The creationism vs. evolution battle still rages in many schools worldwide. However, the problem with teaching creationism is that, well, there are a LOT of creationist ideas out there. You can’t just teach the Christian version; you need to introduce kids to ALL the tales. That’s the only way they can ever hope to make a balanced, educated decision regarding what they believe in.
The Aztecs, Egyptians, and various other ancient civilizations had their own stories of how the world and humanity came into existence and nobody has ever proven them wrong. Let’s check them out.
10. The Chinese Egg Of Life
It has been traditionally shown that the Chinese, like like others, have multiple myths about creation. However, the most popular story involves a black egg and a man with a broad-ax collaborating to create our world. According to this myth, in the beginning Heaven and Earth were closer than a pedophile and a playground, so close they fused together to form one gloomy mass of blackness. In this gloomy mass of blackness, which was described as a black egg, a man named P’anku/Pangu resided for millennia upon millennia. One day, Pangu presumably got bored of life and smashed out of the egg with a broadax. While we’d like to assume he decided to have it scrambled, Pangu had greater plans than that. Existing in between the two halves of the egg, he grew into an enormous size of nine million l (thirty thousand miles,) or approximately the distance between Heaven and Earth. Eventually he died and decayed, but did so in a more badass way than any of us ever will. His voice transformed into thunder, his skin and bones made up the Earth and its various minerals, and his head transformed into outer space.
9. The Slavic Spies
The Slavs, like many other cultures, have several similar stories about how the world was created. However, they all have the same base. The myths revolve around a theme of God vs. the Devil. One of the most prominent ones involves a god called Bielobog, who got bored of eternal nothingness. Deciding to amuse himself with the antics of Justin Bieber and Kristen Stewart, he created Earth by sending his shadow Chernobog to get dirt. Chernobog was proud and selfish, and attempted to kill Bielobog by drowning him. Being a God and all, Bielobog was not fazed, and blessed the land happily. He was unable to stop the land from growing though, so he dispatched an expedition to spy on Chernobog, who summoned a goat and rode it, intending to have a serious discussion. However, this had the effect of inadvertently causing the team to burst into laughter. Chernobog got pissed off and refused to speak with them.
Meanwhile, Bielobog sent a bee to spy on Chernobog, who revealed that the only way to stop the Earth was to make a cross pointing to all corners of the Earth and say enough. The bee overheard, but Chernobog was not pleased. He cursed whoever sent the bee to eat the bee’s s***. Bielobog, pleased with information he had received, caused the bee to have the sweetest s*** ever, i.e. honey. While this story doesn’t address humans directly, it provides a fun way to visualize the birth of the universe, not to mention a neat explanation for why honey is so delicious.
8. Armenian Duality
Similar to Slavic myths, Armenian mythology also revolves around a duality. In this case, the two most popular versions of the myth juxtapose masculinity and femininity. The myths don’t explain how the world is created per se, but they do tell us how the world runs and expose the men behind the curtain. Heaven and Earth were, for starters, said to be husband and wife separated by a sea. Heaven was said to be a city. Earth was said to rest on the horns of a bull, whose head shaking would cause earthquakes.
An alternative myth suggested that the Earth rested in water circled by a Leviathan who tried to catch its own tail (picture a Greek ouroborus here). The Leviathan’s violent movement are said to cause earthquakes, and the world would end if the Leviathan ever caught its own tail.
7. The Giant Nordic Ice Giant
The Norse Myths quite predictably reflect their culture. The world in this case was created from the corpse of a giant snow man (frost giant) called Ymir. Previously, in the ancient times when the world was young, there were two worlds: Muspell and Niflheim, which were respectively the realms of Fire/Heat and Ice/Cold. Where the heat met the cold there was a chasm called Ginnungagap; there, they created Ymir, the first Frost Giant.
Ymir then sweated out a man and a woman from his left arm; we imagine that must have been quite awkward for him. The man was called Buri, who had a son and sired Odin, Vile and Ve who, as a triad, ruled the Heavens. Odin and his brothers slew Ymir took his body to the Ginnungagap and used it to build our world. His blood was used for the oceans and seas; his skull was used to create the sky. His bones were crushed and used as rocks and pebbles. His brains formed the clouds. Later, Odin and his brothers found two trees which they used to create both man and woman. The man was named Ash and the woman Elm, and together they raised Pokémon and lived happily ever—oops wrong Ash.
