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Anyone can make anything into a drinking game, with just a little imagination and a near-total disregard for one’s liver. So why, pray tell, would you give somebody else money to come up with a game for you? You COULD spend $20 on a box with a bunch of plastic and cardboard inside, booze sold [...]

When corporations trot out a mascot to help sell their product, they usually aim for light, fluffy, and friendly. That way nobody gets upset, nobody writes angry mails, and everybody keeps paying out the nose. Some companies want to look cool and badass though, in the hopes of attracting those who want only the edgiest, [...]

Original, interesting comedy is great, but crafting it is so damn HARD. Luckily, imitation and unoriginality are just as popular, if not more lucrative. Dane Cook, Jay Leno, Carlos Mencia, Denis Leary, and millions upon millions of Internet commenters can’t be wrong. Not to mention the guy in the grocery store checkout line who thinks [...]

Even famous people have to admit that famous people can be quite obnoxious, especially when they fight. When anonymous schmucks like us get into a scuffle with other anonymous schmucks, very few people tend to care, an even fewer talk about it. But celebrities? If they don’t like each other, we’re all forced to bear [...]

The good citizens of Sequelsville welcome its newest member: Pixar!  The success of the Toy Story sequels, along with Cars 2 because God hates us all, has apparently made Pixar as sequel-happy as anybody else.  Monsters Inc. 2, a prequel to the original hit, is slated for next year.  Sure glad they’re tying up all [...]

All this week, we at TopTenz will be celebrating the publication of 1,000 articles, with a series of articles centered around the number 1,000.  Along with letting The Count from Sesame Street act out his ultimate wet dream, the 1000-themed week will showcase many great articles, this one most of all.  Modesty is for weenies. [...]

Not all Leaders Of The Free World are created equal.  For every Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, or Roosevelt, there are at least five no-names who became President basically by default.  To many of us, they were seat-warming figureheads who did next-to-nothing with their time, who only got to keep the job for four years because they [...]

OK, that’s enough; the jokes are over.  For too long, my brethren and I have sat idly by, while you and your stupid little buddies mock us.  “Gingers. BAH,” you spit with disgust.  ”They have no souls.  They can’t walk in the daytime.  They’ll steal people’s children in the night.  They’re like pale Pokemon: gotta [...]

One of the upsides to skinning our food, cutting it up into several little bitty pieces, and then drowning it all in tasty condiments, is that it allows us to have dinner without considering that animal’s face.  If every plate of burger and fries featured the head of a cow staring at you, with those [...]