Top 10 Sheldon Cooper Quotes

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The Big Bang Theory is a television comedy that premiered in 2007 and is still currently running. This hilarious comedy has won several awards since its beginning. Jim Parsons, who plays the stubborn and incredibly intelligent Sheldon Cooper, has also won numerous awards over the years. The character Sheldon Cooper is known for his off-the-wall comments and hilarious quotes. There are so many to choose from, but here is my list of the top 10 quotes spoken by Sheldon Cooper:

10. I’ll be back before this banana hits the ground. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom! Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!

This quote was exclaimed by Sheldon in the eighteenth episode of Season 2 called “The Work Song Nanocluster”. In this episode, Penny started a new business selling hair barrettes called “penny blossoms”. After she received an order for 1,000 penny blossoms, Penny, Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj stayed up all night making them. Penny convinced Sheldon to drink a cup of coffee to help wake him up, rendering him extremely hyper. As soon as they were done making the 1,000 penny blossoms, she received another order for 1,000. After the rest of the group went to bed, leaving Penny alone, Sheldon appeared wearing his Flash costume. After asking for more coffee and Penny telling him they ran out, Sheldon decided that he would go buy more coffee, responding “I’ll be back before this banana hits the ground. Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom! Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!”

9. They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that’s why they hated me.

Sheldon and His Mom Sitting At Kitchen Table

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This quote was said by Sheldon in the first episode of Season 3 called “The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation”. At the beginning of the episode, Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj returned from a three-month expedition to the Arctic Circle. But when Howard and Raj revealed to Sheldon that they tampered with his experiment, he was so devastated that he resigned from the university and ran away to his mother’s house in Texas. While Sheldon and his mother were eating, they reminisced about old times when Sheldon was a child and the problems he had getting along with the neighbor kids. Sheldon proceeded to explain “That was different. They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that’s why they hated me”.

8. What computer do you have and please don’t say a white one?

This quote was asked by Sheldon in the sixteenth episode of Season 1 called “The Peanut Reaction”. When the gang finds out that Leonard has never had a birthday party, Penny plans a surprise party for him. Penny then takes Sheldon to buy Leonard a birthday present, where he decides to purchase a wireless router. Just as he is about to pay for Leonard’s gift, a woman stops Sheldon and asks his advice on a peer network and range extenders. A man overhears the conversation and proceeds to ask Sheldon about hard drives. When Sheldon asks the man what type of bus he has available, the man explains that he drives a Chevy Cavalier. After making a snide remark, Sheldon asks him “What computer do you have and please don’t say a white one?”

7. Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Howard sneaking up to tap Raj on should in bug laboratory

Embedding disabled, to view the videos visit our YouTube playlist of Top 10 Sheldon Cooper quotes.

This quote was said by Sheldon in the second episode of Season 3 called “The Jiminy Conjecture”. While Sheldon, Howard and Raj are eating in Sheldon’s apartment, they hear the sound of a cricket. Sheldon claims that based on the number of chirps per minute and the temperature in the room, it has to be a snowy tree cricket, while Howard is certain it’s an ordinary field cricket. After catching the cricket, they bring it to Professor Crawley’s laboratory for his insight on the insect. But while they’re waiting for the professor, Raj explains that bugs freak him out, at which time Sheldon comments with “Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic”.

6. Hard as this may be to believe, it’s possible that I’m not boyfriend material.

This quote by Sheldon was made in the twelfth episode of Season 5 called “The Shiny Trinket Maneuver”. During their date night at the Cheesecake Factory, Amy told Sheldon exciting news about a paper she wrote only to have him change the topic onto him. Penny noticed that Sheldon’s lack of interest in the news upset Amy, so she gave him advice on how to be a good boyfriend. After their date, Sheldon was in his apartment playing a video game when Leonard noticed that something was bothering him. Leonard proceeded to ask him what was wrong and Sheldon responded with “Hard as this may be to believe, it’s possible that I’m not boyfriend material”. Leonard went on to say sarcastically “Glad I was sitting down for that”. I think every fan of The Big Bang Theory was glad they were sitting down for that statement.

5. Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And, as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

This quote was said by Sheldon in the eighth episode of Season 2 called “The Lizard-Spock Expansion”. At the beginning of the episode, Sheldon and Raj couldn’t agree on what to watch on television. Sheldon wanted to watch Saturn 3, while Raj wanted to watch Deep Space 9. Unable to come to a compromise, Raj suggested that they play “rock-paper-scissors”, but Sheldon explained that “rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock” is better because with the traditional “rock-paper-scissors”, players familiar with each other tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. Since Raj has never heard of the new complex game, Sheldon went on to explain the rules: “Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And, as it always has, rock crushes scissors”.

4. Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr.

This quote, or shall I say song, was sung by Sheldon in the eleventh episode of Season 1 called “The Pancake Batter Anomaly”. This episode begins with Sheldon and Leonard playing 3-D chess, when Penny walks in and says she’s back from a trip to Nebraska. She proceeds to tell them that her entire family was sick over the weekend, at which time Sheldon starts acting frantically spraying disinfectant in the air. Sheldon has a germ phobia and is now certain he will get sick, even though Penny shows no signs of the flu. The next morning, Sheldon awakes with the flu and Leonard scrambles to get out the apartment as quick as he can so he doesn’t have to take care of him. When Sheldon calls Leonard, he lies and says he’s at work, so Sheldon decides to go to the Cheesecake Factory for a bowl of soup. Penny brings Sheldon home from the Cheesecake Factory, but he makes her stay and take care of him, at which time he requests that she sings “Soft Kitty” – a song his mother sang to him whenever he was sick. Since Penny doesn’t know the song, Sheldon teaches it to her: “Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr”.

