Boxing, AKA, throwing a balled fist at another human being’s face until they look like you stabbed a photo with lipstick, is a very old sport. So old in fact all of the coolest and most awesome nicknames were taken hundreds of years ago, seriously. Think David Hay-maker Haye or Iron Mike Tyson is a cool nickname? Well just wait until we blow you mind and introduce you to, George “Old Chocolate” Godfrey.
But it isn’t just George’s nickname that is ball shatteringly awesome, his entire life-story reads like the gritty reboot to Afro Samurai if it was going to be set in a time where people used punches instead of swords. George, along with literally being born in a bog in a deprived black neighborhood in which his father was arrested for stealing a cow, was taught to box by a guy called “Professor Bailey”, how freaking cool is that? After learning the best way to shatter a man’s eye socket, George effortlessly punched his way to the top of the coloured boxing leagues, since back then people were funny like that. However, Old Chocolate was a man who saw deep routed societal racism as nothing more than a speed-bump on his road to glory and continued to punch men of any colour in the face because he was god damn Old Chocolate! He even went as far as to openly challenge John Sullivan, the reigning white champion of the time, who refused to fight a black man because he was a butthole. Godfrey later retired and became a boxing coach, returning to the ring periodically whenever he sensed that someone needed a swift uppercut to the jaw.
The best bit? No one actually knows where the nickname came from since George Godfrey was notably rather light skinned and young when he began boxing, we personally would like to think that he picked it purely because he knew how boss it’d make him look hundreds of years down the line, but that’s just us.