42 Responses

  1. Lizaio
    Lizaio at |

    great list!

    Reply
    1. Brandt
      Brandt at |

      Thank you. It was fun to write!

      Reply
      1. GoatFeathers
        GoatFeathers at |

        Great list, but where is the story of Tamar and Judah?!? This one is even more awkward than any of them. It’s in Genisis 38, and Tamar marries Judah’s oldest son. He dies, so by tradition she is married to the next oldest son. He refuses to get her pregnant so, he too dies. Judah see a pattern here and puts Tamar off on marrying the next one in line. So Tamar dresses up as a prostitute and suckers Judah into doing the deed that he wouldn’t have his son do. Then when she is pregnant Judah finds out and raises holy heck with the town elders. He wants to know who the father is, so she brings him the purchase price for her protitution. Judah recognizes that it him! He got his own daughter-in-law pregnant and didn’t know it! Epic Awkard!

        Reply
  2. Posh
    Posh at |

    I Love this site! Great job on this list

    Reply
  3. Leon
    Leon at |

    I like this list. It reminded me of some Biblical Stories that I had forgotten.

    Well-written list. Great job!

    Reply
  4. Pax
    Pax at |

    Didn't Jacob also wrestle God all night long to a standstill until God gave in to his demands? (Genesis 32).

    Had to be a little awkward for God being all powerful and such…

    Reply
    1. Brandt
      Brandt at |

      Yeah, good point. That would be a pretty weird situation.

      Reply
    2. Dude
      Dude at |

      Yeah but wrestle didn't mean literally wrestling, it meant arguing

      Reply
    3. Jack
      Jack at |

      He didn't wrestle god. It was an angel. And it wasn't an argument because he physically touched Jacobs hip to dislocate it.

      Reply
      1. Lukey
        Lukey at |

        Uh, of course it was God. It was Jesus Himself, appearing in bodily form as He did many times in the Old Testament (when revealing to Abraham that he’d have a son, at the burning bush…). Jacob even said, ”I will name this place such-and-such, because I saw God face to face, and didn’t die!” Give me a break….

        Reply
  5. Ben
    Ben at |

    Great list

    Reply
  6. John McDonnell
    John McDonnell at |

    Great list. As for Lot, he had previously offered his daughters to a mob to be raped, to distract the mob from raping two angels that were visiting him. Not your model father, it seems.

    Reply
  7. iliescoo
    iliescoo at |

    Lot and his daughters

    yeah, being drunk and achieving erection :)) strange

    Reply
  8. Craig In Portland
    Craig In Portland at |

    As for Number 5 on the list…

    Jesus and his disciples had been parading around all week in the city, and in front of the Jewish temple.

    I seriously doubt that anyone ordered to arrest him DIDN'T know who he was or what he looked like. So, the Judas kiss becomes something of an issue there….

    Reply
    1. TROY
      TROY at |

      Jesus was known to give His enemies “the slip”.

      Reply
  9. Lex
    Lex at |

    Cool list. But hey, let us not forget the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22 I believe. God has Abraham take his son Isaac, to the mountain in order to sacrifice him to prove his faith. Right when Abraham is about to go through with the deed, God stops him at the last second. Yea, it's pretty safe to say that the walk back down the mountain was an awkward one indeed! In fact Family Guy made a cut-away joke about it!

    Reply
  10. Lex
    Lex at |

    Oh yea, and I just knew Lot and his daughters were gonna be #1! As far as Bible stories go, that one hands down takes the cake for all-round awkwardness.

    Reply
  11. Jeff Finley
    Jeff Finley at |

    This is a great post. You obviously did your research well — both in the selection of the Bible stories and the art to go with it.

    I included a link to it on Sun-Times Media's What Do We Believe blog:

    http://blogs.pioneerlocal.com/religion/2010/03/re

    Reply
  12. avatar
    avatar at |

    great list, indeed well written and funny, without being too mockery about things that are holy to a lot of people, compliments (and thanks) for that!!

    Reply
    1. TROY
      TROY at |

      Agreed

      Reply
  13. talha
    talha at |

    what ever u is inncorrect, read Quran the holy book of muslims and u will find the correct stories.

