Dahir Insaat is a company headquartered in Istanbul, Turkey founded by Dahir Semenov. Their products and service designs include medical equipment, designing futuristic retail outlets and restaurants, designing new homes and cityscapes, creating weapon designs, city planning, inventing new forms of construction material, and designing new safety furniture. To date, Semenov’s main achievements are in construction, and apparently that has gone to his head and left him confident enough to pitch some… dubious new inventions and designs.
Looking over their proposals feels like looking at ludicrous vintage illustrations of what the future would look like during America’s technologically giddy 1950s. In that light it’s almost endearing to think how optimistic a company would have to be to believe such whimsical innovations would fly. It reflects the progress being made in the developing world. Also, despite how silly their ideas are Dahir Insaat produces well-animated videos from the animation studio Alconost to sell investors on their goods and services. So it’s no wonder that many of them have gone viral on Facebook and YouTube.
10. Transformer Mobile Homes
You’ve likely seen prefabricated two-story houses being hauled on truck beds. You’ve definitely seen trailer homes. Dahir Insaat decided to take this concept in a more science fiction-worthy direction and create demos of homes that can be transported on eighteen wheeler flatbeds and which fold out into relatively high end houses, such as Dutch Colonials.
Let’s set aside how tacky the artificial materials that must go into these houses must be. Let’s also set aside that all the hydraulics used to fold and unfold the walls are missing, and how bad the plumbing would be in these buildings unless you uninstalled and reinstalled it every time you moved. The most amusing bit of design is the house that has a single balcony that’s not accessible except by ladder.
9. Underground Parcel Delivery
Dahir Insaat went completely the other way for mail delivery. Their proposal is a series of underground conveyor belts for new communities. There would also be underground sensors to see if there are any conveyor belt clogs despite the standardized package size and platforms to raise up the parcel. All this to remove the inconvenience (?) of having items delivered to homes by a postal service.
Never mind the tremendous cost that would come with an underground conveyor system strong enough to carry parcels. Just imagine the maintenance involved with that machinery, and that you would have to make the tunnels large enough for a human to stand in them to fix the machines. At the end of the video, the narrator even says “it sounds implausible today.”
8. Copter Cruises
Have you ever thought that you wanted to go for a cruise or ride on a monorail, but you wanted it slower, louder, with a worse view, and be more dangerous? Well the good people at Dahir Insaat have your back. In January 2015, Dahir Insaat released this video of the world’s weirdest way to travel to an audience that expanded to millions.
Whatever your opinion of mass transit by hovercraft, the fact it’s tethered to the ground is truly bewildering. It means it has all the drawbacks of traveling like a train, with the added ability to crash, and increased energy consumption. Why tether it, anyway? Does Dahir Insaat think every pilot in the world is so incompetent that without being tied to the ground they’ll just get lost or crash? Despite being composed about 60% of rotor blades, Dahir Insaat wants to claim that this isn’t just a regular transport vehicle. It’s a luxury vehicle that people can have drinks and have idle chit chat in, despite four incredibly loud engines.
7. Copter Shipments
Since there are already helicopters powerful enough to haul commercial airliners, Dahir Insaat also decided that an immense, four-bladed helicopter would be great for hauling freight. Unfortunately for them, their method also requires tethering like the previous invention, and this time they wanted the copter to stay over a regular highway where it can be extra deafening for passing traffic and seem extra dangerous.
This immense hauling operation involves not only the immense copter to carry the freight (which doesn’t look very heavy, because the color and texture make it look like plastic) but two freight trucks to carry the motors to keep the copter functioning. It requires two so that one can be disconnected while the copter has to fly over a bridge so that one can always be attached as the three vehicles deal with an overpass. Why the copter is supposed to be fit for hauling freight when it apparently can’t carry its own power generators when doing so is a mystery.
It is true to life that existing quadcopter designs are not very powerful: only in 2016 was one released that was capable of lifting a human being at all. But what’s more perplexing is that in their own demo, they show that the system is so slow and inconvenient that the highway apparently needs to be shut down and a police escort provided. Not something that would need to be done if the freight were simply hauled on multiple vehicles after being disassembled.
6. Drive-Thru Markets
A common mistake aspiring inventors make is to add steps and complications to a process that are counterproductive in the pursuit of innovation. This form of supermarket patented by Dahir Semenov in January 2015 is a textbook example of this, or it would be if it weren’t practically a curio. It’s a store with drive-thru areas where a customer scrolls through two vertically revolving sets of shelves. This makes the process more uncomfortable, means a lot of the customer’s time will be spent scanning through vertical shelves (imagine how much more expensive that would be than aisles of simple shelves to install and operate) and how much more expensive it would be to refrigerate those vertical shelves. Although in the demo video, refrigeration is not addressed at all.
Curiously, while showing the restocking area, the video shows sorted objects in neat rows before they get taken to the individual rotating shelves. But then it shows them being roughly dropped onto a conveyor belt where they get mixed together, leaving the employees to sort them again before placing them on the shelves. By this point, though, in a way it feels appropriate.
