88 Responses

  1. Gamer at |

    Man, you are right on the fake money with Monopoly. That game should be banned. How many nights ended up with the board being tossed in the air from frustration? I think you missed adding Risk as that can go on and on.

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  2. Ren at |

    When I read this in the Candy Land part of the blog post, I laughed, "Sure, you want your kid to win, but on your terms." As a parent, I totally get this. The day your child beats you in a game of skill is sad day indeed. Who needs games of chance increasing this inevitable outcome.

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  3. matt sweeney at |

    Checkers is racist? Clue desensitizes you to violence? You're joking, right?

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  4. Tao at |

    Definitely too true about Risk. You really missed an opportunity there. And why no Chess?

    Thank god modern board games (Euro games specifically) are so much more interesting.

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  5. Cannon Fodder at |

    I used to be obsessed with Stratego as a child. Odd because there's really only about 3 strategies you can use. But I used to do strange experiments like put bombs in all the places in the front expect one. It became obvious that they were all bombs though because they never moved, so I don't recall that working very well, haha. Or I did things like put the flag in a random place on the board surrounded by sevens, since most people always assumed the flag was in the corner of the back row of the far left or far right. I don't recall that working very well either. The thing that was always interesting about Stratego was that it was a poker match too. What's someone's facial expression as you get closer to their flag? You could watch for "tells" etc. Stratego really combined elements of many games, but it had more violent undertones than most board games, automatically making it better.

    Surprised Hero Quest didn't make the list.

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  6. Baltimore Blob at |

    "Checkers is racist?"

    There were racist version of Checkers, yes. Namely the ones where the pieces were actually black and white, http://umooku.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/kill_sc

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  7. Kris at |

    LOL, I think this list is hilarious. Checkers for racists is priceless.

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  8. G-Fan at |

    Forget Stratego, just give them a controller and Grand Theft Auto or Halo. You're never too young to frag anyone. Actually, Stratego is probably my favorite board game. Great list man!

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    1. G-man at |

      I think you’re supposed to be seventeen before playing GTA or Halo. It’s not the developers fault the average kid will bend to a bit of peer pressure and their parents will bend to a bit of whining.

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  9. MadiMack at |

    My in-laws and my wife call Monopoly, the Divorce Game. Apparently, when my wife was younger, it caused a great deal of strife. I hate the game, but my wife kept pressing me to play it. I guess she thought we were mature enough to handle it. Nope. I annihilated her, and reveled in my dominance. Since then, thankfully, I haven't had to play it.

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  10. Joyce at |

    I confess. I took the Plumpy card out of the Candyland game and shredded him while my three-year-old wasn't looking. Life has been better ever since.

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  11. Monopoly Hater at |

    The worst thing about Monopoly is that there are 1,000,001 different versions out there! Seriously, do we really need America's National Parks Monopoly or I Love Lucy Monopoly? At least McDonald's Monopoly ain't bad, you can win free food.

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  12. Christine at |

    This list is hysterical. However, you forgot the one we all (not so) secretly hate – Mouse Trap. Has anyone ever followed the directions to that game? And what's up with the cardboard cheese pieces? The only point to this game is turning the crank and trapping the mouse. There's no need for the spaces in the game board. Has anyone ever really used any of those spaces to go around the game board? Worst game ever . . . and for the record for all you Monopoly haters out there – you should try the Electronic Banker version. I finally finished my first ever Monopoly game (and at 48 years old, I've played ALOT!) and it was pretty painless and even kind of fun.

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  13. Barry at |

    Yeah, where is Scrabble. That game is terrrible. Yes, I used three r's. Nothing like being called out in front of friends and family as a poor speller and having a limited vocabulary. Lotsa fun there.

    Loved Stratego though.

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  14. Kania at |

    Well, i thought Clue, or Cluedo was fun back in the old days. But now, i can finish the game in just 3 to 4 turns LOL. It's not fun anymore.

    For Scrabble, i still playing it. I agree that Scrabble should not on the list.

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  15. Ilja at |

    I will never play Risk or Monopoly again.

    But there are new board games now like Colonists of Catan and Carcasonne which have much shorter rounds. The first thing we do when buying a board game is checking how long it takes to play.

