Being a victim of crime is more often than not a traumatic ordeal for the person on the receiving end. However, some people swallow up that trauma and channel it into nut-punching the criminal right where it hurts. Which is what Danny Lesh did when some dumb-ass tried to steal his bike.
When Danny got a call from a friend he’d lent his $600 dollar bike to saying it had been stolen, he realised that there was only one thing he could do. Go on Craigslist and buy another one while the police tried to find the thief. However, while browsing for a new bike Danny happened upon one that looked exactly like his old bike. After consulting his thighs, which let out a high-pitched squeal when he rubbed the monitor on them, Danny had his answer and quickly called the police. Which is when Danny was told that the police couldn’t arrest the thief right away, even though he was advertising his location on the freaking internet and Danny really needed his bike back. Which is when Danny decided to simply steal the bike back.
After contacting the thief about “buying” the bike and arranging a time to meet, Danny was quick to insist upon a test ride as soon as the two came face to face. The thief. having no reason to expect that someone would steal a $600 dollar bike when he was selling it at such a reasonable price, told Danny to go right ahead. Which is when Danny climbed onto the bike and rode home. But here’s the best part, the thief, rather than cutting his losses, actually called Danny to threaten him, claiming he was going to call the police and have him arrested for theft. A conversation we presume Danny let his middle finger handle before popping a sick wheelie. When the police finally got involved, they chided Danny on his choice to do their job for them. Or they would have if Danny hadn’t already solved all the crime in the world under his new mantle of the Bike-man.
