It’s 2012. Our cell phones are more intelligent than us, we can download more hours of pornography than there are hours in our lives, and flying cars are right around the corner (maybe). And yet video games still have the same flaws they’ve had for years. Flaws that should have been fixed long ago, like……
Author: Mark Hill
Mark Hill
Top Ten Facts About Mark Hill He lives in Calgary, and has a degree in Political Science from the University of Calgary. He’s obsessed with the Calgary Flames, even though they often break his heart. He spends too much time playing video games, because that’s way cooler than being a productive member of society. He doesn’t watch much TV, but he can probably recite every episode of The Simpsons from memory. He’s also a big science fiction fan, just in case it wasn’t already clear he’s a huge nerd. William Gibson is a favourite of his, and he’s seen Blade Runner about a million times. His other favourite authors include H.P. Lovecraft, Kurt Vonnegut and Guy Gavriel Kay. He also enjoys photography. He’s terrible at it, but it makes him feel artsy. The list he’s most proud of is Top 10 Disgusting Shots, because it took hours of painstaking field research. His favourite list on the site is the hilarious Top 10 Amateur Music Videos, and he one day hopes to be just like Denny Blaze. He’s always on the lookout for writing opportunities, and can be reached at [email protected]. Hate mail and sexy talk is also welcome.
2011 was a banner year for video games. It saw the release of Modern Warfare 3, Battlefield 3, and a dozen other indistinguishable shooters, all of them selling millions of copies. And then there were these games. Their sales ranged from “okay” to “embarrassing,” but each took creative risks that paid off. For that, they…
We don’t want to alarm you, but you need to know the horrible truth: sometimes, people on the Internet give bad advice. Through a combination of laziness, ignorance and general idiocy, well-meaning people have tried to write helpful how-to guides and instead produced instructions that will bring nothing but pain and suffering. No matter how…
Thousands upon thousands of stock photos have been taken, so it was inevitable that a few would prove to be a bit weird. But the following strange stock photo pictures don’t just lack any sort of practical purpose—they’re a glimpse into madness. Join us as we try to determine what kind of man says to…
There’s more to the video game industry than the games themselves. Developers, always looking to get more money out of their hard work, routinely turn to merchandising to compliment sales. Usually they’ll just release a standard line-up of shirts and action figures, but now and then they’ll get creative. And by creative we mean insane,…
Video games aren’t usually associated with books—games have yet to reach literature’s level of sophistication in storytelling, and we all know books are for uncoordinated nerds who can’t get kill streaks in Halo. But the two mediums are sometimes combined, and not just into dozens of mediocre Lord of the Rings games. Some very fun…
Everybody likes a good teen comedy, but we can only talk about how awesome The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off are so many times before the Internet is destroyed in a flood of redundancy. So we’ve assembled a list of 10 pretty good teen comedies that may have slipped under your radar, unless…
Finding love is hard, and it’s even harder when you’re only attracted to Asian midgets with Parkinson’s disease and a lisp. In the old days you would have died alone, but thanks to the Internet we now know that no matter how insane your tastes are there’s a community out there that shares them. If…
The pop music industry revolves around using sex appeal to sell songs, so you’d figure they’d be pretty good at it by now. Sure, not every song is going to be a hit, but they’re not going to release any tracks that completely miss the mark, right? If you believe that you haven’t heard any…
The video game industry has pumped out countless accessories over the years. Most are functional but forgettable, the Ray Romanos of the video game world. Some, like the NES Zapper, are iconic. And then there are these ten, which make absolutely no sense. Maybe they were good ideas that went awry, or maybe they’re shameless…
Nowadays, nobody plays board games unless they’re out of alcohol and the Xbox is broken—those simple diversions of paper and plastic just can’t hold our attention in a modern world full of entertainment that’s flashy and action packed. Also, all board games are seemingly designed to produce nothing but anger, misery and broken relationships. Here…
To the serious hockey fan, the Stanley Cup playoffs are more important than holidays, wedding anniversaries and lifesaving surgeries. It’s one of the most intense tournaments in sports, and its lengthy history has produced countless amazing moments. These ten are the greatest of them all. 10. The Goal The 1970 Cup Final was an uneventful…
Fan fiction is perhaps the single strangest method of creative expression ever conceived. Despite the fact that the form is fueled entirely by people incapable of coming up with their own characters, there are works that show a remarkable—and often disturbing—level of creativity. Writers, unchained from the burdens of conventional standards of plot, pacing and…
Another American election has come and gone, and no matter what your political opinions are you have to agree that the 2010 campaign had its fair share of baffling ads. Commercials like the infamous Demon Sheep and “I’m not a witch” became viral hits, but there were plenty of other insane ads out there that…
Astronomy is the cool, sexy field of the scientific world. Sure, biologists and chemists are out there curing diseases or whatever, but they’re just so boring. Meanwhile, astronomers are busy showing us sweet pictures of distant planets and playing around with telescopes the size of buildings. How can you compete with that? You can’t, so…
There’s something magical about the competition that a good sports match provides. No matter what sports you like it’s always exciting to see the teams you support take the field, because the thrill of not knowing whether they’ll win or lose is what makes the experience so great. However, there’s a depressing exception: if you…
Most old video games aren’t worth much money; you can buy yourself a pretty decent collection of games from the 80s with a few bucks and a trip to the flea market. But there are a select few games that are so rare, collectors are willing to pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars for…
Most video games allow you to play as an unstoppable killing machine that can mow down dozens of puny enemies with ease. Horror games, however, are different; they tend to feature weak heroes that must simply try to survive with limited resources. Nothing makes a game scarier than a feeling of extreme vulnerability; although terrifying…
Kids love Halloween: between staying up late, dressing up with their friends and getting a ton of free candy, they always have a great time. But if you’re a parent who had a miserable childhood, or if you just hate your children, then watching them have so much fun can be unpleasant. So why not…
There are a huge number of communities online, and the range of conversation topics is limitless. Say you want to talk about sports—there are plenty of discussion forums out there for you. Interested in vacuum cleaners? There’s a site that has you covered. Looking to find people who love Japanese schoolgirls as much as you…
Is your daily routine at the gym boring you? Is your jogging route not giving you the same satisfaction it once did? And are you tired of athletic events that only last a couple of measly hours? Then it sounds like you need more pain and suffering in your life! Luckily, there are numerous sporting…
YouTube is among the most successful websites of all time. Every day, people are using it to watch 2 billion videos. YouTube users upload hundreds of thousands of videos every day, so a video has to have something special in order to catch the viewer’s attention. That ‘special something’ is usually insanity, as you’ll see…
Hopefully you’re well aware that fast food is unhealthy; it’s just not possible to cram so much salt, grease and deliciousness together and produce anything even remotely good for you. Still, fast food in moderation isn’t going to kill you… unless you happen to eat one of the following, in which case it probably will.…