. For eff sakes quit it with the enormous amount of pressure especially on the first date. It’s no wonder a lot of women go home banging their heads against the wall because they have WAY to high of expectations and a lot of men throw their hands up and say screw it she’s not worth it if she has this huge enormous first date expectations. Women have to let up a lot on their expectations and then the first dates and beyond will go a lot smoother!!

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  26. AnonymousSam at |

    Seriously though, I am fifteen years old and have never even been out on a date, yet I found this list kind of ridiculous. Honestly, I cannot see any of this “advice” being apart from the obvious. I mean, come on, “don’t wear clothes that look bad on you” “always try your clothes on before you buy them because mannequins sometimes have a different body tiype than you. Or a more interesting face. Seriously.” I don’t want to simply nag on how unsatisfactory this article was (in my personal opinion), but I think it would be better for our society’s general health if people like this author stopped cementing stereotypes and started realizing truth’s like the fact that most women don’t need to be told to “not freak out if a guy doesn’t call you within an hour of getting your number. Even four!”. I will not be perfect when I start dating, but the fact that, even now, I find that these tips make me feel like the author thinks I am dumb because of their obviousness is just plain silly. To be a little less on the negative side against the author and looking inward a little, I will say that perhaps a better one would be “Don’t be too critical” because based on these comments, that is much more relevant.

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  27. TJ76 at |

    So, if these are the top 10 mistakes a woman makes, what are the top 10 mistakes a man makes on a date?

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  28. Maria at |

    what a load of rubbish. everything in this article is either obvious (“don’t be boring”, “don’t wear clothes that look bad”) or obviously nonsense (“girls with boyfriends don’t see their friends at weekends” – wtf?! – and “don’t see more than one man at once” – monogamy ain’t compulsory, thanks).

    you have some weird ideas about how relationships work, and an enormously over-inflated opinion of your own dating wisdom. you have nothing of any use to say. i think the last sentence of entry #8 sums it up nicely.

    Reply
  29. Natalie at |

    yea, this has to be THE dumbest set of rules… seriously, this seems to have been written by a inexperienced women who was born in 1502…. my goodness!

    if you’re 12 and under, maybe even 17 and under sure you can listen to some of these rules, but most of them are suuuuuper basic and silly.

    Reply
  30. kelly at |

    I have to say, that the dating advice is elementary here. We have someting called human nature, and personality. I am not a robot, or a pet puppy. I will rely on my own sense of reality to give me the answers i need. These are numbskull answers to dating, and do you really feel you need to talk down to people with these simpleton guidelines to the 7th grade dance.

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  31. Genevieve at |

    Wow, very surprised over the negative comments. Great advice in my opinion.

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    1. TopTenz Master at |

      Most people, men included, don’t like to be told the right thing to do, especially when they don’t want to do it. You can lead a horse…

      Reply
  32. Kit at |

    This is great advice and if it’s so obvious (as everyone is saying) then why do so many people make these mistakes?!

    Reply

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