These days, everyone loves a Vampires. Vampires are romantic and seductive. You almost forget that any one could actually consider them to be … monsters. With the release of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, we thought that it might be good to see where old Honest Abe ranked on the list. Also, hasn’t the time come to give some sort of tribute to those with the thankless job of attempting to rid the world of beings that could possibly drink you dry?
10. Bugs Bunny
Allow us to direct you to the 1963 short Transyvania 6-5000.. Before Jeff Goldbloum had a rare misfire and sullied the good name of Transylvania 6-5000, Bugs Bunny showed that dealing with vampires can be a lot like a cruel kid pulling the wings off of flies just to watch them squirm. Bugs uses magic on the vampire Count Blood Count to not only make the vampire never want to mess with Bugs again, Count Blood Count literally does not want eternal life by the end of the short. Anyone can stake a vampire in the heart or cut off a vampire’s head. How many vampire fighters have you seen that will send a love sick two-headed vulture to chase away a creature of the night?
9. Abraham Lincoln
Putting Abraham Lincoln at number 9 on the list is not a slight to Mr. Lincoln, it is a tribute to those who pass in front of him. According to the ‘secret diaries’ published by Seth Grahame-Smith in 2010, Abraham Lincoln was tormented by bloodsuckers at an early age. When Thomas Lincoln (Abraham’s father), failed in a debt to a vampire, they killed Abraham’s mother. Vampires also killed Abraham’s grandfather. Lincoln then discovered that southern plantation owners (who were vampires) were harvesting slaves as a ready source of food. That would be when our beloved sixteenth president took an ax and made the supposedly eternal population his own personal cherry tree!
8. Gabriel Van Helsing
In 1887, the Vatican tasked Gabriel Van Helsing with protecting the last of the Valerious clan. The Valerious’ had sworn to fight the murderous and vile Count Dracula. Nearing the end of their bloodline, the Valerious clan had not killed Dracula and needed his death to enter Heaven out of purgatory. Van Helsing is an amnesiac who has a long history with Dracula himself (possibly for centuries), and with the aid of the last Valerious (Anna), Frankenstein’s monster, and a friar named Carl makes good on the Valerious’ promise.
In the Underworld series, Lucian is the first to be born a lycan. Lucian can change from human to werewolf form at will. This makes Lucian valuable to the vampire elder Viktor. Viktor uses Lucian to create an army of Lycan protectors. For nearly two hundred years, Lucian served Victor. Lucian then fell in love with Viktor’s daughter Sonja. Their marriage spawns a series of events that not only led to Sonja’s death but also to Lucian hunting Vampires well into the modern day.
Blade was born to a prostitute who had been feasted upon by the vampire Deacon Frost. Blade grew up to be a half vampire/half human hybrid possessing both prolonged life as well as blood lust. For his condition, Blade hunted the vampiric kind that created him with relentless efficiency. Blade uses an arsenal of vampire killing weapons, however he usually prefers to kill the vampires personally with his sword. Prominent vampires that Blade targets are Frost as well as Dracula himself. Blade is known to vampiric kind as the ‘Daywalker.’
5. The Frog Brothers
Raised in the vampire infested town of Santa Carla, California, the Frog Brothers (Edgar and Allan Frog) see their destiny to destroy Vampires as children. After eliminating a pack of vampires who would become known as Lost Boys, the Frog brothers set out on destroying the eternal ‘head vampire.’ Along the way, Allan Frog himself is turned into a vampire. Edgar continues to hunt and destroy vampires alone. The Frog Brothers later re-unite to destroy a ‘head vampire’ that grants Allan Frog his salvation. However, the Frog Brothers mission may never be truly done.
4. Anita Blake
Anita Blake is the heroin of the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series by Laurell K. Hamilton. In an alternate reality St. Louis, Anita Blake is what is known as an ’animator.’ Blake is a necromancer who can animate, control, and question the dead on their cause of death. In Blake’s world, vampires, werewolves, and fairies are common place. Blake often has to use her skills to track down and destroy murderous vampires to avenge the dead whom Blake has re-animated.
3. Simon Belmont
In the Castlevania series of games, Simon Belmont is the grandson of Trevor Belmont. The Belmont clan stands in eternal opposition to Dracula. The Belmont clan must have eternal vigilance. Destroying Dracula is not enough. You have to be ready for those who would willing resurrect Dracula as well. Simon got his first opportunity at Dracula after Dracula had been resurrected during a ‘Dark Mass’ at Easter. Belmont would pay a price for destroying Dracula at Dracula’s own Castle. Dracula’s death placed a curse on Belmont’s body. This curse would lead to rematches between Belmont and Dracula through time. Belmont not only had to rid the world of Dracula but also his own body of Dracula’s effects. Luckily, Belmont has the family whip.
2. Buffy Summers
In the television series starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as well as the film starring Kristy Swanson and other literature, Buffy Summers is a cheerleaders who is revealed to be a ‘chosen one’ Those that are chosen have the power to defend the world from vampires, werewolves, and all sorts of monsters. In the movie, the threat is vampires. In the television series and ongoing literature, the threat is what is known as a ‘hell mouth.’ The Hellmouth is a gateway in which demons as well as all sorts of monsters can cross over into our world. Buffy leads a plucky gang of misfits to stop the horrors constantly invading her town of Sunnydale. In the TV series, Buffy tested her mettle against Dracula as well.
1. Professor Abraham Van Helsing
The greatest vampire ever created would naturally inspire the greatest vampire hunter. In Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula, Dutch physician Abraham Van Helsing is called to England to study the case of Lucy Westerna. Van Helsing is called by his former student Dr. Jon Seward. Westerna has come under the thrall of Count Dracula and subsequently turned into a vampire. With Van Helsing’s assistance, Westerna is destroyed. Van Helsing then takes a group to Transylvania to track down as well as ultimately destroy Count Dracula. In subsequent media and literature, Van Helsing as well as his family stand against vampires for generations to come. Van Helsing becomes the ‘gold standard’ of names when a vampire needs to be pursued and destroyed.
written by James Ciscell