3. Knock, knock, knock, Penny! Knock, knock, knock, Penny! Knock, knock, knock, Penny!

Every time Sheldon knocks on Penny’s door, he has to knock three times and then says her name. But he doesn’t do it just once, he does it three times. He does this in several episodes and there is a YouTube video that is a collection of clips of the many times we have heard the famous quote “Knock knock knock, Penny!” (Embedding was disabled, to view it click here.)

2. I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Sheldon has claimed “I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested” several times since the beginning of The Big Bang Theory. The video clip above is from the second episode of Season 3 called “The Jiminy Conjecture”. At the beginning of the episode, Sheldon, Howard and Raj were at the comic book store. Howard argued that Sheldon was wrong about Wolverine being born with bone claws. Sheldon proceeded to respond with another favorite quote: “Don’t you think if I were wrong I’d know it?”. After Raj tells Howard to give it up because he’s arguing with a crazy person, Sheldon went on to declare “I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.”

1. Bazinga!

“Bazinga!” is probably the most recognizable quote by Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory. He has also said “A: I rarely kid. And B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word Bazinga!”. The most famous “Bazinga” scene is in the fourteenth episode of Season 3 called “The Einstein Approximation”. In this episode, Sheldon is stuck on a physics problem and can’t figure out the solution, so he ends up in a kids’ ball pit late at night, using the balls as carbon atoms, protons and neutrons. When Leonard tried to get him to leave, Sheldon dove in the balls and when he re-emerged, he shouted “Bazinga!”.

What’s Your Favorite Sheldon Cooper Quote?

Share the best Sheldon Cooper quotes in the comments below and we might add them to the playlist.

by Jocelyne LeBlanc


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25 Comments

  1. Sheldon: “Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was 14, and I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it’s more likely that you’ll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mâché volcanoes with baking soda lava. In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics played a cruel trick on you, a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? [No one in the classroom says anything] Of course not. I weep for the future of science; now if you’ll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out.”

  2. Sheldon Cooper is endearing to people with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) tendencies and also who can be control freaks. Like me. Such as I. Myself included. There, that should cover all the angles.

  3. this is one of my favorites by Sheldon from The Peanut Reaction the last 2 lines by Sheldon (to me) are gold.
    Scene: The store. Sheldon is on the in-store computer.
    Sheldon: Okay, we don’t have that in stock, but I can special order it for you.
    Penny (with shop assistant, points at Sheldon): Him.
    Assistant: Excuse me, sir, you don’t work here.
    Sheldon: Yes, well, apparently neither does anyone else.
    Penny: Sheldon, we have to go.
    Sheldon: Why?
    Penny: Well, for one thing, we’re late for Leonard’s birthday party. And for another, I told him to call security.
    Sheldon (to customer): Good luck. (To assistant) By the way, a six year-old could hack your computer system.
    Penny: Keep walking.
    Sheldon: Yeah, 1-2-3-4 is not a secure password.

  4. The best part of Sheldon quote #9 is his mother’s response, spoken her soft, Texas drawl: “Oh, baby, they knew very well why they hated you.”

    Love BBT! Great list! Nice and fun list, which I appreciate. It’s been getting rather morbid over at listverse.com!

  5. the idea for a list of Cooper quotes was great. But the execution only gets a 3 out of 10. Sheldon comes up with many great, quotable lines; this was the best we could come up with?

    • I guess it’s one’s point of view… we’d all have our own top ten favorite Sheldon Cooper quotes as demonstrated by the comments. Fun list, anyway!

  6. My favourite Sheldon quote was that if Bill Gates had concentrated more on what he was doing and less on starving children in Africa, then Vista would have been a lot better,

  7. In the pilot, the first time penny met Leonard and Sheldon :

    Penny : “So what do you guys do for fun around here ?”
    Sheldon : “Well today we tried masturbating for money”

  8. *after the gang is suprised by Sheldon’s knowledge of football*

    “I grew up in Texas. I’m very well versed in Football. I also I’m proficient in knowledge of how to fry meats that aren’t chicken as though they were chicken. “

  9. All I can say is that you are a genius. Sheldon is probably the most liked and loved character on the whole show, but you managed to capture the essence of who he is with only ten quotes. My favorite to quote is, “bazinga.” My favorite of all is, “I’m not crazy; my mother had me tested.” You even had the right order! My DISH coworker buddies come over to watch TBBT each week and we have our “nerdfest.” I used to get so frustrated when they would get to my house and there weren’t any recordings because my kids deleted the timers. Now I have PrimeTime Anytime on my DISH Hopper DVR; that way I’m not embarrassed because I set all four of the major networks to automatically record each evening.

  10. This is my favourate one

    leonard: I have a problem
    Sheldon: Does it affect me in any way?
    leonard: No
    Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

  11. Sheldon Cooper Quotes on

    My favorite Sheldon Cooper quote is when he says to Howard

    “I must say, Howard, I think a detailed letter to MIT describing your current circumstances might entitle you to a refund on your Master’s degree.”

    LMAO that always cracks me up. Planning to use it on a bunch of my friends in this down economy, just to cheer them up – hopefully it’s not considered insensitive.

  12. I would love to see a clip from The Accelerated Launch episode where Sheldon asks Leonard for advice on women. Amy is doing an experiment on him to increase his affection for her by being nice to himand he is uncomfortable with it. Leonard moves on to his own problem and Sheldon says “so we just complain about our women without anyone offering solutions? No wonder women are winning.”

  13. (In reference to the chronic difficulty that senior citizens have with working with new technology) ” I’m not saying that they should all be publicly flogged, but perhaps if we made an example of one or two of them,it might motivate the rest of them to try harder”

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