The world is a big ol’ place, populated by billions of people and thousands of cultures. It’s not anyone’s place to judge them, no matter how strange or disgusting some of them might seem to you. Yes, some Asian cultures eat dogs and cats. Get over it. Yes, in certain parts of Africa people regularly eat snake meat. Stop judging them!
That being said…I’m almost certain that if I go to Hell (and I probably will), what will await me there are these 10 torture-dishes from around the world (along with, you know, actual torture):
10. Satan’s Ashes Curry
Let me be very clear that I absolutely love spicy food, but I also have this unwritten rule (carved into a huge boulder behind my house) that I will never try anything that can only be described as tasting “like pain.”
Speaking of which – Satan’s Ashes Curry. Lauded as the world’s most spicy curry mixing the infamous Dorset Naga, Naga Morich and Bhut Jolokia) peppers (the latter clocking in at over 1,000,000 Scoville units of hotness), the dish might very well be renamed The Reverse Volcano Curry, if you catch my drift. According to a man who actually managed to eat a plate of Satan’s Ashes Curry, the dish burns with the power and hatred of 1000 suns—with whose wives you have slept—from the very first bite with no intention of ever stopping.
It’s little surprise that the same man later confessed to almost passing out from the pain while on the toilet.
9. St. Elmo Steak House’s Shrimp Cocktail
We aren’t done with colon-annihilating dishes yet, but who would have thought that the next contender for the title of hottest food ever would come from INDIANA of all places? Well, it has. The St. Elmo Steak House’s shrimp cocktail has been called the spiciest dish in the world, a feat all the more impressive considering that it doesn’t use a single pepper.
Its cause is helped by being made more from horseradish than actual shrimps. Twenty pounds of fresh grated horseradish to be exact, enough to propel a typical human being to Mach 30 by causing fire to shoot out of every orifice in your body. I’m hearing that the Pentagon is looking into the possibility of weaponizing the dish, but is meeting opposition from people quoting the Geneva Convention.
Source
8. Monkey Brain
To this day there is no conclusive evidence if monkey brain was ever a real food anywhere in the world but…well, yeah, of course it was. How hard it would be to kill a monkey and eat its brain? I can say with 100% certainty that somewhere, at some point in history, someone took a monkey and ate its brain. Whether that person had black, dead eyes and could only speak in “screams of cursed toddlers
I should probably just put it out there that, if you are ever offered monkey brain, it would probably be wise to refuse it. Not because it’s gross and wrong, even though it is, but because it might unfortunately lead to Mad Monkey Disease, which to my total surprise is apparently a real thing.
7. Ikizukuri
Ikizukuri comes from Japan. That’s really all the explanation you need for the horrors that follow:
At its core, Ikizukuri is simply raw fish. Even the name literally means “prepared alive.” But unlike sashimi, Ikizukuri requires the chef to cut up the fish and serve you its soft, butchered body parts while the fish is still alive. On your plate! No, seriously, the dish is actually an alive, slowly dying fish (with its eyes moving and its gills grasping for air), surrounded by its sliced flesh. On your plate. I feel like I can’t emphasize that point enough.
One Japanese restaurant even offers to cut up the fish and serve you its meat in such a way that will leave the fish alive for hours. And to prove it, they will put it in the tank and let it swim with ONE SIDE OF ITS SKELETON COMPLETELY EXPOSED.
You can watch it in the video in the source but…don’t say I didn’t warn you.
6. Heart Attack Grill’s Quadruple Bypass Burger
The Heart Attack Grill restaurant is the only reason aliens will ever need to wipe us off the face of the planet. A restaurant openly promoting how unhealthy its menu is (and it is, considering that some of their food is fried in pure lard) would be like Toyota rolling out a car named “The Head-on Collision.”
Among HAG’s menu items which give me small chest pains just by looking at them, a single monstrosity stands out: the Quadruple Bypass Burger. Four thick 0.5 pound patties, bacon and cheese, so tall that even a python would break its jaw on it. And, in what I assume was a risky but bold promotional stunt, one of the restaurant’s customers decided to prove that the burger’s name isn’t just for show by actually getting a heart attack while eating the damned thing.
Oh sorry, that’s wrong. The customer who got the heart attack was only eating a TRIPLE Bypass Burger. Whew, good to know that the Quadruple one is still safe.
5. Casu Marzu
Cheese is a wonderful invention when you think about it. Basically, it’s milk fermented to a degree that causes it to become delicious (more so when sliced and placed on a hamburger), but not enough to make it unfit for human consumption. The Casu Marzu cheese, on the other hand, laughs at such limitations even though it really, really shouldn’t.