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  16. Modified mummy at |

    I love playing Monopoly… now I'm a grown up, in a grown up relationship, and with grown up substitutions for the 'rent'. ;)

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  17. Tanya Bennett at |

    What about that horrifying game called 'Concentration'? You wound it up and then had to fit all of the puzzle pieces in before the timer went off or it would pop up and throw all of the pieces up at you. Great way to get your anxiety levels up right before bedtime. Even when I had the pieces lined up I couldn't get them in on time…

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  18. Luckless at |

    I agree that Concentration is a horrible game for people that are more anxious. My anxiety level was so high that I had a 10 minute nosebleed after i failed to put all the pieces in correctly. The box should come with a health warning and not the one for choking on the pieces.

    This isnt a board game but i think its pretty dangerous. It invovles sticks flying through the air and can potentially poke out someone's eyes.

    Yes, Pick up sticks. Never had a steady hand and almost poked my eye out.

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  19. Jeremy at |

    This list was so great, I laughed so many times and I laughed so hard at the monopoly part I cried and couldn't breath for two minutes. Amazing. Thank you, this was the highlight of my day.

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  20. Games Now at |

    Great list !

    The monopoly part is so funny and true : "You will never trust or love the same again" :)).

    Used to play it with my family on Sundays and we would always get mad at one another and almost never finish a game.

    Stumbled !

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  21. blake at |

    i hate monopoly to no one really wins you can play for hours and some jest ends up yelling @#&? and

    throwing the board across the room.

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  22. blake at |

    i now what you mean Christine mouse trap is a @#&?

    annoying game i hate spending hours putting the @#&?

    thing together and the only playing for ten minutes.

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  23. Alex at |

    i love life

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  24. Game Economy at |

    What no connect four?

    Chutes and Ladders…two thumbs up on the Bad. :)

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  25. Diana at |

    My niece and nephew (ages 6 and 5) love it when I bring "the Clue with the weapons" to their house. I recently relented and explained to my nephew how you could hurt someone with the weapons. Does that make me the best or worst aunt ever?

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  26. john at |

    I got so ill at the concept of tic-tac-toe tonight that i started dry-heaving! How has this dingle-berry of a game stayed on our collective tukis for so long? My son asked me to play tic-tac-toe on an Itouch(TM Copyright plus tax) and I think i became a little critical and my wife had to dislodge the contraption from the dogs a@#!! I bet you a million dollars that we have a draw son. How did you know pa? Mousetrap? ha. connect four? where i can't see? here diagnoly! genious! thanks for the list…

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  27. Jim R at |

    "In the words of Jack Nicholson, 'Can’t we all just get along?'" Funny, I thought that was Rodney King.

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  28. Roderick McGwier at |

    You're right! Checkers is racist! Let's just give both players the same color. Then there's no racism involved. But what color? You can't use black, red, white or yellow cause they're racial. Can't use pink cause that's feminine and the guys won't like it and you'll have a sex war. But then this list had to be done for fun cause my family has played most of these games together at one time or another.

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  29. heretoday at |

    I was playing Candy Land with my then three year old granddaughter, and it was taking forever and we were supposed to be somewhere. I made the bad choice to cheat just a little bit, so she could win and we could go. That smart little girl realised exactly what I had done and she was so angry with me she cried, told on me to her mommy (my daughter), and wouldn't talk to me the rest of the day. I don't think I can ever play Candy Land again!!

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  30. heretoday at |

    It is an evil game, you are right, TTM.

    This Christmas she wanted a Hi Ho Cherry-O game, so we bought one for her. When next we visit our daughter's family, I think I'll let Grandpapa play the board games with our granddaughter; I don't know if I can play a board game with her ever again!!!

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  31. stav at |

    The Momopoly one is sooooooooo true.. I don't know anyone who has ever finished it! In my house, there is always a fight over who gets the little dog too!

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  32. LariLee at |

    "Monopoly" was great fun with the stupid people who usually played with me. They thought I had fantastic luck and never realized that being the banker was actually the source of my luck (and all my extra money). I loved "Life" but never won a game in all the times I played. Even when I was the banker.

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  33. Miss Mouthy at |

    What about Perfection with all those weirdly shaped pieces and the timer? Then it all explodes in your face if you aren't "Perfect."

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  34. mike at |

    Excellent list! Monopoly is by far my most hated board game. Did I mention I f'n hate Monopoly?

