Lord Timothy Dexter: Putting the Fun in Funeral

The definition of swag.

The definition of swag.

Lord Timothy Dexter is noted as one of the more eccentric beings in human history, his many quirks involve napping in his silk lined coffin when he was bored, writing a book with no punctuation and building a giant statue of himself in his garden proclaiming himself as the greatest philosopher in the world.

He also literally couldn’t lose money, being both rich and gullible, Dexter happily made any investment people advised him to, for example sending coal to Newcastle (a coal mining town) a venture which just so happened to coincide with a massive coal shortage.

However, Dexter’s finest moment was when he decided to see how many people liked him, which he accomplished by faking his own death. Thousands of people from miles around attended the funeral, however, Dexter felt that his wife didn’t show enough grief for someone as awesome as himself dying, so he had her beaten with sticks to show her what a great husband he was.

Today we call this, Chris Brown-ing.


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