Casu Marzu is a soft, putrid, totally-decomposed-from-where-I-am-standing cheese that is the final product of cheese fly larvae activity. Yes, the cheese is made by letting a bunch of flies have sex and birth their disgusting babies inside it. And then people want to eat it.
Unsurprisingly, the cheese is banned almost everywhere in the world, but you have to wonder. What place on Earth values their and other people’s lives so little to produce a thing like Casu Marzu? What nation would be this hardcore? Is it some small village in Siberia populated only be ex-Spetsnaz soldiers, or maybe an entirely new breed of humans which emerged from the volcanic bellows of Hawaii?
What? It’s from Sardinia? No, that can’t be right. Huh…mental note: never, EVER piss off a Sardinian.
4. Century Egg
Since we are already on the topic of cheese, it’s good to mention that many other foods acquire a richer taste as they age. Wine would be a good example. But very rarely on a list of such foods would you ever find eggs…unless you’re in China.
Say hello to the Chinese century egg, made by preserving it in a husk of clay, ash or lime for several weeks or even months. This process breaks down some of the compounds of the egg and pickles it from the inside out in a very unique way, also turning it greenish-black. The process is actually quite sophisticated, as it ferments the eggs but does not spoil it, which is of course akin to praising someone for skillfully learning to drive a car using only their chest hair.
According to some account, the century egg is so pungent that the smell alone could knock out an 18th century dung farmer.
3. Balut
If you want to see pictures of this abomination (which are sad beyond belief), you’ll have to click the source below. For the sake of this article’s sanity, however, we’ll stick with fluffy bunny rabbits.
Now then. We’re still in the domain of weird eggs, this one coming from the Philippines.
The recipe for Balut is as simple as it is cruel and insane. First, you take a standard fertilized duck egg, then you let the little baby duck inside grow safely in the shell, all tra-la-la-dee without a care in the world. Then, when the fetus is sorta formed but not completely, you boil the “egg” alive and eat it because to Hell with ducks, that’s why! What’s this feeling when you want to both cry and throw up in your mouth at the same time? Someone should really invent a name for it, like “cromit” (cry + vomit) or weerl (weep + hurl).
2. Raw Blood Soup
Did I say that the recipe for Balut was simple? Well it has nothing on the traditional Vietnamese dish of Tiet Canh. Check it out: take duck blood, add duck meat plus spices, then eat. Alright, alright, the actual process is sometimes more complicated than that but, once your main ingredient is raw blood, all the other stuff about the dish kinda stops being important. On the other hand, forcing your significant other to sit down to a plateful of Tiet Canh might finally get them a) off that whole Twilight craze, and b) to give you that divorce you wanted.
1. Bats
As with Balut, TopTenz wishes to save you thousands of dollars on therapy bills by not showing any actual pictures. Instead, you get Batman.
So, apparently some people in Asia, especially in one village in Thailand, like to eat bats. Guys, really; if you want to commit suicide this much, there are easier ways than trying to make Ol’ Bats up here break his no-killing cardinal rule for you.
The Thai Bat is prepared thusly: first you kill the bats by plunging them into boiling water while alive. Then the bats are skinned, grilled and chopped up into a fine paste with herbs, though they can very well be eaten whole. For a more visual and way more traumatizing look at eating bats, check out the video in the source. Then go find a fun new hobby to fill those late-night hours which you used to pass with wonderful, blissful sleep.
34 Comments
Okay, don’t get freaked out, but my family is vietnamese ate Balut before. They asked me if I wanted to try it and held it up to my face. I just looked at it, and I threw up on it. Those were one of horrid days of my life. Me and my mom went to vietnamese markets before, and I saw pig heads pakaged, and tanks of alive fish, ready to get chopped. I got used to seeing that. ._.;
I think people who keep insisting “it’s culture” should:
a) consider that culture is not an excuse- my culture burned hundreds of women, animals etc as witches and familiars. That ok? No. And it’s all the same mediaeval beliefs.
b) DO YOUR RESEARCH:
Dog Meat is No Traditional Food
By Sue Cho
As a Korean, I find it very insulting that some people talk about dog meat as if it was a real Korean traditional cuisine. Dog meat eaters often claim that dog meat is good for their health. There is no sicentific or medical truth to back up this claim. According to the research by Koreans and Westerners, it was found that there is no better or special nutrition with dog meat compared to other livestock. It has higher fat content than other livestock. There is more risk to develop Palsy. From a public health point of view, it is unfortunate that these lies are widespread among dog-eaters as there are far more Koreans these days who suffer from heart attack, high blood pressure and Palsy than before due to over consumption of high calorie food.
