Top 10 Humorous Quotes by President Ronald Reagan


Yesterday’s post on gangster nicknames was a bit on the heavy side, so today we will lighten it up with something more comical. Not many people may realize Ronald Reagan had quite the funny bone and was one of the more humorous Presidents, never taking himself too seriously.

Whether you are Republican or Democrat you will surely appreciate these one-liners and quips by good ol’ Ronny.

  1. “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes.” – joking during a mike check before his Saturday radio broadcast
  2. “I hope you’re all Republicans.” – Speaking to surgeons as he entered the operating room following a 1981 assassination attempt
  3. “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.” – Said many times during his presidency, 1981-1989
  4. “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” – Said during his presidency, 1981-1989
  5. “Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.”
  6. “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” – Remarks at a business conference, Los Angeles, March 2, 1977
  7. “Thomas Jefferson once said, “We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.’ And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.”
  8. “I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” – during a 1984 presidential debate with Walter Mondale
  9. “I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.” – The New York Times, September 22, 1980
  10. “What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who’s played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?” – on Clint Eastwood’s bid to become mayor of Carmel

Want even more humor by our former President? Take about six minutes out of your day and watch the following clips of President Ronald Reagan at his comedic best.

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  1. Does anyone know when and where this one took place. Reagan was speaking at some Univ. and a student stood and said that his generation was concerned about people from his generation being in charge of a world where technology was so important. The student asked something to the effect “Do you think people of your generation understand technology well enough……..? Reagan’s comeback”: “Well, we DID invent it.”

    I would like to site this but don’t have the context. Any help would be appreciated.

  2. I always liked “The most terrifying words in the English Language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help”.

  3. now, how could Reagan possibly take himself seriously?

    Some of those are pretty funny, even to me, but i doubt he thought of them. I’m sure he delivered them very well.

    • I wouldn’t be suprised if it was all (or at least mostly) him. As an actor, he was known for being a generally witty and funny guy who was able to take creative license with a script and not make the director regret it.

      Videos of his debates and speeches all show just how comfortable he was in front of large audiences, and how well he was able to handle “non-scripted” situations. He always managed to say the right things at the right time, which is inhumanly difficult to do when you’re relying on someone else for all of your lines.

  4. when bragging about the socialist system Castro said ” in Cuba we are all equal “, Reagan replied ” that’s true, equally poor “

  5. you missed one, i don’t know the exact quote but it went something like this, “how can I get anything done if the Soviets keep dieing on me”

  6. Also liked his tough side. When he warned Quadaffi that if one more American was killed in a Libyan terrorist attack, "he would pay dearly", Quadaffi thought he was playing. Then the Libyans bombed a Berlin disco and one African American Marine who was hanging out there was killed. Reagan wiped out the entire Libyan air force and laser guided Quadaffi's house killing his daughter. Ever heard any crap from Quadaffi since? No you havent.

  7. I like this one. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that doll!" In reference to Reagan wanting Gorbachev to remove a giant doll hanging on a building.

  8. Republican Party on

    "I'm afraid I can't use a mule. I have several hundred up on Capitol Hill." – refusing a gift of a mule

  9. Republican Guy on

    How about this one, I kinda like it, ""How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."