The Awful Truth About Dating Profile Pictures


Online dating is very common these days, it’s claimed that a significant percentage of all relationships now start online, how many of those are people clicking on Emma Stone’s Twitter feed and claiming that she will one day be theirs isn’t clear, but we’ll assume it isn’t enough to throw off the results. When it comes to online dating, possibly the biggest decision you have to make is which photo you should choose as your profile picture, which image of yourself you feel best sells you to a prospective mate. Well OKCupid studied thousands of their member’s pictures and found out some depressing facts for you to mull over before you choose.

We honestly can't comprehend how half of these people are single.

All of their members being wildly more attractive than you will ever be wasn’t one of them.

The image above comes from an internal, OKCupid study on member’s profile pictures. In it they analysed every aspect of a member’s photo and ranked it along with how many responses and dates that member got, then shoved all of the results onto a bunch of graphs, because graphs are awesome.  The results basically sum up everything people hate about other people on the internet. If you’re a guy, according to the results, the best way to attract a female is to have a photo involving the one of the following.

  • You not looking at the camera while looking moody and mysterious or like you can’t decide if you can trust that last fart. (Just like everyone you hate on Facebook)
  • A picture of yourself with your shirt off (if you have abs) depending on how nice your abs are, you don’t even need a picture of your face, because women.
  • You not wearing a suit, especially a nice one, a suit is almost always more likely to turn off a woman than not wearing a shirt at all. Regardless of your ab level.

For women the results aren’t much better, for all the ladies out there, you’ll get the best results if you:

  • Show off your t-shirt candy. Showing off cleavage almost always results in more responses. Regardless of age.
  • Take photos like you’re on Myspace, regardless of how much people make fun of it, the results consistently show that taking photos like a 15 year old girl with crippling self-esteem issues will net you more male attention.
  • Take a photo with an animal. Posing with your cat like every douche on Instagram will get your more replies than almost any other kind of picture.

Basically, for everyone out there wanting to get into online dating to escape all the buttholes they deal with on a daily basis, you’ll probably have to become that butthole to get any responses in the first place.


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