    Reply
    1. elan
      elan at |

      well, seeing that the Quran was published a couple of thousand years after the Old Testament, I'd be more inclined to believe something closer in date to the events.

      Reply
      1. DrissT.
        DrissT. at |

        Elan you should know that the Holy books were made by God!

        Issa (Jesus) and Mohammed (Mahomet) didn't write them they're just messengers chosen by God to become Prophets!

        God is known by His Immortality so time doesn't mater , Truth does! 😉

        Reply
        1. samson
          samson at |

          How convenient for the Koran.

    2. aegis
      aegis at |

      I think you ment the re-edited stories. Quran: A Bible remake.

      Reply
      1. DrissT.
        DrissT. at |

        Hey guys!

        Well as some of you said the Quran is a Bible Remake!

        Sure these stories will seem awkward since they've been made by human beings or changed by them.Human is not perfect ,but God is!

        God(Allah) made the Original bible,thora and Quran…That's why they're logical and true…

        You're probably wondering why I've said Original ,well It's because the bible and thora have been changed by "men of God" for their personal use!

        Quran isn't because Mohammed (Mahomet) used an intelligent technique to keep the original copy safe!

        Anyway you're probably thinking that what I'm writing is wrong….But do something try to read some verses of the Quran you'll know what I'm talking about!

        It cannot be made by a human you'll remark it and you'll find the true stories !

        You may wanna ask me why am I so sure that Quran is not fake well I'd say that many miracles happening nowadays will prove it for ex ,Do you know that the name Allah was written by the waves at the Tsunami that hit Asia years ago?

        * *http://soufisound.homestead.com/Miracles/Allah_SWT_Tsunami.jpg
        Or just look at the back of your right hand an read whats written in arabic!You'll find Allah!

        * *http://www.megahightec.com/images/siteimages/Allah_Name_On_Hand.jpg
        And there are many more!!

        Greetings

        D.T.

        Reply
        1. aegis
          aegis at |

          Since the Quran is a Bible remake and re-edited it indeed has fewer mistakes but it has still lots of mistakes.

          Check the following links
          This link will show you about 98 mistakes and contradiction in the Quran http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Contradictions_in_t

          The link below gives you a list of 200 questions that no Muslim imam can give you a good answer for http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Hundreds_of_Questio

          Claims by Muslims of prophecies disproven http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Islamic_Prophecies:…

          Ex-muslims disproving Islam.clearly showing 100 of different mistakes from scientific, historical, geographical and varies contradictions. http://islam-watch.org/SyedKamranMirza/Quran-cont

          When you go to the page you will see scientific mistakes,historical mistake and all sorts of mistakes, scroll down below the 121 initial contradictions. http://www.answering-islam.org/Quran/Contra/#inte

        2. Whatever
          Whatever at |

          There no logic is those stupid books. They were written by superstitious bigoted tribemens that sacrificed goats. They’ve all been disproved: The earth is ancient, animals and humans evolved, slavery is NOT okay, nor is animal sacrifice, etc etc etc.

        3. Lukey
          Lukey at |

          Since nobody else is saying it, I might as well…. Evolution has never been witnessed. An animal species turning into another animal species hasn’t ever been observed in history. And you should know, Charles Darwin himself is famous for killing Indian pigmies and putting them in museums as ”missing links.” That’s even worse than slavery. And speaking of slavery, evolution says black people are evolved from a higher class of apes, and later became/become humans (making them inferior, which Hitler firmly believed).

        4. merl
          merl at |

          I think you don’t understand evolution. An animal species doesn’t turn into a different species, that’s why it wasn’t witnessed.

  14. smokey
    smokey at |

    I know a pretty awkward part in genesis , its where kane is banned to the land of nod for killing able; thats where he meets his wife….but who was his wife if adam and eve were the only people in the world besides kane?…hmm….awkward right?…It doesnt say anything about kanes wife except for she was his wife…no name or nothing….so where did she come from?