6. Greco-Roman Ball-Rolling
Greek mythology portrayed the world at the beginning as shapeless and formless. There was Chaos everywhere, and neither the sun nor the moon existed. Then a god reached down and resolved this conflict by organizing all things. He separated heat from cold, and mist from clear air. He then shaped Earth by rolling it into a ball, and separating it into five zones. The middle zone was too hot and the two outer zones too cold, so he made two regions that were, just like Goldilocks’ porridge, just right. Man was created from divine seed of the unnamed god, possibly Zeus/Jupiter, as two-faced round-bodied creatures which would eventually be split into two.
5. The Shadowsexual Egyptian God
In the beginning there was Nu, an ocean which can be said to symbolize chaos and disorder. This was all that existed till Atum came out of the watery mass. Atum, being the badass God that he is, had created himself using his will and thoughts alone. He then created a hill to stand on, as there was no place to stand in the watery chaos. Atum created more Gods (since he was alone) by having sex with his shadow, who we’re guessing always wanted to keep the lights on during sex.
He gave birth to Shu and Tefnut by spitting and vomiting them out. Shu represents air and life, while Tefnut represents moisture and order. At some point, Shu and Tefnut become lost in Nu, and upon Atum’s reunion with them he wept manly tears. These tears were so manly, they hit the ground, inseminated it, and produced people. Shu and Tefnut then gave birth to Geb and Nut, the Earth and sky.
In some versions, Atum is replaced by Ra who takes the form of the Scarab God. The base story, however, still remains the same.
4. Yoruban Chickens and the Sand Of Life
The Yoruba of West Africa have their own creation myth as well. There exists a high God (Olorun) who decided one day to organize the Earth, which is a vast wasteland. He sends his son Obatala. In some versions, Oduduwa is the one he actually sends, while in others he merely tags along for the ride. However, Obatala gets dragged into a party and Oduduwa continues the mission, armed with a chicken and a calabash of sand. Oduduwa drops the sand and lets the chicken spread it around; this part of the world is then named Ife/Ile-Ife. Obatala came down later and created people, however as he was drunk, so he created some people with deformities. This explains why some people are born deformed. When he came out of his haze, he later set about his task properly and finished everything.
Some variants have Oduduwa merely bringing the Yoruba people down from Heaven, and ruling over them as their king.
3. Aztec War Among Gods
Aztecs believed that, at the beginning of the world, there existed a great dark void with a Great God Ometecuhtli/Omecihuatl who watched over everything. This God was a living contradiction, as he was both male and female, good and evil, hot and cold, yes and no, in and out, up and down, black and white, wrong and right. He gave birth to four smaller Gods — Huitzilopochtli, Quetzalcoatl, Tezcatlipoca, and Xipe Totec — who created giants, water, fish and other gods.
To create the Sun, Tezcatlipoca sacrificed himself, however he got into a battle with Quetzalcoatl, who knocked him from the sky. Quetzacoatl later became the Sun and created humanity, who survived at that time by feeding on nuts. Tezcatlipoca however corrupted the humans and turned them into monkeys, upon which Quetzacoatl summoned a hurricane and blew them away. Tlaloc and Chalchiuhtlicue became the next Suns, though the pissing contest between Quetzacoatl and Tezcatpoli ensured their eras went down in flames. Finally, Quetzacoatl and Tezcatpoli stopped their battles, and created fresh brand of humans called the Aztecs, with Quetzacoatl having to rescue bones from the afterlife and dip them in his blood.
2. Japanese Earth Cauldron
In Japanese myths, the world began as a – you guessed it – muddy chaotic ocean. However, from the ocean out came a reed, which gave rise to many Gods. These Gods were known as the Kotoamatsukami, who are never mentioned again as they promptly go into hiding.
Many other Gods arose, including Izanami and Izanagi, who eventually went on to stir the Earth until a curdled landmass formed, which they called Japan. Their first son, Ebisu, became god of fishermen; their daughter, Amaterasu, became the Sun; and their second daughter, Tsukiyomi, became the moon. Their last son, Susanoo, became the god of storms due to his unruly behavior.
1. The Hindu Ohm
The Hindu also begin their stories with a featureless void, though in the waters of the void, a giant cobra floated around, with Lord Vishnu hidden in the coils of its tails. One day, a sound came and filled the void with energy. That sound was “Ohm,” now used as the Buddhist chant. Vishnu then awoke, and set about to doing his godly things. He first summoned his servant Brahma from the Lotus flower on his belly button (better than a piercing.) Vishnu then told Brahma to create the world and vanished, along with his serpent. Brahma spilt the lotus flower into three bits; one part became the heavens, another the Earth, and the third and final bit became the skies. Brahma then created birds, people, flowers and every other living thing.