Top 10 Weird “Of the Month” Clubs You Can Find on Etsy

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We live in an exciting time. Handwritten letters and paper bills are all but gone, but getting junk shipped to your house is at an all time high. Who hasn’t gone to the shoe store just to see what size they need to order online? Let them cast the first stone. One trend that’s coming back in a big way with this influx of online shopping is the Of the Month Club. Cheese of the Month and Wine of the Month feel as old as time itself. Newer to the scene are a whole slew of Sock and Underwear of the Months, for those who like to leave the clothing of their nether regions to chance. And then there are these Etsy clubs, where you can sign up to receive all the bizarre stuff you can buy on Etsy, but on a monthly basis. From the too-niche to the probably-not-serious to the just really strangely marketed, these are ten of the weirdest Of the Month Clubs you can join right now on Etsy.

10. Sushi Club – Fresh from the Mailbox

sushi-club

Sushi is something you really ought to eat fresh, isn’t it? Even with the fastest of shipping, that’s a long time for your delicate raw fish to be sitting on ice in a box. Yeah… sushi sounds like a very weird thing to get by mail. If this was your train of thought upon seeing the title, then you are in serious luck, because the Sushi Club involves no sushi whatsoever. It is, in fact, a Surprise Fiber of the Month club, in which 2 ounces of mystery wool appear in your mailbox every four weeks. The connection comes from the phrase “Make It Raw” because… it’s raw wool that you have to spin yourself… just like sushi. The picture of wool on the site is even superimposed with a very large picture of sushi, which has probably never once led to confusion.

9. Beer Soap of the Month – Smell Like a Bar

soap-club

For when you really want soap made out of home-brewed beer, but you don’t want all of it at once. This one is legitimately pretty cool. The seller (whose tagline is “Intoxicate your skin”) makes handmade soap out of homemade and local beer. It’s a real testament to the handmadeitude of Etsy. Sure, that’s a real word. Of course, by signing up for this yearlong subscription, you are putting a lot of faith in the notion that it will not make you constantly smell like beer. Because if you constantly smell like beer for an entire year, people are bound to notice. Maybe buy a single bar first and see if anyone stages an intervention before investing in the long-term program.

8. Pad of the Month – It Gives You Wings

pads-club

If there’s one thing Etsy’s made its name in, for some reason it’s hand-sewn menstruation pads. (Really, they’re everywhere. Check that list out – every one is made by a different seller.) Maybe it is a good idea… they’re small and easy to make, and they’re environmentally friendly. And this is the only club on the list that can claim loud and proud that it really does need to come once a month. They did miss a golden opportunity, though: your stylish pad is going to be mailed on the 10th of every month, regardless of your personal… tides. Get me a club that caters to my own private of the month club and then maybe we can talk.

7. Shower Art of the Month – Hide that Mildew

shower-club

On the fifteenth of every month for a year, you will receive a small rubber thing on a suction cup. Inside the small rubber thing are catchy slogans such as “BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS,” “FLOSS B*TCH,” and “BONER PARTY” which, to be fair, are all reasonably bathroom related. (Boner party is less of a slam dunk and more up to personal preferences/equipment.) Maybe the best (though totally not bathroom-themed) says “DON’T SASS THE CAT,” and gives you the option of emailing a picture of your own cat (or the cat of your choice) to be featured. Unsettle your friends by gifting them weird suction cups once every month that take an unexpected, personal, cat-themed turn.

6. Urchin of the Month Club – Please Sir, I Want Some More

urchin-club

No, you don’t get a lovable but filthy Cockney scamp once a month (but take look around Etsy yourself – you might be able to). Sign up, and the folks at Urchin House will send you one decorative empty sea urchin shell every month for up to a year. They are pretty cute – they’re colorful, they range from half an inch to three inches, and they look like a cross between a beach ball and one of those little decorative cacti. According to the description, Urchin House receives new urchins constantly, and joining the club is the best way to guarantee you’re on the cutting edge. So if you want to decorate your home with a nautical theme that’s not really recognizable as nautical, this is the club for you!

5. Game of Thrones Sock of the Month – An Etsyer Always Repays His Debts

thrones-club

This club does not appear to be Game of Thrones themed. It also does not appear to involve socks. All of which makes the name a little suspect. What it does involve is three skeins of yarn hand-dyed in an exclusive color arriving at your door during the months that Game of Thrones airs. So you can knit your own socks while you watch Game of Thrones, presumably. If you really want the yarn and don’t have HBO, though, you can probably get away with it. As Game of Thrones is currently on the air, you sadly can’t join this club anymore. You can still click around and check it out anyway, though, and get pumped for season six. And imagine all those people out there happily knitting their Lannister socks.

4. Vintage Metropolitan Museum of Art Miniatures Book of the Month – A Niche Market

books-club

For that hard-to-buy-for friend. As long as they’re hard to buy for because they only like vintage Metropolitan Museum of Art miniatures books. They’re really only into the early 1950s, you say? What a coincidence! This club is specifically for books printed in 1952. (There is one book from 1940, but your friend doesn’t have to read it. Or you can tell them it came from another friend who doesn’t understand them like you do.) Basically, if this person is in your life, and their birthday is coming up, this is your first and last stop for a gift. Possibly your last stop ever, since there’s only one subscription available.

3. Frozen Charlotte of the Month – Creepy in Every Way

charlotte-club

Frozen Charlotte is, according to the seller’s page, a popular china doll that was produced in Germany from the 1850s through the 1930s. According to Wikipedia, it’s named for an old folk song about a girl who won’t bundle up and cover her pretty dress and, subsequently, freezes to death. So what do you get when you cross dead children with doll factories abandoned since the time of the Nazis? Some pretty weird found object art. The dolls are salvaged from torn down German factories, and they’re made of a single moulded piece of china, so they’re pretty much all missing at least one limb. Once a month you’ll get some kind of surprise multi-media art involving one of them. If you can get past (or like) the creepiness, it’s pretty cool.

2. Tic Tac of the Month – Smell Fresh 12 Times a Year

tic-club

Finally, a club that really seems to appreciate the beauty of the system. Designed not so much for you as for your friends and enemies, this club signs someone up to receive a single Tic Tac, in a box, once a month. You’re welcome to buy it for yourself, if you’re that desperate for mail, though at $20 for an unspecified number of months of single Tic Tacs, we can’t help but think there are better things to look for in your mailbox. Like bills. Or supermarket fliers. This club comes from a lovely company called Crappy Birthday 2 U, the fine people who also brought you…

1. Tampon of the Month – Feel Fresh 12 Times a Year

tampon-club

Yes, really. Not at all to be confused with Pad of the Month at number 8. The overview claims it’s handmade, but we’re dubious. If these guys can make commercial-quality tampons by hand, why are they wasting their time on joke gifts? That sounds like a market in itself! A market that would do particularly well on Etsy. (Which it does, by the way.) But the folks at Crappy Birthday 2 U aren’t in it for the money. They’re in it for you. According to the description, the tampon “will arrive in discrete (sic) packaging (an envelope that says “NOT a tampon.”)” Phew. Can’t have the neighbors knowing.


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