    Loved this:

    The Ugly: The game also teaches you about revenge, bankruptcy and taxes. After playing this game you want to take your own “Life”.

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  35. twbrooks6 at |

    This list makes me want to play Monopoly…

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  36. Ben at |

    Monopoly can be a nightmare, but it can also be a genuinely thrilling game. The key is to act like adults follow the rules, and follow to a conclusion. But Thanks for not putting Scrabble on the List.

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  37. Old Man at |

    I agree with the guys who think you forgot Scrabble, i mena the last time I palyed it we nearly killed each other (especialy because the oly Dictionary around was form 1987)

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  38. DeeDee at |

    I didn't speak with my friend for 2 weeks after an exhausting game of monopoly, and haven't played the game since. Now i want to play it again. >(

    Wonderful list though, good job :)

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  39. Michelle at |

    LOL, nice list dude. Although, my family had more fights about the game of Life than the game of Monopoly. Of course, we always had special Family Rules for Monopoly, such as if another player rolls before you notice someone has landed on your space, that person doesn't have to pay rent. Or if you didn't count the money after you got it you most likely will find out you got shorted, if you didn't remind the banker that you passed go you missed out on your $200, if you rolled snake eyes you got sent to jail. We were an odd, odd family. In Life it was always people hiding life chips, or taking revenge with the trade-a-salary.

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  40. Paul F. Villerius at |

    I personally think you're focusing to much on the negatives of these games. Monopoly and Clue are some of my favorite board games.

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    1. Jim R at |

      Uh, Paul … did you happen to notice the name of this list?? By the way, it is "too much" not "to much". Is there a list of Top Ten Common Words People Can't Spell Correctly?

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      1. Paul F. Villerius at |

        Also, I was just nitpicking, and that was just a typo. It's enough that people like me nitpick, with people like you nitpicking at our nitpicks, Jim. However, I digress. I did make a typo. Allow me too rectify my mistake.

        (lol)

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  41. Lauren at |

    Trivial Pursuit is my favorite to hate. Interesting list

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  42. Hall of the Wendigo at |

    It's weird. It'd never struck me before that I'd never ever finished a game of Monopoly but, now that the issue's been brought up, I realise it's true. By the way, "Chutes and Ladders" is more fun if you call it by the British name, "Snakes and Ladders." Somehow, it seems more glamorous that way.

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    1. Selah at |

      It annoys me when people call it Chutes and Ladders. When I was a kid it was Snakes and Ladders, I remember when I was about 12 (I think) hearing it called Chutes and Ladders for the first time. Someone told me the name was changed so as not to psycologically traumatized kids, or some such nonsense. I didn’t realized it was called different names in Britain and North America. I like it better with snakes.

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      1. Turk at |

        We called it Snakes and ladders here in Canada back in the day (late 80′s early 90′s)

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  43. Martin at |

    The newest Monopoly game is a little more fun because each player gets his own little debit card so it little harder to cheat and you do not have all that paper money to deal with lol.

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  44. Twitus at |

    You forgot Risk! How many friendships and even couples this game from hell has destroyed!

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  45. Wildfur at |

    lol I love it! So true. And i those are all games I hate except Clue and Life so now I have a perfect excuse next time someone wants me to play one. :-)

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  46. shunammite at |

    Hilarious list, thanks! And I'm so glad you put Monopoly #1! Our 4 year old beat the pants off us every time playing "Memory" back in the day – my theory is there was nothing else in his little mind except where he saw that image last – however, he did grow up to be pretty bright.

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  47. Brad at |

    Chutes and Ladders? Lame, Snakes and Ladders? Much better!!

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  48. Mike at |

    This is the best review that I've ever read. It's full of Hollywood-sarcastic-line kinda style. Constantine, John Mclane, whatever. You have any movie review, man? I'd curious to read it.

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  49. selunesmom at |

    Loved the list. Also – Mastermind. Did anyone else find "guess the code with no clues but only fifteen tries" a stupid board game?

