Top 10 Awesomely Pimped Out iPads


The iPad is one of the single most popular consumer products in the history of civilization.  As of the end of 2011, it sold over 55 million units between the iPad 1 and the iPad 2.  The release of the iPad 3 last month overwhelmed the tech world, with three million copies sold in the first three days of release.  Never has a chunk of aluminum, silicon, and glass been more influential.

It’s also not cheap, starting at $500, and that’s before you choose a 3G plan to go with it, choose to have more on-board memory, or both.  But even that’s not enough for some of us: we have to give it our own distinctive stamp, especially since so many people own so many of them across the world.  Here are the ten most awesome iPad decals that express the owner’s individuality (or at least taste in consumer entertainment products)…with a bonus three awful pimped-out iPads.

10.  Magritte iPad


If you’re going to express some individuality, you should do it with a touch of class, referencing a classic surrealist painting, Rene Magritte’s “The Son of Man”.  Of course most people will think you stole it from an ad, since the painting has turned up everywhere from “The Thomas Crown Affair” (the Pierce Brosnan one, not the Steve McQueen one) to a Michael Jackson music video, but that’s life.  Hey, Magritte himself might find it funny.

9.  I’m Afraid I Can’t Do That, Steve


Everybody is always concerned about Apple stealing our privacy or somehow invading our minds.  Why not put that fear, front and center, for all to see, with the single biggest symbol of dreaded computer authority, the glowing red eye of HAL?  Of course, this ignores that HAL was originally intended to rip on IBM, a computer company we all thought was going to take over the world until Microsoft came along, then we thought it was going to take over the world, and then Apple came along.  Also has the bonus of possibly getting yourself on the secret Apple watch list for when they invade our mi-


8.  It’s-a Power-Up!


So, here’s our question: if Mario snags an Apple power-up, what does it do?  Make him good at selling overpriced computers?  Give him exquisite taste in design?  Give him the power to sell a phone everyone wants on one carrier for way too long?  Or maybe just allow him to ship all the iOS games to Nintendo?  We think that last one is the most likely.  Nintendo’s known for its whimsy, and also its wishful thinking.

7.  Have an Apple iPad, Dearie


Well, considering how eating the actual fruit turned out for her, maybe it makes more sense for Snow White to avoid the actual fruit and stick with computers.  At least with computers, she’s a lot less likely to catch any viruses herself.  Maybe we could make her one with a poison tester?

6.  Mmmmm…Apples…


Being that Apple products are owned by nerds, and nerds are required by law to be massive fans of “The Simpsons“, a decal like this was all but inevitable.  In fact, you’ll find dozens of them online, ranging from the clever to the, uh, gross (we didn’t need a naked Homer on our iPad, even if it is just his butt).  But we like this one because, realistically, we’re pretty sure than when confronted with an iPad, Homer will think it’s an interactive plate.  And possibly an edible one.

5.  The Joke’s On You


So, uh…the Joker.  He has control of your iPad.  He’s just hangin’ out on there, touching your logo, enjoying himself, big old smile on his face.  Have you checked your house for Smilex bombs recently, or just bombs in general?  Maybe some chattering teeth?  Large gifts wrapped in garish paper?  Joy buzzers that somehow give off way more electricity than they should?  Things like that.

4.  Has He Lost His Mind?


You might be thinking “Yeah, OK, Iron Man.  This is pretty neat.  Nerdy.  Looks cool.  Don’t really see what the big deal is, though.”

Remember what happens when you turn on an iPad?  The Apple logo on the back glows.  Now you see why this is so awesome.  Sadly, Marvel will never agree to installing iOS into a suit of armor made by a crazy billionaire.  But we can dream.

3.  But Will It Work With Our Other Bricks?


There’s only one thing stronger than Apple products with nerds: Legos.  So by combining the two, this will pretty much completely take over the world.  We’re pretty sure this is what Apple’s secret robot soldiers will look li-


2.  HI-YA!


We really like the image of Apple using glowing ninja stars with their logo in the center.  Somehow it dovetails perfectly with how we imagine Microsoft and Apple duking it out for supremacy, and possibly during job interviews.

1.  BLAM!


This is actually a reference to a famous piece of film shot at high speed, showing exactly what happens to an apple after it’s been shot.  It’s so famous it even gets referenced in ads for rival products:

If you’re wondering what happens to an Apple product after it’s been shot, there’s a video of that, too.

The Bottom Three

Meanwhile, leave it to some people with more money than sense to make a $500 tablet cost even more, sometimes millions.


Behold, an iPad 2 with a gold back, the Apple logo filled with diamonds, and the screen ringed by what the designer of this tacky monstrosity claims are dinosaur bones.  It’s nice to know a valuable paleological specimen was destroyed so this $8 million iPad 2 could be rendered an obsolete piece of junk in a month or so.


Meanwhile, this iPad costs a mere $20,000.  Yes, that’s what a trifling 11.43 carats worth of diamonds glued around the edge of an iPad will run you.


But if even that’s too rich for your blood, and you’re absolutely determined to look fabulous while holding a tablet computer, a company called CrystalRoc will be more than happy to indulge.

Written By Dan Seitz

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