Dog meat, although some Koreans accept it, there are also other Koreans who do not as it results from disheartening cruelties, misconception and greed. Some Koreans have been eating dogs in some part of our country and in some times in our history but it never has been eaten by the majority of Koreans as Korea was for a long time a Buddhist country and still many people believe in Buddhism.
A few traces in our history and continuing practice by selfish and heartless people do not make dog consumption as our culture. Truth known, dog eaters in Korea are mostly middle and upper class, middle aged men with power and position. They barricade themselves from the majority Koreans-non dog eaters and tries their best to indoctrinate others to believe it is our culture and protect their myth that says dog meat will boost their sexual energy.
Korean traditional food is simple and honest. There is no disguise with colour or fake smell and, most of all, there is no deliberate cruelties on animals with Korean traditional food. If we look at the names of Korean traditional food, most Korean food names are followed with its main ingredients. Dog meat is called “Four season stew, Nutrition stew, Body healing stew” which doesn’t sound like Korean traditional food but very much sound like business invention.
Also the cruelty involved in producing dog meat makes it a very unlikely candidate for traditional food. The dog meat traders beat dogs to death so that all the blood vessel would burst and the meat become red.
Another point is Koreans tend not to disguise the smell of its natural source. If Tofu or cabbages are preserved, although they smell very strong, our ancestors still didn’t put any herbs or alcohols to make the original smell fake aromatic. However, with dog meat, they are using different kinds of herbs to erase the smell of dog, which is again very unlike Korean traditional food.
Even though people know that dogs and cats are much more involved in human society, some, especially dog meat eaters, would insist that cow, pig, poultry, fish, dogs, cats and etc are the same. This totally ignores the fact that one of the reasons we value human life more is because of our relationship to each other and our emotional, social capacity. But let us consider some would want to insist on the equality so that no animal will be killed for food. That will be surely better for animals and us?
Unfortunately this equality theory has been abused to justify eating dogs, cats and other kind of animals with uncommon intelligence anywhere in the world and to increase the number of animal species available for human consumption. This type of use would not make our life any better but lead us to destroy the uncommon gift and blessings we have, the trust and bond we form with our companion animals. It is far more positive to encourage each other to cut down the species of animals available for human consumption. That way, we will be closer to make our life more peaceful and respectable.
Respecting another country’s culture shows open mindedness but it needs to be done with thoughtful care and not in irresponsible manner for the very sake of the country you want to understand and show respect. In Korea, there is a word, “Me-Pung-Yang-Sok” which means “Beautiful custom and good morals” and refers when one culture deserves respect. I have never heard any Koreans call Dog meat as “Me-Pung-Yang-Sok”. Dog meat consumption is NOT a real Korean traditional food but the base of animal cruelty in Korea.”
Just a note on the intro, its not only African cultures that eat snake meat but also here in the U.S. I lived in central Wyoming for 8 years where quite a few people enjoy rattlesnake meat lol. It definitely has a unique flavor
I have had century eggs several times. Absolutely nothing wrong with it, neither in the preparation, nor in the taste. Surprised to see it in this list.
Lol! Balut is so delicious.. 🙂
balut is tasty!
One of the ingredients you missed in the quadruple-bypass burger:
There is one fried egg for each beef patty.
I’ve had the shrimp cocktail at St. Elmo’s… I’m a Hoosier! And it will definitely clear your sinuses. Worth it, though! If you ever get to Indianapolis, visit St. Elmo’s and give it a try!
The live fish dish (Ikizukuri) is totally sad to read about. I cannot believe people would consume that…(just saying)……
Is it just me or does it seem like casu marzu as well as balut seem to consistently be referenced in top lists involving gross or seemingly horrifying foods? Maybe a sign to try them.
I would try them.
now this is more like it!! keep these kinds of list’s coming TopTenzMaster and me and you will be great friends!! LOVE THIS LIST 🙂
How about being a South American who played for a Rugby Team back in 1972. Crash land in the Andes Mountains 13,000 feet above sea level where the temperature at night averaged -35 to -40 below zero and ending up eating the corpses of your friends and family members who were sitting next to you for 70 days for sustenance until 16 people out of 45 were rescued. Read the book entitled “Alive” by Piers Paul Reid and I promise two things. 1). You will be traumatized by it and 2). You will dispose of the book because every time you see it on your nightstand because it will bring back memories of that small moment in history. Why do I say those 2 things ? Because that’s exactly what I did and have happen to me after I read the book………..Oh, and by the way ? They ate EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING !!!
