To be part of Celebdom, one must be born a certain way – confident, attention-seeking and bubbly. Unfortunately, when you mix these ingredients with drink or drugs, give it a good old shake, then stick it on the telly, very bad things happen. Fame can be fleeting for drunk celebrities, so let’s watch them make an everlasting impact.
10. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
This British Z-lister and sort-of Royal family member had the Queen cringing to her corgis when she went on The Frank Skinner Show back in 1995. The self-confessed barking mad It-Girl lolled on Frank’s lap, rolled her eyes and slurred her snobbish speech. Subsequent to the media furor, Miss P-T sought treatment for her addictions and now enjoys a cleaner living – especially after getting her cocaine-ravaged nose reconstructed with parts of her ear.
9. Danny Devito
As the result of a heavy binge with Gorgeous George Clooney the night before, the diminutive Mr Devito was somewhat wobbly during his appearance on “The View” in 2006. With his co-guests giggling nervously and the audience unsure as to what the pint-sized party animal was going to say next, Danny managed to insult ex-Prem Bush by calling him a “Numb Nuts”, admit that he went all the way with his wife in the White House, and gurn an impression of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. Fortunately, despite a little ribbing from Rosie O’Donnell, Danny escaped with his pride – and career – intact.
Steve-O only gets to eighth place as he’s not just presumed to get drunk on TV, he’s expected to. On Too Late with Adam Carolla, the star – who’s famous for throwing up and stapling his own butt cheeks together – put his foot through a glass table, cussed constantly and tried tackle his host. He was escorted off the show by security, despite it being his plan all-along to appear inebriated as part of a Wildboyz stunt.
7. Paula Abdul
Crazy Cool Paula set tongues wagging when she appeared on The Joe and Dylan show apparently jumbling her words and seeming unfocussed. This did nothing to help prior rumors of substance abuse, which came about following her “erratic behavior” of slumping, chair swinging and word slurring in American Idol and Hey Paula. In a March 2007 appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman, Paula waved away the rumors by saying it was all due to her being “abducted by aliens”. A likely story
6. Sharon Osbourne
Mrs Prince of Darkness made no real apologies for drunkenly hosting her eponymous chat show on live UK TV, by saying: “I’m so sorry I’m p**sed, but it’s my birthday.” The cheeky celebrity swayed and giggled through interviews, fluffed her lines and cackled like a loon during the infectiously hilarious show. This wasn’t the first time she’d appeared on TV after some Dutch courage, however. She also arrived noticeably wobbly on the set of UK X-Factor, threw herself at Simon Cowell and streamed obscenities like she was paid for it.
5. Ben Affleck
Boozed-up Ben turned an innocent interview with Quebecois TV host Anne-Marie Losique into soft-porn when he turned up sizzled on Tequila. Completely forgetting to promote his up-coming film, Jersey Girl, instead Ben grappled the stunned (although visibly flattered) reporter onto his lap, and proceeded to grope and charm her to his heart’s content. As if that wasn’t damning enough, Affleck then goes on to poke fun at people with Cerebral Palsy in the five minute display. Cringe.
4. David Hasselhoff
OK, so The Hoff didn’t willingly appear wasted on TV – the shambolic footage was released to the public by his daughter in a desperate attempt to curb his wild ways. It’s no secret that the former Baywatch man-babe likes a drink, in fact his boozing has seen him ejected from airplanes and into the headlines many-a-time. This particular clip, however, leaves the viewer not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Mumbling through mouthfuls of hamburger and lolling on the floor shirtless, Hoff cuts a sad figure compared to his 80s fame. What would the Germans say?
3. Anna Nicole Smith
No one could say poor Anna has had it easy. Initially a public hate figure for her alleged gold-digging, Anna went on to publicly breakdown, balloon in weight and booze during her namesake show. When she appeared at the 2004 American Music Awards, she had lost a load of weight, but as she incoherently drawled “Like my body?”, that was the last thing on the stunned viewers’ minds. Predictably, tragic Anna died a premature death due to a lethal concoction of prescription drugs.
2. James Brown
In perhaps the most absurd intoxicated TV appearance, the crazy-eyed Godfather of Soul sings, mutters and sweats his way to the number two spot. In an interview that was meant to straighten out allegations of him shooting at his then-wife with a handgun, he stifled the clearly horrified presenter by refusing to answer questions, answering in song, or just forgetting altogether that he was being filmed and talking to his colleagues behind the camera.
1. Britney Spears
Pop’s princess obviously comes in at number one. The only problem is, which clip to choose from? Although the infamous wide-eyed head shave was caught on camera and broadcast around the world in an instant, the real insight into this fallen star’s substance abuse lies in a leaked video shot by ex-husband Kevin Federline. Britney appears agitated and itchy, admits that her jaw huts (a side effect of amphetamines) and mumbles random stuff like: “Is that possible? To time travel…? Yes it is Kevin. I think other people are ahead of us.” Sadly, this clip signifies the start of a very messy video and picture diary courtesy of the world’s paparazzi. It’s only recently that the star is back in public favor – for now.