Top 10 Unsexiest World Records Based Around Sex

World records are there to motivate and inspire us. They challenge us to overcome our limitations and to achieve seemingly impossible feats. On the other hand, there are some world records that are just plain dumb and downright hilarious, but combined with the fascinating element of sex, these world records become ten times more entertaining. Fair warning though: some of these records are quite disturbing, all are chillingly unsexy, but they’re all pretty damn interesting. Such as …

10. Oldest Twin Hookers

For 50 years, Martine and Louise Fokkens worked as prostitutes in Amsterdam. Money was the primary motivation why the twins entered prostitution in the first place. They both came from abusive relationships, and to survive financially they were forced to become hookers.

The twins started hustling at the age of 20, and over half a decade, had sex with 355,000 men, a record that many of us would find disturbingly jaw-dropping. At 70, the twins finally realized that they were too old to execute some acrobatic sexual positions, and decided to quit their jobs.

9. Oldest Male Porn Star

Who says becoming a prolific porn star is only for the young? Shigeo Tokuda proved that the oldies too can excel in this multi-billion dollar industry. Hailing from Japan — the land of kinks — Tokuda started in the porn industry in 1994 at the age of 59. Since then he has never looked back and plans to continue on performing in front of the camera until 2015, when he reaches 80. Tokuda has starred in more than 350 porn flicks, and most, if not all, of his partners are very young girls, young enough to be considered his great-grandchildren.

8. Biggest Vagina

History’s largest human vagina belonged to a Scottish woman named Anna Swan. Born on August 6, 1846, in Nova Scotia, Swan weighed around 18 pounds when she was a baby. At the age of four, she was already 5 feet tall. When she finally hit adulthood, she reached an astounding height of 7 feet and 11.5 inches. It’s estimated that Anna Swan’s vagina measured around 6 inches, or 15 centimeters! This isn’t completely surprising, since she was a giantess and all, but still quite disturbing to imagine.

7. Longest Penis

Almost all men dream of having a longer and bigger penis. But for a New Yorker named Jonah Falcon, having a gigantic dong is not an elusive dream, but an actual reality. Jonah Falcon is the proud owner of the world’s longest penis — when flaccid, his member measures around 8 inches, which is 4 – 5 inches longer than the average. And when fully erect, it reaches a monstrous length of 13.5 inches!

Falcon is bisexual, and claims to have sexual affairs with numerous men and women. Though he enjoys wearing cycling shorts and tight jeans in public to make his gigantic member more noticeable, he has declined numerous offers to perform in porn. Honestly, most porn stars are probably happy to hear the news. There’s big, and then there’s tortuously big. Guess which category Mr. Falcon falls under.

6. Strongest Vagina

Basically, women use their vaginas for two primary activities: giving birth, and sex. However, for a certain Russian gymnast, these things aren’t enough. She has come up with a new, creative way to put her intimate lady parts into good use. After 20 years of intense training and practice, Tatyana Kozhevnikova has mastered the art of lifting heavy objects using only her incredibly strong lady hole. Because of her breathtaking and mind-boggling ability, Guinness has proclaimed her as the owener of the world’s strongest vagina.

So how strong is her hoo-ha? Well, she can easily lift a kettlebell that weighs around 30 pounds, for one thing. Naturally, Tatyana offers online lessons for women who want to strengthen their vaginal muscles. She also offers a class that teaches men how to achieve the perfect butt in just a couple of days. No word on if she teaches men to lift with them as well.

5. Most Severed Penises

It’s an undeniable fact that a man’s penis is sacred to him. It defines his masculinity, and brings color and meaning to his existence. That is why it isn’t surprising to know that many ancient bloodthirsty warriors cut off the phalli of their enemies as a form of punishment. One notorious ruler who practiced this brutal act was King Merneptah of Egypt. In 1300 BC, this cruel king defeated the Libyan army during a war. As punishment, he ordered his men to cut off the dongs of their enemies, setting the world record for the most number of severed penises. So just how many dongs did this evil king ordered to be cut off? More than 13,000.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO BREAK THIS RECORD. EVER.

4. Biggest Orgy Ever

When it comes to bizarre sexual stuff, the Japanese seems to be always on top of the list. They invented the air sex competition, they have the annual Kanamara Matsuri or the Festival of the Penis, and now they hold the world record for having the most number of people having sex in the same place at the same time.

In 2010, 250 men and 250 women gathered in a secluded warehouse and participated in a one-of-a-kind massive group sex. A professional film crew was present at the location to document this hot, sticky event. It’s interesting to note that the whole scene was choreographed and there were, unfortunately, no threesomes, foursomes, or even swapping of partners. Couples only had intercourse with their respective lovers throughout the duration of the orgy — it just happened to be 250 couples at the same time.

3. Longest Masturbation Session

Masturbating every now and then is perfectly fine. In fact, medical experts tell us that doing it regularly can bring numerous health benefits to our bodies. However, one person seemed to take this advice too seriously, and decided to set the world record for the longest fapping session.

Meet Masanobu Sato, a dude from the Land of the “Rising” Sun who he is considered the world’s greatest masturbator. He was able to stimulate himself sexually for a brain-wrecking duration of 9 hours and 58 minutes. He executed this momentous (and scary) achievement during the 9th Annual Masturbate-a-Thon held in San Francisco in 2009. Interestingly, in 2008 , he made his first world record by masturbating for 9 hours and 33 minutes. Even more interestingly, they held more than one Masturbate-a-Thon.

2. Most Orgasms in a Day

An English woman named Zara Richardson holds the world record for having the most number of orgasms in a day, up to 500 at a time! Simple things like sitting in a restaurant, riding a train, driving her car, and even sitting beside someone on a sofa can sexually stimulate her.

How is this even humanly possible? Richardson suffers from a rare medical disorder called Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS). Even the slightest non-sexual stimuli can cause her to achieve powerful orgasms. Some women and men might find this awesome, but Richardson says that her rare condition makes her life miserable. She is unable to do many simple things due to her uncontrollable orgasms, she feels exhausted almost all the time, and worst of all, she has an unhealthy sex life. Having hundreds of orgasms every day makes it difficult for any man to sexually satisfy her.

1. Most Partners in a Day

On October 16, 2004, porn star Lisa Sparxxx achieved a seemingly impossible feat that many of us would find extremely horrifying. On this specific day, Sparxxx had sex with not 100, or even 500 men, but with 919 guys! This event made her the world record holder for having the most number of sexual partners in one day.

Sparxxx desperately wanted to win the Third Annual World G**gb**g Championship held in Warsaw, Poland, even though it would mean having sex with hundreds of eager men, many of whom were likely not attractive in the least. Still though, she did it, and now has a place in history. And in case you were wondering, up until earlier this year, she had a very loving (and VERY understanding) husband who was very supportive of her chosen career. Maybe she pledged to reach 920 this year and that was the final straw.

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