I have had century eggs several times. Absolutely nothing wrong with it, neither in the preparation, nor in the taste. Surprised to see it in this list.
They’re particularly good as (essentially) a spice, for example with pork in the otherwise very bland rice porridge (“jouk”).
was this century egg that was soaked with human urine? i guess i heard/read it somewhere..
How about LUTEFISK. Lutefisk is a very popular dish with the Nordic and Scandinavian Countries and of people who live in the mid-west of the United States where German-Nordic people settled. It is Whitefish (or Cod, if your prefer) and is air dried for several days outdoors. After air drying, it is place in a container of cold water and kept there for 5-6 days. It will make the fish swell, but it decreases its protein content by 50%. The fish will also take on a jelly-like consistency. The fish is then marinated in LYE or CAUSTIC ACID. After a few more days, it is taken out of the LYE / CAUSTIC ACID and placed back into more cold water for another 4-5 days. Then, it is ready to cook. Never use metal silverware because if the residue of the fish is left overnight, it will be impossible to clean regardless of what you use as a cleaning agent. Sterling Silverware would be completely ruined. Lutefisk is the traditional Christmas Dinner of Norway and over 20% of the population of Norway eat it on a regular basis. It is usually served with green peas, potatoes and a white gravy made from whole butter
Yummy! 😀
Ah yes, it’s called Stockfisch in German. Strangely it’s a traditional food in regions that are far away from the sea. It was traded there for centuries, since it can’t really spoil.
Actually, most insects and worms and grubs are edible. People just don’t want to eat them because of … well, they’re insects! Even spiders are edible if you remove their poison glands first.
i’m a vegetarian….but frankly, this is hypocrisy at its best. beheading cow and making a paste out of its meat: normal. Bats: abnormal. Eating fish eggs: normal. Eating ducks: normal. Eating an almost ready to crack egg with a duck in it: abnormal. Foie gras: normal. monkey brain: abnormal.
you may not be familiar with it….but fact is people eat all kind of weird foods around the world. even in US….i saw in Discovery where ice cream was coated with worms.
No, it’s not the fact that the bat is eaten, it’s the fact that it’s cooked alive. Most non-vegitarians have a problem with that, because we consider that cruel, too. The same goes for the duck fetus. It’s definitely not hypocrisy.
Many poeple think that foie gras is cruel too and therefore don’t eat it, either. So do I.
With the monkey brain… well, that may vary. Most people have a problem with eating brain at all. I tried lamb’s brain and I don’t like the taste very much. I don’t mind it however when it’s mixed into sausages. Furthermore, monkeys, much like dogs (or horses in the US) are not considered animals you should eat. This of course, varies from country to country.
In short: Killing something quickly and eating it: ok. Torturing something to death and eating it: not ok.
many animals which are eaten on a regular basis in north america are “tortured”, for example lobsters are boiled alive, and fish are snagged on hooks and ripped apart while there still breathing. but its suddenly horrendous when its another country and a different animal. and saying “furthermore monkeys are not considered animals you should eat” is simply short sighted. perhaps there food YOU should not eat. in other countries they would never eat a cow.
Personally, I don’t eat lobster for exactly that reason, neither do most people I know. You have a point with fish, though, but that differs from country to country, too. For example in Germany every fish has to be killed with a blow to the head before slaughtering. If you have ever dealt with preparing freshly caught fish -you probably haven’t, I guess, since you are a vegitarian- you would also know that fish keeps “breathing” even when it’s dead, because it has such strong reflexes. My father once showed me this by taking out the brain of a carp’s head – it still kept moving.
With the monkey, you obviously haven’t read my post to the end. I wrote: “Furthermore, monkeys, much like dogs (or horses in the US) are not considered animals you should eat. This of course, varies from country to country” – It’s a cultural thing!
Here, we find it hard to believe that someone could eat monkey, but in other countries it’s completely normal. The middle east (including Israel) frowns upon the west for eating pork and most of Europe wonders why it’s forbidden to sell horse meat in the US. Most of China cracks jokes about the Cantonese because they eat dogs. (“A Cantonese will eat eat everything that has four legs and isn’t a table” – a common Chinese phrase). And if you talked to an Asian about cheese maybe twenty years ago, he would probably got sick. (That’s a bit different today since they see it as status symbol, just like chocolate).
