More than any other type of music, hip hop relies on stage names to help sell the artist to the public.? Usually, these names are derived from childhood experiences, and are designed to sound utterly bad-ass.? For real, even if you had no idea who Ghostface Killa or the Notorious B.I.G. were, would you screw with someone named that?? Thought not.
Sadly, the name game is sometimes played?badly, and the result is a nickname that neither sounds cool, nor is based upon anything cool.? All the swagger and gesturing in the world cannot change the sad bottom line: that we?re expected to take these people seriously, and just plain can?t.
10.? Puff Daddy
Sean Combs?s original name is derived from his childhood nickname, ?Puffy?.? Immediately, you have to assume nothing awesome inspired a nickname like that, and by God are you ever right.? He was given that name because, when he got angry, he would huff and puff his cheeks out like a bad cartoon character.? And that?s it; he was Puffy from there on out.? No amount of adding ?Daddy? to the end, sampling Sting, or pretending to be a pimp can change the fact that, as a child, he made ballooney faces when he got teased.
9.? Snoop Dogg
There are two stories surrounding Snoop?s nickname, and they?re both pretty damn silly.? Story #1 says that young Calvin Brodus loved Snoopy the dog.? Just loved, loved, loved him.? So his mother started calling him Snoopy, which might be better than growing up named after Garfield, but not by much.
The other story is just sad.? In this tale, Calvin?s mama decided her darling boy looked just like Snoopy the dog and so she started calling him Snoopy.? Man, it?s bad enough to look like ANY dog, much less a deformed cartoon beagle who dances by running in place on two gigantic feet.? No wonder Snoop smokes so much.? Anything to kill the memories.
8.? Posdnuos
How the HELL do you pronounce this one?? Paws-duh-nose?? Pose-dee-new-aws?? Mor-on-ic?? Probably the last one.? This De La Soul member chose his fake name because it?s Sound Sop spelled backwards.? Great!? So, what the frig IS a Sound Sop?? Well, Sound was Psoadhqaksjdsad?s DJ name back in high school, and ?sop? is evidently slang for left-over.? Maybe in his head it is, but a quick venture over to dictionary.com reveals that a sop is a piece of bread used for dipping in liquid.? So if you hate rap but love dinner, Posdnuos is the MC for you!
It?s actually too bad he?s gone on record saying all that crap abut leftovers; soaking up music like a sop of bread is actually a neat metaphor.? Oh well, he?s stuck with what he said.? Shame he didn?t show up fifteen years later; he could?ve called himself DJ Spongebob.? It actually would?ve sounded less silly, and probably would have gotten him more over with the kids. ??Plus, he wouldn?t have to deal with clowns like us who notice sop?s #4 definition: ?a weak-willed or spineless person,? and showcase it for cheap giggles.
7.? Bun B
Haven?t heard of Bun B?? That?s OK; your life will go on.? And once you realize why he calls himself that, you?ll be even more eager to move on.? The Bun?? It?s not a hamburger bun, so no food-related raps for you.? It?s not a ?dat ass? reference thank God; it?s beyond unoriginal to talk about asses in hip-hop by this point.? Also, it sounds like a Family Feud euphemism.
So, what DOES Bun mean?? Bunny.? Yes, as in the fluffy, adorable animal that chews on carrots and curtains indiscriminately.? And the B?? No real reason, actually.? It was just a letter that no other local MC was using.? This is what counts for originality with some people.? He should?ve at least lied and says it stood for Bugs.? Sure, he might have gotten sued by Warner Brothers, but at least he would have street cred with the old-timey cartoon crowd.
6.? Flo Rida
He lives in Florida.? That?s literally what his name means.? It?s nothing about his word flow, Aunt Flo, Flo The Progressive Insurance Girl , flow flow flow your boat, or anything else.? He took his home state, and split it in two.? That has to have set some kind of Guinness record for utter laziness, right?
He?s just lucky he lived in a state with a name that lends itself to such clever separation.? Ha Waii is just stupid.? Teck Sas?? Sounds like a Carmen Sandiego villain.? Massa Chusetts?? Just a wee bit racist.? Why Oming?? That state would need an actual population before rappers could go around naming themselves after it.
5.? MEMPHIS Bleek
The origin of this name can be traced all the way back to Bleek?s stupid little head.? Apparently, he had no childhood experiences to draw on when selecting his identity so he went down another hip-hop route: taking a word and making an incredibly forced acronym out of it.? In this case, MEMPHIS, which is a city in the same continent he was born in and that’s about it, suddenly stands for, ?Making Easy Money Pimpin? Hoes In Style.?? Remember what we said earlier about how talking about asses in rap is horrendously unoriginal?? Well, this goes AT LEAST quintuple for bragging about how much of a pimp you are.? Also, real pimps go to jail, since what they do is illegal.? Still feel like bragging?
