Top 10 Worst Named Cities in America

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At the risk f never being given the keys to the city of Crapo, Maryland, where you might not to want to open anything anyway, namely a business, there are some places that are just plain unappealing to the ear. There are towns that for whatever reason struck ‘appeal to tourists’ off the local chamber of commerce agendas, watched the Rotarians rotate their wheels out of Dodge and whose mayors are currently in the process of decommissioning our welcome wagons. I give you the 10 worst named cities in America. Special honor to Pennsylvania for dominating this list.

10. Dead Horse, Alaska

What more could we say about it without invoking the phrase? If your town is a ‘one horse’ one, better make sure the beast isn’t glue factory-bound.

9. Fleatown, Ohio

Brought in from a curbside mattress. Don’t make any hotel reservations.

8. Hell, Michigan

‘Hell’ might mean bright in German, but these name choices aren’t. If Hell was at a lower latitude, instead of Michigan, at least in the summer it would lend itself to ‘It’s hotter than Hell”, “No it isn’t” repartee.

7. Virginville, Pennsylvania

Image result for Virginville, Pennsylvania

Not a popular town for the guys, but probably a place most mother’s would like their daughters to take up residence, at least until they are safely married. The fact that a hotel bears the name is high comedy. (See photo)

6. Looneyville, Texas

You can only blame the township so much, when the founder was name John Looney. At the time the word looney may not have had the connotation it does now. But the stigma must be horrible when you think about your job interview and announce you are from the town of Looneyville.

5. Boogertown, North Carolina

One good thing about Boogertown, is that it’s in Gaston County home of Cito Gaston who captained the Toronto Blue Jays to back to back World Series wins. This may be a stretch, but why don’t YOU come up with something for a substance a construction worker shoots out his left nostril.

4. Boring, Oregon

The community was named for W. H. Boring, an early resident of the area. The name “Boring” is embraced by locals, however, and found in many local businesses, resulting in many road signs that seem humorous to outsiders. Boosters of the village designation use the slogan “The most exciting place to live.

3. Blue Ball, Pennsylvania

The town’s name often gets attention due to it being very similar to blue balls, a sexual condition in males. This joins nearby towns Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, and Virginville in the list of sexually-suggestive sounding town names in the Pennsylvania Dutch area of Pennsylvania.

2. Spread Eagle, Wisconsin

Image result for Spread Eagle, Wisconsin

A city that’s tough on crime, but leaves you feeling compromised.

1. Intercourse, Pennsylvania

The sign reads “Welcome to Intercourse” and how many married men thought the were entering that very “city” when getting married, only to find it was a one-way trip to Blue Ball Pennsylvania. Good thing its close by.


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71 Comments

  1. Haha way to go pennsylvania to make it on the list three times! Good research into the names who ever made this list. I've been to intercourse pennsylvania, it's a big amish town, and they play up the intercourse name like you wouldn't believe. I bought a shirt that says I heart Intercourse….Pa.

  2. Um..Virginville is good, but nearby where I live in Southern Utah is a small town just simply called "Virgin" which is right next to the "Virgin River" which is ironic because both the town and the river are the two dirtiest places in the county.

  3. There is also a place called "Empty, Georgia" and "Needmore, Georgia". Not to mention some interesting cities that have spanish names… "Punta Gorda, Florida" translation: Punta is Spanish for "point" or in some spanish dialects the profane word "bit**"…"Gorda" is the feminine form of the adjective meaning "fat". Then there is "Los Banos, California" and Los Banos means "the restroom" in Spanish. So if you ever see any hispanic people snickering about something we say…you know why! They may consider Americans to be rather strange considering our choice in names for our cities! haha 🙂

    • Punta means “point/tip” in all forms of spanish, the curse for “b***h” that you’re thinking of is actually spelled “puneta”

    • Ok, both of you are incorrect about the word “punta”. “Punta,” in every Spanish-speaking country is “point.”

      The word “puneta” is vulgar, but it does not mean “b**ch.” The word for b**ch is “puta”, without the “n”.

      Please, if you don’t know Spanish very well, don’t try to define or describe Spanish words without first doing your research.

