Top 10 Poker Personalities


There are 10 poker personality types that seem to make up almost any poker table you will ever encounter. Which personality you happen to be, as well as who it is you are competing against, can become one of the most important factors to winning or losing. Having the ability to “size up” a table quickly can give you an edge over some players, while also serving as an indicator of when it’s time to hold’em, fold’em, or get the heck out of there before you not only lose your shirt, but your pants and socks too!

10. Not Playing With A Full Deck

This is the easiest poker player to deal with because they know absolutely nothing about the game of poker except that it involves cards and money. The most damage these players can ever hope to accomplish is if a little luck happens to come their way, which does happen from time to time. This player folds when they have a weak hand and calls when they have a strong hand; what more could a poker player ask of such an unworthy opponent? Photo:

9. The Loot Overloaded Loose Cannon

This is the next easiest poker player to defeat. They always have plenty of money to burn, and their adult ADD ensures that give it up just as quickly as humanly possible. This player would actually appear to play without strategy on purpose, almost as if they are begging you to take their chips so they won’t have to cash them in at the end of the night. These are the same folks who stack crisp clean dollar bills in their latrine instead of toilet paper rolls just to gain the reputation of being a high roller.

8. Tight Fisted and Predictable

Here is a poker player that is always a treat to have at the table because they are as predictable as throwing a hairdryer into a full bathtub. These poker players are never reckless, preferring to play it safe rather than risk the chance of parting with their hard-earned dollars (which they cradle in their wallet as if children). Rarely will they take the initiative to raise the stakes at the table, and not only are they easily bluffed, their actions are so predictable you could almost play each hand for them.

7. The Aggressive Red-Faced Huffer Puffer

This poker player can be a challenge due to the fact that it’s hard to tell if they have a strong hand or if they are just bluffing their way to the pot. While a bit of skill may be on their side, they are not particularly strategic poker players because they allow their emotions to get the best of them. They often hide behind a false confidence, which should be sized up immediately, once you realize that they have the same wild card attitude with almost every hand. You can usually brush these bullies off as more bluff than bite! Artist: C.M. Coolidge.

6. The Lucky Lou or Louise

Every now and then a player comes along that just seems to have been blessed with luck. No matter how hard you try to strategize against the Lucky Lou or Lucky Louise, the more they seem to come out on top. Some folks believe in the theory of luck, while others claim there is no such thing. No matter which school of thought you happen to come from, if you ever run into one of these folks at a table it is often best to accept your losses and get up and go while the gettin’ is still good!

5. The Aggressive Loan Shark with an Overbite

This is a relatively good poker player, who is not yet an expert at reading their opponents. They spend the majority of their time trying to build the perfect hand, focusing the majority of their play on poker technique and etiquette. While they are often more strategic than the Red-Faced Huffer Puffer, they do however have a very similar style of aggressive play. They are fun players to have at your table because you can always count on them to keep the action rolling, but they are no match for the Natural Poker Clairvoyant. Artist: C.M. Coolidge.

4. The Natural Poker Clairvoyant

Here is a player that can come from little experience, but can cause a lot of trouble at an amateur table. Some people are just naturally gifted at reading other people, and the Natural Poker Clairvoyant can read most players with the greatest of ease. They pay attention to the little signals that players unknowingly provide, such as pinching their left ear before a bluff, or sniffing their nose when they receive a favorable card. Knowing who these players are should give you ample warning to be on your best behavior.

3. The Cool Hand Luke

Nothing seems to phase the Cool Hand Luke, and they are very skilled at hiding their poker personality. These players are dangerous because they are difficult to place in a category, so you never really know what you are going to get. They could be a Testosterone Injected Tree Sloth; but then again, they could also be just a Loot Overloaded Loose Canon. The old saying goes, sometimes it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for, and many experienced poker players have found this out the hard way.

2. The Ringer

This player is the purposeful version of #10 on this list, “Not Playing With a Full Deck”. The Ringer is a clever player that relies on the fact of being perceived as a bad player so they can be taken off the radar of other players. Once off the radar these players busy themselves, learning everyone’s signals. Then, when the time is right they suddenly turn into Playing With a Full Deck and they commence to clean out everyone, claiming their good fortune as nothing more than passing luck. These folks are the reason you should never overlook any player at a table, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.

1. The Testosterone Injected Tree Sloth

This poker player is the most experienced and hardest to beat. They are usually able to get a good read on those at the table, while being rather difficult to read themselves. They size up the amateur players almost immediately, putting the brunt of their attention on the more difficult personalities. They will never hesitate to go after the aggressive players at the table, but they also know when it’s time to back down and minimize their losses. This is one case in the game of poker where brain actually meets brawn.

By Eric J. Leech, who asks you to visit for celebrity “stuff”.

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  1. In the “Cool Hand Loke” segment, you’ve mixed up “phase” and “faze”. The meanings are quite distinct.