4.? Jay-Z
In addition to being one of the few rappers to ever be photographed with a ?big ol’ toothy politician grin, Jay-Z is also one of the few rappers with a cool-sounding name that started as something lame and cruddy.? Seems back in the day, he was known as Jazzy.? Sadly, this did not mean he could toot a clarinet with the best of ?em, but rather that he?well?was jazzy.? Somehow.? Look, just roll with it; we can?t get to the next paragraph if you?re still hung up on the whole Jazzy thing.? We gotta move on.
So Jazzy eventually transmogrified into Jay-Z, fair enough.? But Mr. Carter rightly didn?t feel that was an awesome enough backstory, so word started going around that his name was actually a tribute to the J and Z subways lines that intersected near his childhood neighborhood of Brooklyn.? Hey, that sounds neat and clever right?? WRONG.? The J-Z lines weren?t intersected until the late 80?s, well after Mr. Carter finished high school, and long after he started rapping and calling himself Jay-Z.? So now his nickname?s origin sucks AND he?s a liar.? Poor guy; he?ll just have to console himself with his millions upon millions of dollars, smoking hot wife, universal respect as an artistic?genius, and ridiculously-named baby girl. ?Hope he makes it.
3.? Ludacris
Much like “MEMPHIS Bleek”, this name is based on purest fantasy, not to mention rampant stupidity.? See, Ludacris has a split personality, and his second side is just so crazy and ridiculous you have no idea.? Well, he is pretty wacky, we?ll give him that.? But why Ludacris then, and not Crazy or Wacky or MC Loony Tunes?
Because his real name is Chris.? Cris.? Ludacris.? This makes no sense, for one simple reason: ?Ludacris? was supposed to be the rapper?s other personality.? Yet that personality?s name is Chris too? ?That?s not how it works.? It?s not just you with a dash of nutty.? It?s a totally different person inside of you, so if ?Chris? had a real split personality issue, we?d all be buying albums from Ludabetty or Ludalittlesuziedownthestreet.? It would probably be an improvement too.
2.? P. Diddy
Oh hi, Mr. Combs!? So glad you could join us again. ?Yes, Puff Daddy went from one awful nickname with a crappy origin to an even worse one, basically overnight.? After he was implicated in a shooting at a nightclub back in 2001, Puffy dropped a veritable bombshell: he was no longer Puff Daddy.? See, that name had garnered too many negative connotations, and he wanted to get away from all that.? So from here on in he would be known as P. Diddy.? Absolutely nothing would change about him per se, but he had a fresh new name that had nothing to do with guns.? It did, however, have everything to do with rampant retardation and a complete lack of explanation.? Eh, it?s a start.
Wait, it gets better!? A couple years later, P. Diddy announced yet another name change.? This time P. Diddy magically became?Diddy.? The reasoning behind this is pure Puff Diddy Dad Daddy Puffy Dad Puff: the ?P? was separating him from his fans.? Apparently, his fans only made it to the 15th letter of the alphabet before giving up, so good on him for being mindful of this crippling learning disability.? But now he has to dump the ?Y? at the end and just be Didd.? That way all his fans can confidently say their hero?s name and act like they know what they?re talking about.
1.? Kenn Starr
No.? Wrong.? SHENANIGANS.? Google and Wikipedia give us no other name for this guy, but we cannot possibly believe he is actually named Kenn Starr.? No, he had to have selected that name, both due to having nothing else in his creative banks, and also so he could name his album ?The Starr Report? and then grin widely at his buddies so they know just how clever he is.? That name wouldn?t even be witty and topical in 1998, never mind in 2006, when the album actually dropped.? That?s like the next hot young star calling himself OJ.
Oh, and in the off-chance that IS his real name?? This is why nicknames exist in the first place.? Real names are almost never bad-ass enough to work, unless your name is Tupac.? Even Will Smith called himself Fresh Prince until he was so obnoxiously rich he simply didn?t give a crap anymore.? So please, try again with a better name, and see what happens.? KENNY.
36 Comments
put more effort into this and re do it. bad choices
Ok…you might think “Puff” deserves two counts, but I will best the #1 & #2 spot with one that I am sure EVERYONE has possibly forgotten about. How about the rapper who goes or went by the name Kid Cuddy? Ok, from what I was told by a few friends from the South, the name Cuddy has vaginal connotations behind it. Now please tell me, WHO IN THERE RIGHT DAMN MIND wants to be named not only Kid but a female organ as well?
First of all, it’s spelled cudi. Second, his real name is Scott Mescudi. Mes”cudi”. His rap name was first Lil’ Scott coming from his name Scott Mescudi, and then it switched to Super Kid, and then it went to Kid Mescudi to Kid Cudi. Check your facts.
Really, pick on rap? That’s like picking on a retarded kid.
True dat dog
u my homies now
most of those rappers are rich more than i can say to you broke people apparently they are smarter than you
there was an article in the source about Jaz-O the originator. he was Jay’s mentor and best friend, without Jaz, Jay would not have got to where he is today… real talk!
so he basically stole the name!