5. Airdrop Tube Artillery
Tube artillery may sound like an overly flippant way to describe this weapon design, but when you see it in action it’s quite accurate. The demo video shows these tubes being dropped from an old-fashioned looking bomber in the path of a battalion of tanks. The deployment system requires self-activating parachutes to allow a more gentle landing. After the tubes land and embed themselves in the soil, they pop out of the ground, open up in the middle, and second tubes fall out. These apparently have missiles in them, and though they may look extremely small and the tubes simply falling at a ninety degree angle doesn’t seem ideal for aiming (it certainly requires ideal soil conditions for anything like the intended aim) the tubes decimate the oncoming tanks.
What’s not explained about this is why a country that has the technology to create tiny missiles able to destroy tanks and sufficient air power to drop the rods would want to rely on ground fire when a longer range bombardment, or just the bomber itself, seems like it could easily destroy the somewhat archaic method of ground attack anyway.
If you feel that this is Dahir Insat overselling the destructive potential of their weapons in this video, you haven’t seen anything yet!
4. Prefab Restaurants
You wouldn’t think that fine dining and automation are two concepts that would go well together. Higher end sit down restaurants are about class, refinement, and sophistication, while mechanical arms are about cold efficiency. Dahir Insaat still created a demo video where meals are served by having pre-assembled trays of food rolled over drop points on the floor above. Setting aside the cost of installing the numerous conveyor belts and mechanical arms (and good luck if you’re expecting the customers to give tips to machines as a way to cover an expense that they traditionally did when they were dealing with humans), the fact the food is apparently all warmed up the same amount in advance and served in little compartments makes it difficult to shake the thought that the customer has basically been served a very large TV dinner.
Curiously, the restaurant still employs a serving staff that have to also bus their own tables. The only aspect of the process that all that automation saves is delivering the food to the table. On top of that, this isn’t really touched on in the video, but can you imagine how loud those arms would be? Consider how loud this man’s prosthetic limb is, multiply that noise many times over in volume, and have it happen almost constantly around the restaurant, a vast open space with nothing to dampen the sound. Consider how intimidating it would be at first to have an immense metallic arm descend from the ceiling to deliver food. People will need to be much, much more comfortable with large hydraulics than they are before that wouldn’t make many customers very uncomfortable to eat there.
3. Circular Cities
Have you ever noticed how the majority of cities are are basically collections of rectangular areas? Well, Dahir Insaat has created a large number of plans for circular cities (referred to as “Turnkey Cities”) using prefabricated buildings for communities of around 200,000. What’s wrong with curved roads is that at the speeds required for emergency vehicles, they make it especially easy to lose control of the vehicle. Visibility is also decreased for all drivers, meaning this city is likely going to be much less safe to drive in than most.
The circular patterns also mean the wasting of large areas of space, and while all that green may be nice to look at, surely the landlords housing some of those 200,000 people will want a bit more space for rooms.
2. Safe Beds
This is likely the most widely mocked invention patented for Dahir Insaat. A lot of that comes from how the animation shows the invention working very quickly and giving it more of a slapstick element. It was also pointed out a lot that this device is similar to a 2010 model patented by an inventor from China. But none of that is to say it’s not a deeply flawed device, which raises a lot of questions not addressed in the demo.
The idea is that if the beds seismometers detect an Earthquake (a particular problem in Dahir Insaat’s home country, Turkey) the bed will automatically slide open a compartment for the sleeper to drop into, and a lid will slam down over them like a very compact panic room. Nothing is said about how the person on the bed is supposed to get back out if there’s a false positive or even if there really was an earthquake the bed protected you from.
We see supplies like bottles of water under the mattress but since there’s barely room to lift your head and a mattress in the way, it wouldn’t really be accessible. It’s also missing a way to discard human waste, which if you’re expecting to stay in there long enough to need water supplies will undoubtedly become an issue. It’s definitely an idea that needed some more time in the think tank before it got sent to the animation studio.
1. Copter Combat Systems
It’s probably the most infamous video Dahir Insaat ever released. An immense, four-bladed copter is smuggled near military bases with vast arrays of fighters and bombers, or even an aircraft carrier. After slowly assembling its blades it becomes airborne and its immense revolving gun devastates its massive targets so thoroughly there’s scarcely a shot fired back.
It isn’t so much that the rate of fire for a weapon powerful enough to destroy a tank at a huge range would be much lower than they present here, but in one of their own other demos this copter design wasn’t powerful enough to haul both freight and its own power supply, so stable fire with a gun like that is simply ludicrous. The real question here is: why would the system use a stationary, floating machine artillery piece, when raising it into the air would primarily serve to make it an easier target? Surely an array of missile launchers could perform the same task from the ground without the slow assembly process, and would be just as easy to smuggle within range of the enemy target.
This is especially true when it comes to the scenes where the quadcopter fires missiles on an aircraft carrier. But then, really, like many of the Dahir Insaat inventions, it seems to be more about looking impressive than functioning well.
Adam and Dustin Koski wrote Forust: A Tale of Magic Gone Wrong, a book about fairies turning into monsters that’s still less fantastical than most of these inventions.