Top 10 Animals That Are The Wrong Color

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Animals normally come in one color scheme, due to the fact that they’ve evolved to be as coordinated with their environment as possible. Standing out or being different is oftentimes a death sentence. Nature is a cruel mistress though, which is why we have animals like these.

10. The White Gorilla

white-gorilla

Gorillas are like nature’s way of saying evolution screwed us over. We may have the ability to drive cars, play video games, and work button-fly jeans, but gorillas have the ability to beat you to death with your own soul. With that in mind, Snowflake is not a name you’d give to a gorilla, yet somebody totally did because, like a Snowflake, this particular gorilla was as white as a ghost’s passport photo. Not to mention every photo of him was so cute, men have to actively fight their bodies natural instinct to grow ovaries.

9. Pink Dolphins

pinkdolphin

Although given the unofficial nickname of “the clowns of the sea” by Lenny from The Simpsons, dolphins are anything but. What they should be famous for is being one of the few animals that kill for fun, and for having a really messed up sex life. But one thing everyone knows is that they’re dolphin-colored, unless of course they’re Amazon River Dolphins, which come in pink. Nice work, nature. That’s just what we needed: an animal capable of murder and rape that’s the same color as an 8-years-old’s bedroom. As if dolphins needed another reason to be angry.

8. Purple Squirrel

purple-squirrel

Squirrels are awesome. They’re the only animal on Earth that looks like it’s constantly sitting on a really fuzzy throne, and how can you not love that? Now normally, they come in two colors red and grey. The word “normally” was used because, according to legend and against all logic, they also apparently come in purple. Wikipedia actually lists several recorded cases of purple squirrels, none of which have an explanation as to how they became purple. You see this, science? This is where our money should be going.

7. Two-Toned Lobster

lobster-two-face

In the wild, lobsters come in a wide variety of colors: green, purple and even bright blue. In fact, the one color they don’t come in is red, which is caused by cooking them. That, in turn, causes them to sound like they’re screaming, because sometimes mere cooking isn’t exciting enough.

The above lobster, named Two-Face (mere coincidence, we’re sure) was the result of a 1-in-50 million roll of the DNA dice, giving him the appearance of being exactly half-cooked. This, ironically saved him from being wholly cooked and then eaten: proof that being good-looking gives you all the perks, even if you’re a lobster.

6. The Chimera Cat

cat-two-face

You probably saw a picture of Venus The Kitten making its rounds on the Internet earlier this year. And we’re not surprised; the Internet has a well-known hard on for cats. A lobster that looks half-cooked is kind of cool, but a cat with two faces, complete with different colored eyes, is going to melt a whole bunch of servers.

The coloring is the result of chimerism which, if you’re really interested in, you can read all about here, but the basic gist is they killed two cats and stuck them together. Kinda like Sid from Toy Storyonly with flesh-and-blood animals instead of secretly-anthropomorphic pieces of plastic.

5. Black Tigers

black-tiger-cub

White tigers, in addition to being Tommy the White Power Ranger’s animal of choice, is also critically endangered. Black tigers go one step further, being even rarer than actual Power Rangers, and are the result of a genetic defect. The most awesome part, though, is that this little cub has two white siblings, meaning that, when they walk together, they look like one of them is being followed by a fuzzy little shadow. That also means one of them doesn’t have a shadow, which only makes them more badass.

4. Ghost Goldfish

white-goldfish

You expect a goldfish to be one color: GOLD. It’s in their freaking name, after all. But names aren’t an exact indicator of what to expect from something, as my Spanish cousin Karlos del Enormodong would strongly attest.

Goldfish, at any time in their life and without reason, can change color. This can range from a simple dulling of their normally vivid orange, right up to losing any color whatsoever, which is when they become ghost fish. Well that’s what they should be called. You know, to freak out the kids.