Yes, in other countries, in India for example, they would never eat a cow – don’t you think they find it horrendous that we do? So isn’t it fair when I find it horrendous that they eat raw monkey brains?
Really nicely written list but the contents were disturbing.
@ FHM. I think you find Indians eat monkey brains from the movie Temple of Doom. You know this movie was banned in India when it was released because no one eats monkeys in India. Monkeys are worshiped and even if anyone hurts a monkey they have to make sure that they save the monkey and do penance for it. Only some stupid Hollywood movies with quarter of brains make the world see Indians eat monkey brains. Hindus consider that cows give milk and so many derivatives from milk which is offered to gods hence they feel how can anyone kill the animal which offers you its own milk. India is the country where if you go in most of the restaurant you would be first asked if you are a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian. I feel luck to be in India as I try to follow a vegetarian diet if I can and the amount of vegetarian dishes cooked here is amazing. Also we do not eat any of that horrendous buffet of horror the Indiana Jones movie portrayed. Show that food to any Indian person and he would go in a coma!!!
No, I don’t think Indians eat moneky brains because of “The temple of doom”. I’m sure they don’t because eating raw meat in rather arid countries is a bad idea. That’s why they eat that spicy food in southern countries: It keeps them from spoiling for a longer time.
I know the movie was banned in India, but not because showing them eating monkey brains. I think in India you could laugh about that too. It was banned because it mocked the followers of Kali and showed them as murdering, child-enslaving madmen
I mentioned the monkey brain because it’s a play with clich´es and couldn’t think of some other terrible stuff they could eat somewhere. If you read the rest of my text, you might have understood that.
You know, I studied archaeology, so I should know that nothing form an Indiana Jones movie is true. Expet maybe that archaeologists tend to destroy and break a lot of ancient ruins.
And again, you didn’t even try to get what I was trying to tell you.
I do not agree with eating the baby ducks alive, that to me is like walking up to your dog and cutting off his leg or some other body part and cooking it. Of course these thing vary from country to country, but some of these things are just sickening to a high degree. I am not a vegitarian but I very much love animals and have spent my life caring and saving them, and seeing these thing basically make me want to cry.
I forgot to say that I loved this list, but I did. So there. Thank you. 😀
The monkey brain eating scene in the film “Cannibal Holocaust” was most likely real, just like other animal killing and eating scenes in that movie. I would probably try some of these given the chance (or a dare). 😀 That Quadruple would keep me fed for at least a week, though. And BTW, about that bunny pic: do you know what bunnies tend to do right after they kiss? I thought you did.
Oh, and “Madventures” is a tv show where a couple of travelers try local foods (mostly disgusting) all over the world. It’s probably on YouTube. Check it out. 🙂
@ ParusMajor. I saw on VHS (Yes, back in those days) a Korean restaurant serving Monkeys Brains on the now banned “Faces Of Death” Movies and how its prepared. As you said, check out You Tube and to check it out. I can tell you for sure that a lot of excerpts from those movies are on You Tube. The aforementioned scene is probably on their right now.
I’m sorry if I burst your bubble, Peter, but those “Faces of Death” films are notorious for being mostly fake. The parts that aren’t fake are footage from actual accidents. That Korean restaurant bit is definitely fake.
@ Parus Major. I have an understanding of the falsifications (for lack of a better term) for the “Faces Of Death” movies. When you have a Narrator named Dr. Martin GROSS giving you a blow by blow description, that should give it away immediately. A funny story is once I was with a couple of buddies with me. It was the weekend and a case of beer in the backseat of the car we we’re driving in. We wanted to “entertain” ourselves with a couple of those movies. So we went to the nearest Blockbuster Movies. I went to the counter and asked the sales clerk if they had the “Faces Of Death” movies. The response that I got from the clerk was “WE DON’T RENT THOSE KINDS OF MOVIES, SO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE”. You know, I actually could not stop laughing. Real good Public Relations and sales ability on the clerk’s part…………LOL
I think that you are right.:) and if so are you a vegiterian?
The monkey brain scene was faked, was the only animal killing scene in “cannibal holocaust” that wasn’t real.
The scene where the guy shoots the boys pet pig was brutal, the actors didn’t know about it until just before the scene was about to be filmed (like most of the grisly scenes).
But yeah, the monkey brain scene is definitly faked, you can watch the making of the movie on the special edition DVD and it goes through all the scenes, including some that were cut from the final version. (Muskrat/Possum getting stabbed to death and a large turtle getting its flippers cut off while alive).