If you love drinking, but are tired of alcoholic beverages that taste good and don’t make you sick for days, then this is the list for you. Most drinks are intended to be enjoyable, but some are prepared with one goal in mind: to make whoever has it suffer. Experiencing just one of these 10 shots will ensure that you’ll never want to drink again:
10. Prairie Fire
Instructions: Mix one part tequila or whisky with one part Tabasco hot sauce, then add a sprinkle of pepper to taste.
Tabasco sauce is a staple of disgusting drinks, because it’s easily accessible and guaranteed to set your mouth on fire. You’ll be guzzling glasses of water immediately after shooting this, and it will do you absolutely no good.
9. Liquid Steak
Instructions: Mix one part rum with one part Worcestershire sauce.
Well, we can’t deny that it’s a liquid, but we’re positive it’s not going to taste like a steak. If meat actually resembled this unholy combination then the number of vegetarians out there would be much, much larger.
8. Alligator Sperm
Instructions: Equal parts melon liqueur and pineapple juice poured into a shot glass, with a teaspoon of cream on top.
Can a vegetarian drink alligator sperm? Not sure, but I’d be coming up with any excuse I could think of not to drink this green, curdled concoction.
7. Bloody Tampon
Instructions: Mix two parts vodka with one part tomato juice. Suck on a paper napkin for 10 seconds before consuming.
The combination of vodka and tomato juice is bad enough, and drying your mouth out with the napkin isn’t going to help matters. Worst of all, the napkin only serves to drive home the vile mental image provided by the shot’s name and appearance.
6. Cement Mixer
Instructions: Add one part lime juice to one part Bailey’s Irish Cream. Swish it around your mouth before swallowing.
This shot doubles as a chemistry lesson. It doesn’t sound bad at first; Bailey’s is good, and lime juice can’t have that much of an effect on the taste, right? Well, the taste is tolerable, but the juice curdles the Bailey’s, giving it the consistency of, well, cement. Cement that you have to mix around your mouth before forcing down your throat.
5. Prairie Oyster
Instructions: Pour one part bourbon, then crack a raw egg into the glass. Add a dash of Tabasco sauce to taste.
The shots we’ve looked at so far have been disgusting but still drinkable; they’re good to buy at a friend’s birthday for a laugh, assuming you secretly hate your friends. But now we’re looking at drinks that are designed solely to make you ill, shots you’d buy for your worst enemy.
At best, a Prairie Oyster will make you vomit, because there’s no way you’re holding down that unholy combination. At worst, your hangover is going to be accompanied by a case of salmonella, and it will take more than a couple of aspirin to get rid of that.
4. The Eggermeister
Instructions: Pour one part Jägermeister into a tall glass, then add a pickled egg. Drink, but chew the egg before swallowing.
Pickled eggs are gross at the best of times, and being forced to hold a shot of Jägermeister in your mouth while you eat the egg isn’t going to enhance its taste. Plus, this shot sounds like a serious choking hazard, assuming you don’t immediately gag and cough out the nasty combo.
3. Infected Whitehead
Instructions: Mix one part vodka with Bloody Mary mix, then add a spoonful of cottage cheese.
Do we even have to tell you what’s wrong with these shots at this point? Just looking at it is nauseating enough, and even if the idea of drinking cottage cheese somehow doesn’t turn you off the actual act certainly will. Here’s a general life tip: don’t drink anything that’s full of chunks.
Instructions: Mix one part vodka with one part Tabasco sauce. Sprinkle with pepper, then top with a dollop of warm mayonnaise.
It’s rarely a good idea to consume something named after an intestinal parasite, and this shot is no exception. We honestly think that having an actual tapeworm would be a more pleasant experience than trying and inevitably failing to keep this abomination down, because it’s clearly designed to make people throw up.
1. New Jersey Turnpike
Instructions: Take your local bar’s bar mat and bar rag, and squeeze their contents into a shot glass.
This shot goes by many names, but considering how unsanitary it is the reference to New Jersey seems most appropriate. Ideally, you’d order this at last call at the filthiest bar you can find, because if you’re going to get dysentery you might as well go all out. Each shot is unique, although you’re guaranteed a mix of many different kinds of alcohol, filth and germs. But the specifics of what you’ll get is a mystery; it’s like opening a Christmas present, except with a lot more vomiting and stomach pumps.