      • Loida Cotto on

        Great, you arr oartly correct. Punta can mean point. It has variois translations…stitch as in sew. Puñeta in some hispanic cultures is vulgar. However in other hispanic/latino cultures puñeta is the cuff of a man’s shirt. Thus the vulgar act can get involved. In addition, you are 100% correct in stating to others, if you don’t know, do not make it fact.

    • The city of Lynchburg got its name from it’s founder, John Lynch, who at 17 established a ferry across the James river which opened the way for commerce and growth of the area. It has absolutely nothing to do with lynchings!!! By the way…it’s a great city nestled in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains…world renowned sites, exciting outdoor recreation and more…check us out at http://www.discoverlynchburg.org and come for a visit.

  4. Pennsylvania has a few other honorable mentions:

    – Slippery Rock

    – Muddy Creek

    – Weedville

    – Mars

    – Big Beaver

    – Dubois (pronounced "Do-Boys")

  5. here in australia there places called stringybark, broke, and even big long words i cant pronouce. but overall this list is good!

  6. I'm reminded of the town of Dildo in Canada, which even has "Dildo Days" whatever they may be!

    "Located in Upper Trinity South, Dildo is a very historic place for Newfoundland tourism. Dildo was settled in the early 1800's by Reids, Prettys, and Smiths. During the 1990's, these names were still predominant names in the community. Every summer Dildo sponsors Dildo Days which is a community celebration and a Newfoundland tourism destination."

  7. Next to my hometown there are three villages, one in the valley, one half way up the hill and one on the hilltop. They’re called “Unterhöll”, “Mitterhöll” and “Oberhöll”: Lower, Middle and Upper Hell. But Thomasgschieß (lit.: Thomas’ Shitting) next to them isn’t bad either.

    • Hey Jim, don’t forget that High Point is between Horneytown and Climax. (as if it was a running narrative). Heading east past Raleigh, there is that little spit in the road called Lizard Lick. Yuck!

      I would also like to mention a couple towns in northern Arkansas. Flippin and Accident.

      And of course, lets not forget the town that named themselves after a TV game show, Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.

  8. I had business in a city near Atlanta called Cumming, GA. Is it any wonder the residents say the live in Forsyth County.

  9. please.. I live in Cumming, Geargia..
    not to mention, there’s also a Boozeville up north and Butts county down south.. >_>

  10. Wow! Hahah,,,,my friend is from Dildo in Newfoundland!! theres towns in saskatchewan called
    Elbow, Cereal, Eyebrow, and Fiske!! haha and im proud to be from elbow

  11. How about Hell-For-Certain, KY, Toad Suck, AR, or Sugar Tit, SC?

    then we get to the international towns…

    Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales
    Peniscola, Spain
    Cumbum, Indonesia
    Sexi, Peru
    Dildo, NL Canada
    the combinations are endless!

  12. Here in North Carolina we have all sorts of interesting and unusual names.
    Conetoe (pronounced Co Nay Toe… It’s Indian I think)
    Lizard Lick (yeah, really!)
    Bahama (not weird, just cool!)
    Duck
    Welcome
    Whynot
    Coolemee
    Middlesex (Grin)
    Turkey
    Icard
    Welcome & we got Thankful
    Climax (should be next to Middlesex! lol)
    Gay
    We have the Bat Cave (its a little town in the mountains)
    We got some really out there names for little towns and the sort. Leave it to North Carolina! lol

  13. You might not be able to say “it’s hotter than Hell”, but given how cold Michigan can get, you can always point out Hell, MI when people say that hell is likely to freeze over first.

  14. Do any residents from No. 9 own any dogs ? Does Bugs Bunny live in No. 6 ? And do 7,3,2 and 1 have any escort services ?

  15. In NC, the ppl who live in Boogertown, NC will not use the town name. They consider it to be a racist comment. Typically, African-Americans live there. That name a long time ago was used as a deragatory comment about where lots of pplof color lived.

  16. Lynchburg, VA
    Also in the city is John Lynch bridge named after slave master that perfected how to keep people in slavery centuries later.

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