LMAO!!!!! please, if Jaz-O taught Jay-Z all he knows why’s he broke?
cause he didn’t understand the business side of it… a screwed himself out of a contract in the early days that would’ve made him some money.
and money changes people tell me why jay-z has never supported his friend?
Nobody said he taught Jay-Z everything he knows. But everyone whoever wrote this silly little article knows, that Jaz-O is the story of how Jay-Z got his name.
If Jaz was smart he would of signed his contract.
Biggie Smalls referred to Puff Daddy as P Diddy and Diddy in his songs… I guess your only off by a few years. In my opinion, getting a nick name from one of the greatest rappers of all time is a little different than making one up in an attempt to seem edgy.
Actually you got Jay Z’s origins down incorrectly. It was a play off his mentor’s, Jaz-O’s, name. Get it together…
Wow lame attempt to be funny without knowing the backgrounds smh no yell?
I’ve heard way worse. 90% of these names aren’t even that bad. Let’s see you try to come up with a unique nickname!!
Do your research!! For Memphis Bleek.. Bleek was a nickname ..his real name is Malik and he’s younger sister as a child couldn’t pronounce she would call him Bleek.
Where did Memphis come from?
Legend has it that he took a trip and loved it so much he added it to his name.
Gonna have to disagree with Posdnuos. It’s classic…
Posdnous (SoundSop) AND Trugoy (Yogurt) of De La Soul used a backwards spelling as their respective “stage names”. At the end of the day, anyone who truly respects the art of Rhyme is far less concerned with the questionable origins of the artist’ name than questionable rap skills. Do an article about Lyrics that make no sense, but for god’s sake PLEASE know what the hell you’re talking about when you do…NEXT time!
Yeah but his rap partners name is better Truegoy, YOGEURT backward
Sounds like another lame white attempt to discredit rap or make it look ignorant and only making YOSELF look ignorant. This its one of the most ridiculous articles ever read.
This is the lamest article I have ever read in a while. I understand you’re trying to be funny or even worse insinuating how ridiculous rappers can be but unfortunately you failed at both attempts. I say if these guys bother you so much stop paying attention to them. I’m sure there’s plenty of non rap music to keep you happy and so “sophisticated”.
In the end, this is just not funny or insightful enough. You don’t have to be a rap historian or even familiar with rap, but if you are going to do a post like this, you cannot be tone deaf to the genre. It just didn’t work. Stick to Hard Rock, Country, Classical or something that you can squeeze a little irony/humor out of. Thanks.
Always thought Stick-Up Kid would be a cool name for a rapper.
The fact that U even did an article on this at all is by far worse of a choice than any of the people in your list made regarding their names……
Just so you know Bun B’s name does originate from Bunny but the B is not random, it’s his first initial: Bernard. Everyone used their initials back then.
I dont understand the point of articles like this. The writer clearly has some sort of anti rap bias so why would they bother writing something like this? Not to mention the fact that half the entries are inaccurate
POSDNOUS STANDS FOR SOUNDS OP
OP is short for OPERATOR
SOUNDS OPERATOR
If u were a Die Hard DE LA SOL FAN U WOULD KNOW THAT
So M&M is not a stupid name huh? Or how about Vanilla Ice? Let me go on.
Haymaker
Bubba Sparks
Machine Gun Kelly
Yela Wolf
Yeah you guessed it!! This is a list of ALL or most of the dumb names of white rappers. I figured I would make things even since this topic is directed at making black rappers look bad.
I’m not sure how you deduced that this article is aimed at making black rappers look bad…
Machine Gun Kelly is a pretty notorious gangster, nothing lame about that moniker.
Don’t forget about Lil Whyte and Riff Raff
This has to be the dumbest thing ive seen…on line
plublisher is obvioously lacks a lot on the hip hop topic
and to have the same candidate in two different numbers really shows the profession in this article.
this is garbage and only used to get “views”…… must be a hipster
anyways get informed and at least research before making yourself look like a fool
and it looks like all your feedback was negative,,,,,,
Ok. Memphis Bleek got his name because he is from Memphis and his real name is Malik. But his little sister could barely pronounce his name and she called him Bleek.
And Flo-Rida has that name because of the way he raps with so many syllables in his verses and its like hes “riding the flow” lol
Bun B got his name because of the Bunny part. LOL. but the B stands for Bernard….. Thats his government name. lol. Bernard.
Snoop Doggs real name is not Calvin. Its Kordazar… lol. Weird huh? And he got it because he loved watching Snoopy on tv.
AND the reason Puff Daddy changed his name to P.Diddy is because Biggie used to call him that.
You cant just make up random facts about people. Know what youre posting before you put up misleading information about people that make more money than you.
Ignorance at it’s best…
that was hard to read but I stopped once I read the Ludacris one because that was just plain stupid…you said he should of named himself wacky or crazy or MC Looney Tunes intsead of Ludacris lmao and the reasoning behind was just extremely retarded..sorry