    Reply
    1. C.C.
      C.C. at |

      IN Genesis 1:26 the Bible says “Then God said, “Let Us make MAN in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all[b] the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
      Man meaning humanity not just one man. Adam means man. If you keep on reading it also says “…man and female” not just one couple but many. Them from all humanity (male and female) he chose one couple to begin the lineage where all the greats of the Bible came from.

      Reply
  15. hakeem
    hakeem at |

    The Quran also mentions the story of Lot but doesn’t mention anything about his daughters or being drunk etc. Only that he was prophet of God who tried to refrain the people of Sodom from homoexuality. The people even tried to seduce the handsome angels when they came to visit him. Eventually God destroyed them with an ‘earthquake’. The ruins can still be seen somewhre close to Jordan

    Reply
  16. Bill
    Bill at |

    The Bible is nothing but a bunch of hand me down stories.Mother Nature run`s this world not some super human in the sky.

    Reply
  17. Angel
    Angel at |

    How strange…

    the Muslims who came here to sing praises for the Qur’anic rendition of the Lot tale fail to mention that the Qur’an also says Lot offered his daughters to the “wicked” men:

    And the people of the city came, rejoicing at the news (of new arrivals). He said: Lo! they are my guests. Affront me not! And keep your duty to Allah, and shame me not! They said; Have we not forbidden you from (entertaining) anyone? He said: Here are my daughters, if ye must be doing (so). – Qur’an 15:67-71

    And his people came unto him, running towards him – and before then they used to commit abominations – He said: O my people! Here are my daughters! They are purer for you. Beware of Allah, and degrade me not in (the person of) my guests. Is there not among you any upright man? – Qur’an 11:78

    ALSO….

    a big theological difference between Islam and Judaism/Christianity is the fact that Muslims believe all so-called prophets are “sinless”.

    so….should we follow the example of Allah’s prophet and offer our daughters to wicked men?

    http://www.wikiislam.net/wiki/The_People_of_Lot

    Reply
    1. REPL
      REPL at |

      HI ANGEL
      U GOT SOME MISTAKE WHILE READING THE SUMMARY OF THE VERSES ABOUT LOT .THE PROPHET LOOT(PBUH) SAID O PEOPLE HERE ARE MY DAUGHTER! THEY ARE PURE FOR YOU– INDICATING TO THE GROUP OF FEMALE COMPANOIN HAVE WITH THEM REFERS TO DAUGHTERS.ESPESIALLY THERE WIVES.BY LAWFULL WAYS…FOR UPRIGHT MANS…

      YA PROPHET ARE SINLESS BECAUSE THEY WERE CHOOSEN ONE AMONGST US.
      IT IS STRONGLY RECOMEDED FOR EVERY MUSLIM TO GIVE GREAT RESPECT WITH HEART AND SOUL FOR EVERY PROPHET BECAUSE THEY SHOW US THE WAY OF FAITH OR ELSE WE WILL NOT BE AMONG GUIDEDONCE .

      Reply
  18. Angel
    Angel at |

    I meant to say “a big theological difference between Islam and Judaism/Christianity is the fact that Muslims believe all so-called prophets are “sinless” and are role-models to emulate.”

    Reply
    1. REPLY TO ANGEL
      REPLY TO ANGEL at |

      REPLY TO ANGEL..
      NO A SMALL DIFFERENCE IS THEIRE BUT THE LORD WHO REVEALED IS THE ONE
      AND THE RELATION WE ARE ALL ARE SONS OF ADAM(PBUH).AND THE PROPHETS ARE SO CLOSE TO OUR LORD
      ,AND OUR(INDIVIDUAL) POWER IS LIMITED BUT PROPHETS POWER IS GIFTED FROM OUR LORD…AND OUR LORD KNOWS BEST…WE ARE ALL BROTHERS.

      Reply
  19. Lauren
    Lauren at |

    Lov the site but u should add this story John 8:1-11

    Reply
  20. Timeea
    Timeea at |

    Brandt, you are a genius!!! This list made my day :)) I love your writing style! Awesome topic.

    Reply
  21. merl
    merl at |

    could be that Lot’s daughters figured that if incest was good enough for Adam and Eve and Noah’s family, it was good enough for them

    Reply

Leave a Reply