The Awesome Mystery of Flexible Glass.


Glass is a substance that is normally so fragile and easy to break it could easily pass for a teenagers self-esteem. However, imagine if there was a type of glass that not only resisted breaking, but actively absorbed damage and laughed in the face of nature, a kind of flexible, not shattering glass that never cracked. Believe it or not this substance is supposedly based in fact, but it’s not a crazy chemical compound from the future, it was a material that apparently existed over a 1000 years ago.

Back in the age of the Romans, Tiberius Caesar was sat on his pimp throne when a lowly pleb handed him an unassuming glass cup. Tiberius, unimpressed with the meager gift, threw it to the ground like he was in a Lonely Island video. However, rather than shattering into a million pieces in a bitchin display of his awesome throwing skills, the glass dented.

They ran out of marble before they could carve his biceps.

They ran out of marble before they could carve his biceps.

Awestruck Tiberius and his men watched as the glass’ creator took a small hammer and carefully worked out the dent. Upon seeing this Tiberius immediately asked who else knew the secret to creating this material, to which the creator then proudly proclaimed that he, and only he could make more. So Tiberius had him executed. Because the new wonder material was so awesome Tiberius feared it could undermine the cost of gold and silver. Since why would people invest in awesome golf pots if cheap glass ones never broke? Sure he destroyed a potentially world changing discovery that could have revolutionized freaking everything, but he did save the Legend of Zelda games by making sure we lived in a world where pots break like an infants skull. Truly, he was the Earth’s greatest leader.


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