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  • 5minutes

    I say use them all at once on hippies.

    • redstick

      “hippies”?! Yowza, cat! That be real KOOL, daddy-o!. Broom along, Jasper, ain’t no four sides on you!

  • Strangerhascandy

    Awesome descriptions of theses weapons! Very reminiscent of Penn Jilette. I swear I could actually HEAR Penn describing most of the weapons, The Gay Bomb, in particular.

    Excellently written. Very entertaining list.

    • mhm

      i agree, the writing on these lists are always humorous and well writin. I definetly come to this site more then i should.. haha

  • Jonathan Reiter

    This was an entertaining list. Thanks!

  • David

    and thats how you do a Christmas list!

  • Dan

    Great list, although I believe they call them “Less Lethal” now, instead of “non-lethal”, due to stungun related deaths

    • Jonathan Reiter

      Tasers are as lethal as they get. Deaths are getting to be more likely because of the dolt(Cop) using it is rarely trained in its use in the field…

  • ParusMajor

    This was an interesting list, but “non-lethal”? You can kill someone with a pencil if you stick it into his nostril far enough to go to his brain. Ordinary hammer? Lethal weapon. Kitchen knife? Ditto. Bare hands? Also lethal weapons if you e.g. strangle someone or beat them to a pulp with your fists.

    #5 was funny, though. 😀

  • Ali

    I would love to use the SpeechJammer against my younger sister because I’m sick of her nagging and singing. Thanks for mentioning it, I appreciate it.

  • FMH

    Does the US military not consider that chemical warfare agents are internationally banned for use in military forces? Lethal or not doesn’t matter since the lethality is always only a matter of concentration. Personally, I think the term “non-lethal” is overused and in some cases (as with tasers for example) dangerous. “Less lethal” would be much more accurate.

  • Siska

    I loved your List! I love your sense of humour, very well written! What other lists have you written?

  • redstick

    I had an audiologist friend who used the ‘speech jammer’ principle in a clinical setting. It’s called a ‘delayed side tone’ and is used to detect fakers who pretend to be deaf. For some reason, that slight delay makes speech impossible. A truly deaf person would not hear the disruption, and speak normally. A hearing guy would simply stammer to a stop.

    • ParusMajor

      That’s interesting, but why would anyone pretend to be deaf?

      • Jonathan Reiter

        Medical Aid Fraud…

      • redstick

        Exactly. And, in my day, to avoid the draft. Faking deafness beat actually puncturing your eardrums [brrrrrr].

  • Tom

    Great list!

  • this guy

    that taser shotgun would hurt SOOOOOOO bad!!! AND IT SPINS!?!

  • Todd

    The PHASR is too big to personal use. A small BeamQ laser dazzler will work for the same purpose