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    1. Jim R. at |

      Mastermind is maybe my favorite game! But then, I was a math major and studied logic and reasoning. I suppose if a person only plays it as a literal "guessing" game then yeah, it sucks. After all, the basic six color, four spaces per row game has 1,296 possibilities and trying to guess the right one in 10 to 15 chances would just be dumb luck. If, on the other hand, you learn how to best use the info from those little black and white pegs, the game can be a good mental workout (and the code can often be found in 5 or 6 tries). Part of Mastermind's beauty is that it can be simplified in enough ways ( e.g. use fewer colors, 3 spaces vs. 4, or have the black and white clue pegs correspond to exact guess pegs) that I've used it with 7th graders to everyone's enjoyment.

      By the way, I know there are at least two books on playing and analyzing Mastermind.

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      1. Turk at |

        That game can drive a person crazy too, especialy when your wife and seven year old son don’t know how to properly mark the red and white pegs and your trying to tell them they did something wrong because if row 2 has two right colors in the wrong spot and two right colors right spot then in row 4 the exact same colors are used and I get two right colors wrong spots and 1 right color wrong spot!? COME ON! What is wrong with you people?! Get your s#@t together! Any idiot can see that this is not possible! I want a divorce! And as for you, go to your room and do some home work or something! ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHH (little pegs go everywhere as mastermind gets smashed against the living room wall)!!!!!!!!!! Yeah that game can get a little frustrating….. just a little :)

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  50. aprilrose at |

    I actually loved life when I was younger and I still do! It is very stressful though especially putting those dumb pegs in the car! The electronic version of it is so much better but I find that playing with my sister and friends it's very easy to cheat and change your own salary when no one's looking hahaha. And the fact that you can play AS MANY TURNS AS YOU WANT can really make for an endless game! Too bad you can only have 9 children :( lol

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  51. JamesDesignGuy at |

    @toptenz Remember Tip It? I just played the other day. I collect board games. Up to 211 so far. There are some (cont) http://www.twitlonger.com/show/6slaqj

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    1. toptenz at |

      @JamesDesignGuy Yes, I remember Tip It and Break the Ice. ;-)

      Reply
  52. Mglaffas at |

    Wow, it’s easy to tell that you are American – Stratego and Clue are bad for our children? Oh god, sounds like whiney American parent drivel again. I love this site, but come on – relax!

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    1. Jim R. at |

      You do realize this whole list is satirical, right?? I’d say you’re the one who needs to relax.

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  53. Nate at |

    I think the person that wrote this wasn’t really thinking. These games I loved as a kid except candyland. And monopoly is very educational my cousin is only five and he’s better with numbers than me

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  54. Darren at |

    How come once something involves the colours black and white, it immediately becomes racist? My friends (or various ethnicities) and I have played Checkers (and draughts and chess) for years and have never related any of them to racism. Racism is a more serious issue than the colour of board game pieces. Personally, I think some people just need to grow up.

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    1. Selah at |

      Dude, he was being satirical. He’s not being serious. I don’t think anyone ever really played checkers thinking it was racist. This was meant in humour.

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  55. Humera at |

    This. Was. HILARIOUS! I loved it!! XD
    The sarcastic humor was <3
    XD

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  56. adon at |

    Seriously man!? lol! so we should make it all white or just black then so we can easily distinguish which color is yours and mine right? but you are right on some things. but who cares about a boardgame when it is worst what you provide your kids using war movies, even transformers although not a considered a war movie, I doubt you took em there. how bout harry potter where it teaches kids that in the end your friends and teachers die for ya and who cares, your a freakin hero and celebrated. and video games like Halo and Counter Strike, they teach your kids that shooting someone is fun and easy. all you need is to pull the trigger and who cares what happens to those morrons you shoot. they will just respawn again in real life right? :D

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  57. Scorpiannn at |

    The one who wrote this has severe mental issues……and when I say severe I mean Hitler level of insanity.

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  58. Hello at |

    The Bad: Let’s start with the fact that no one has actually ever finished a game of Monopoly

    Yeah they have? …

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  59. William at |

    Ok, I love board games, but this was funny :-)

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  60. unkwon at |

    They’re just board games made for fun!!! I have/had some of these as well…..Its to pass time and have fun with family!

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  61. sexyboy at |

    i cant beleive u put monopoly 1st because it is so awesome!!! That operation is not suitible for little kids though, thats hould be number 1!!!

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  62. popopo at |

    stratego is fine

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  63. david muchai at |

    ha!…can`t forget the last time i played it (monopoly) …those freaks reduced me to a beggar..DAMN!!!

    Reply

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