Top Ten Action Figures that are So Bad, They’re Good

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When you think of dolls and action figures, characters such as Superman, Spider-man, Flash, and Batman probably come to mind. You may also think of the, oh so infamous Barbie and Ken. In most cases, the action figures or dolls you think of are generally centered on characters or people that are good role models, or characters that we see as being heroes. No matter what character comes to mind, it’s doubtful that you think of something obscure.

However, with the popularity of dolls spreading, more and more people have created some of the most obscure and outright weird toys. Here are the top ten dolls that I think really boggle the mind. Hey, if you’re looking for a gag gift, keep these in mind.

10. Marie Antoinette Action Figure

marie-antoinette-action-figure

That’s right; you can own a Queen of France and Navarre action figure. Not only does this action figure completely embody Marie Antoinette and how women lived during her time, it even reenacts her own death. At your own leisure, you can play executioner and watch poor Marie’s head pop right off. I’m not sure heads “pop off” when cut off by a sharp blade, but who knows. While playing executioner, bring along a female friend who can quote “Pardon me Sir, I meant not to do it.” All the more fun.

9. Sigmund Freud Action Figure

sigmund-freud-doll

As yes, the great man of psychoanalysis. There’s nothing more enjoyable then the Oedipus complex, the triad psyche, dream analysis, and of course the good old phallic symbols. Who wouldn’t want to be able to play with a coke fiend who seemed somewhat obsessed with sexuality but would never undergo his own treatments? I know I couldn’t pass that up. The best part of this action figure: the cigar. Completely fits all Freud stood for.

8. Sarah Palin Action Figure

sarah-palin-schoolgirl-superhero-action-figure

In case you want to add to your Sarah Palin shrine, this is perfect. At least it enhances Palin’s world-renounced hair bun…thing. The grimace on her face is just creepy, for lack of a better word. It just screams, “You betcha!” There’s no way I’d put this thing in my house. For all those men who find Sarah to be sexy, well…this action figure does her no justice. I guess the short skirts, low-cut shirts, and bare mid-drifts do something, but man, that face, that face.

7. Mr. T Doll

mr-t-doll

Not only is he a superstar of the A-Team, he’s a real superhero, FOOL! Batman and Superman have nothing on Mr. T. Decked out with blue feather earrings and a blue box, this doll is perfect for all those A-Team fans, if there are (m)any. Mr. T. is fully jointed. You know what that means…you can totally act out some A-Team fight scenes. The clothes come off too, for those who have dreamed of a naked Mr. T. in their room.

6. Obsessive Compulsive Action Figure

obsessive-compulsive-action-figure

What exactly do you do with an OCD action figure? Maybe it does all of the worrying for you. I guess if you wash your hands more than 10 times a day, feel the need to take a shower if you hear someone sneezing, pick all of the balls of lent of your own clothes as well as your friends’ and you press the alarm button on your car about 5 times, this guy could just become your best friend. He’ll probably be the cleanest toy you’ll ever own, sporting a sanitary towel you can use to clean him with once your dirty nasty hands have touched him.

5. Padme Skywalker, Preggo Version Action Figure

pregnant-padme-skywalker-action-figure

I know not a thing about Star Wars, and frankly, I find most Star Wars action figures to be pretty acceptable. But this one stands out because well…she’s pregnant! Not only is she pregnant, the picture on the box obviously shows a distraught Padme. What’s that say about pregnancy? The best part is the fact that the toy is for “ages 4 and up.” Try explaining the belly bump to a 4 year old. That could be problematic.

4. Vanilla Ice Doll

vanilla-ice-dollIce Doll

Not only do you get a doll, but a postcard, as well as Vanilla Ice club information. Ohhh yeah. I wonder if this club is still up and running. Anyone wanna join with me? Question is who really wants a Vanilla Ice postcard, or a doll for that fact? You also get to pick between two super flashy outfits. Definitely a great doll to play dress up with. I’d use him as a microphone around the house as I sang Ice ice baby.

3. MC Hammer Doll

mc-hammer-doll

Dun na na na, can’t touch this. Seriously? One of the best dolls, ever. The bright, sparkly, purple jacket, black sequin undershirt, and…the shades. Perfect! I’d say this was the first ever Ken doll. You could even buy different outfits to put on him. (Yes, the company did make separate outfits.) It even comes with a cassette. You can jam along while playing. Thank you, Mattel.

2. Adolf Hitler Doll

hitler-action-figure

Adolf would have just adored Barbie, you know, with those blue eyes, white skin, and the blonde hair. I’m not exactly who would buy this doll. I’m sure it’s popular in some countries, but really? At least it comes in a nifty box with Hitler’s full life story. As if no one has heard it before. In any case, I’ll reward it for its ability to express Hitler’s usual smug, mean, angry, serious, stern looking face.

1. Gay Bob Doll

gay-bob-doll

The Gay Bob doll definitely deserves the #1 spot on the list. From his platinum blond hair, tight jeans, plaid shirt, and the whole closet theme, who wouldn’t want this doll? I just love the plethora of stereotypes. Even the way he is positioned is just, perfect. Oh and the best part, it’s made for everyone. Imagine getting this as a present. Boy, the conversations that would go down then.

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Honorable Mentions:

  • Rosie O’Donnell doll
  • George Bush doll
  • Pope Innocent III action figure

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29 Comments

  1. They are all real dolls/action figures that you can buy. Some of the older ones aren't available in stores I'd imagine (Vanilla Ice/Mr. T) but eBay does wonders.

    There's plenty of online stores that sell these.

    Thanks for reading!

  2. well, I know the Freud doll is real because one of my psych professors in college had one on display in his office.

  3. I bought a Jesus Action Figurine as a joke-gift for a friend from a local store – it was created by the same company that did the Freud & Marie Antoinette dolls so they also had those in the store as well.

    Loved the COME OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH GAY BOB doll the most, though. haha

  4. Anyone notice Vanilla Ice is giving the "shocker" hand signal on the box? If you dont know what it is, its a sexual reference. I wonder if he even knows what it means. Wonder how that went down at the time.

  5. Though some seem to think he is actually a superhero, I was amazed that the Seth Godin action figure was not on this list: http://j.mp/arpGQ3

    With built-in Brand-O-Matic® and Purple Power®! At least all the proceeds go to charity.

  6. I should really mention 'Stinkor' the He-Man figure that acvtually stank! Beats a kung-fu grip hands down I say!

  7. Actually, the pregnant padme figure is a bad custom job made by some random fan. It is not a mass produced piece or official product or anything of the sort.

  8. There was an ad telling me to “pursue my passion” right between the header and photograph of the Gay Bob entry. WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING EBAY???

  9. Louis Alexandre Simard on

    I clicked on the link OCD action in the OCD action figurine post which brought me to a website called OCD action but it was too disorganised. I should probabably call OCD action to tell them. Do you think I should call OCD action to tell them? Yes! I think I should call OCD action to tell them to straighten up their OCD action website. Or else I might get in an accident today.

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