3. Rainbow Pigeons

painted-pigeons

Pigeons, AKA gutter birds, AKA rats with wings, AKA flying disease sacks, aren’t well liked, and for very good reason. They’ve just got no style. Also, they’re filthy and contain more disease than the collective cast of Jersey Shore. But one guy apparently thought it was the style thing mostly, and straight-up painted a whole punch of pigeons in Venice.

Taking the adage “you can’t polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter” to heart, the artist painted several pigeons a multitude of colors, in an attempt to make people change their perceptions of the birds. Because nothing screams “not at all a pest” like violently flicking paint chips in your face, whenever it flies away from your latest attempt to pet it. Your fault for wanting to pet the damn thing, by the way.

2. White Ravens

three-white-ravens

Ravens are considered an omen in some areas of society, which is no surprise since they’re mostly famous for harassing the bejeezus out of Edgar Allen Poe. With their shadowy figures, and beady little shark eyes, it’s no wonder people fear them.

If you’re one of those people then worry no more, because we’re going to cure you of your irrational fear of devil birds, by introducing you to these little guys, named Tic, Tac, and Toe, because at least one part of their story had to be utterly adorable. They were nursed to health after being found malnourished and on the brink of death. The cause of this was likely a series of attacks from other, more normally colored ravens, who did not accept their white brethren. Damn reverse racist birds.

1. Stripeless Zebra

zebra-white

Zebras are known for exactly one thing: having stripes. So, wouldn’t a stripeless zebra technically be a horse? That goes against everything I’ve ever been taught. When we first learn the alphabet, a zebra is the go-to animal for the letter Z. What is this thing then? A Z? An H? A Zh? How would pronounce that anyway? Oh Lord, I don’t know what colors even are any more.


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9 Comments

  1. Louis Alexandre Simard on

    First of all congrats on a cool article. I loved dolphins and had heard that the might have a murderous streak in them so I followed the link you provided. To be fair the author of the article closes the text by saying that we might never know the reason why those purpose and juveniles were killed. But if its true and they to kill just for fun I would like to know if its a generalize behavior cuz if so that would surpass even us humans. We kill a lot, for war, religion, territories, revenge, money, drugs but nobody really likes killing except psychopaths and we can’t judge the whole human race from a couple hundred thousands psychopaths who contrary to regular people do wake up in the morning with the envy and intention of killing if they are not treated. So I a way would it may that all dolphins are psychopats or just that one school that killed the purpoise

    • i maybe goin a bit mad, but i really like the idea of dolphins being psychopaths!

      In essence, i firmly believe dolphins are actually gay sharks, and tbh that somehow makes them that little bit more scary imo. everybody loves a gay psychopath 😀

    • The subject matter for the articlea was interesting in and of itself, but I was very disappointed in the writer. I don’t like supposition stated as fact. Science doesn’t *know* that dolphins kill for fun, only that they can and ocasionally do. Chimerism is about killing two individuals and sticking them together. That idea is disgusting and I find it insulting that the author was so ignorant that they didn’t bother explaining it in an intelligent manner. And a zebra is a zebra reguardless of color. In my opinion the author was trying to be edgy and came off sounding mean.and stupid.

  2. Rainbow pigeons are cool! Btw, squirrels can also be black. I’m from Ireland, and was on exchange in vancouver last year. When I arrived, my mind was blown by the fact their squirrels were black. And everyone else from Europe said the same. We’d never heard of them in our lives, which to Canadians must have been like us never having heard of white cats

  3. Being a cat-lover (which I wholeheartedly admit), I think Venus is precious! I got two kitties that look like each half of her separately. Like LOLCats, say, I can has 2 colors!

  4. I’m originally from SE Nebraska, US. The common squirrels there are fluffy well-fed and brown, sometimes mahogany. But we also have, particularly in my neighborhood, all black squirrels. They’re skittish but curious. Not until I moved to the south had I ever seen the scrawny gray variety.

  5. It’s prophecy… Native Americans… Began 1994 I believe with white buffalo calf… Many such occurrences frequently, great time to be alive ??

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